Hey, guys, how you doing, my name is Callux. Today, I am learning to drive. As you guys know, I… I can’t drive. Everyone… all of my friends can drive. So, I thought it’s about time And today, my instructor is, Folabi. Good. Today, I’m your driving… [BEEPS] Sorry. Is my first time in the car [LAUGHS] [LAUGHING CONTINUES] Why are you laughing? [SHOUTS]: Why are you laughing, huh? Why you pressing that? Press it. [BEEPING] Huh, what’s wrong with you, huh? When I say jump, What you say? How high? [Callux]: How high, yeah. I thought it might be a tricky question. [KSI]: When I say, swim. How far? How far. How far. How far. Far. Turn on the car. [MUSIC PLAYS] Turn it off, turn it off. [CAR STARTS] What are you doing? I just turned on the car. What are you… This is my first time… [SHOUTS]: Are you trying to KILL ME? HUH? Turn off the car. Will you even look at the mirror? Huh? You didn’t put… put on your seat belt. Huh? Normally when you like… when you teaching someone you like… Tell them what… [INTERRUPTS]: You meant to know. You meant to know this already. Ah. [BEEPS] Why you keep doing that? You don’t just l… [LAUGHS] [JJ]: It’s fucking… [BOTH LAUGHING] [SHOUTS]: WHAT ABOUT ME, HUH? What about my seat belt, huh? Okay Pretend I had no brain. Pretend I had no brain, huh? Yeah. So, what happened? We going to drive & aren’t you going to die, huh? No. No. No, no, no. You tell me to put on my seat belt. [FOREIGN ACCENT]: Put on your seat belt. Don’t… don’t say it like that. [LAUGHS] Err, excuse me, passenger, could you put on your seat belt? I have no brain. You have to do it for me. I have no brain, huh? Yeah. Let’s look at the mirrors. Yep. Have you checked the mirrors, huh? Yeah, those mirrors are fine. Are they good? Hm. Huh, what is this? Someone did that, man. Huh? I apologise. Don’t touch me. [MUSIC PLAYS] Why does this stupid music keep on playing? What is this? This? The wheel. What is this? The wheel, the wheel. It’s a wheel. It’s got a… [BEEPS] It’s got a beep on it. [JJ CLAPS] Kelloggs, this will be the first & the last time, if you do that again, I will beat you. [LAUGHS] Sorry. Now, before we erm Before we start, I want you to make love to the car. Make love to the car? I want you to make love to the car. OK, well. I haven’t seen other girls do it. This is a joke, just kiss the car. OK, alright. One sec, I just put my seat belt on first. Safety first. Safety is number one priority. Number one, priority. [RAISES VOICE]: Kiss the car. OK. [KISSES] Kiss it. [JJ]: Good. [Callux]: Yeah. What are you doing? I have like erm… Why you kissing the car? Why you listening to me? Is there something wrong with your brain, huh? OK that’s… [INTERRUPTS]: Do you have no brain? That is it. HUH? What are you doing? We’re going. What are you doing? We’re going. Ah, ah. Ah, ah. [FREAKS OUT] We’re going. [SHOUTS LOUDLY]: AH, YOU’RE GOING TO KILL ME! We’re going. YOU’RE GOING TO KILL ME! STOP THE CAR, BREAK THE CAR! BREAK IT! BREAK IT! We’re going to break. BREAK IT! BREAK IT! [SHOUTS] WHAT’S WRONG WITH YOU?! Ah, no, no, no… You’re going to kill me, huh? I’m not going to do this. I’m not going to do this. [INCREASES VOICE]: I’m not going to do this! You don’t just do that! I’ve payed for this lesson. I’m sorry, that w… What’s wrong with you? That was my fault. Huh? It was… Huh, what is wrong with you? It was my fault. Is this something wrong with you? You are stupid! How dare you? Do you even know what are this? No. You are lucky I’m a nice guy, huh? You going to need to do my seat belt again. I have no brain, remember? Do you know which one is the br… [LAUGHS] Sorry. Sorry, man. Do you know which one the brake is? Is the mini pedal. Shall I touch it now? Don’t. The right one is the accelerator. OK. And the left one is the clutch. And this one? Don’t do… Don’t, don’t do any of them. To accelerate,… Uh huh. …you’re going to need to put the right foot to the accelerate button. Release the handbrake… Yeah. release it, hold the brake. Yep. OK? Now, try to do it. We going backwards, huh? OK. We going backwards, put the brake. Touch the brake. We’re in neutral, you stupid bastard! This is really hard. It’s really hard, huh? It is really hard. Well, that is driving. Driving is hard, huh? You don’t just do it, You don’t just go, wheel and do driving, “Hey, look at me, in my car, in my Fiat. Oh look at me, I’m a cool white boy, and I’m driving like a a unwritten heavy. [LAUGHS MOCKINGLY] Look at me.” No, that doesn’t work. That doesn’t work here. Now, we’re going to try & accelerate on a flat surface. OK. OK? Try to find the right biting point, and then, accelerate with enough power to go. Put your right on the… [SHOUTS]: Put the… Put the right in the brake, and put the cut all the way down. [SHOUTS]: PUT THAT LEG ALL THE WAY DOWN! Now, try and find the right biting point. Good. Ah. Nice, you are driving. OK, OK, relax, relax, Relax. No, in a straight line. In a straight line. Just relax, relax Relax, relax. I’m relaxed. Relax. I’m relaxed. OK. I’m doing it! OK. Let’s try turn around. Which way, this way, this way? Now, turn. Now, turn around, turn around, turn around. Ah, ah. Turn around! OK, OK. TURN AROUND, HUH? OK, accelerate a bit more because we’re upper hill. Nice, OK. I’m doing it. Yes, you’re doing it. [DELIGHTFULLY]:I’m doing it. OK, OK. It was worth it, it was worth it putting up with you. Change gear. Change to gear 2. Change to gear 2. CHANGE TO GEAR 2! We stalled. Why did we stalled? I have no idea. [HORN BEEPS] You wan’t to wait, huh? You wan’t to wait? We need to go. We need to go. Just, relax, OK? Tell them to come… Do I… [BEEPS] Do I beep back? No, don’t beep back, huh? Ah, do you want to die? [SHOUTS]: YOU ARE LEARNING! YOU ARE LEARNING! Start the car. [CAR STARTS] [MUSIC PLAYS] STUPID! Now, accelerate… [CAR STALLS] Ah,…[JJ CLAPS] …we stalled again. [SIGHS] Did you find the biting point? No, I didn’t find the biting point. So, do you know why we stalled? They’re overtaking us, now. Yeah, that’s, that’s what happened. That’s what happened, huh? Why do you care? Why do you care about the people behind you, huh? Ignore them. Ignore them. Sorry. Don’t, don’t say sorry to them, huh? Bastard. Bastard. [BEEPS] Oh my god. Do you want me to beat you, huh? I will beat you. Huh, how old are you? How old are you? 24. You don’t think I can still beat you, huh? I will beat you to a pump. How dare you? [RAISES VOICE]: HOW DARE YOU?! [SIGHS] I just would not be able to drive. Start the car again. You beginning to piss me off, huh? Sorry. [SHOUTS]: FIND THE BITING POINT! AH?! FIND IT! What is my name? [MUSIC STARTS TO PLAY] What is my name? Erm, Kelodem. Are you being racist? What did I tell you? FOLABI! Folabi! Folabi. Folabi! Do you know Folabi means? Warrior. It means do not take the fucking piss! Excuse my language, I’m sorry, I’m… [GRINS] Good. Good, good, good. I found it. OK, OK. [SHOUTS LOUDLY]: YES! Now relax, relax. Turn left, turn LEFT! TURN LEFT! Ah, good, good, good. OK. I can’t see… I can’t see. OK. I can’t see a thing. Alright, turn left. OK. Turn left. OK. Turn left. No, no, no, you have to… Turn, turn… Ah, ah. Turn left. Turn… we’re on… we’re on the grass, huh? We’on the… [LAUGHING] We’re on the grass. I’m going to die, I’m going to die. I’m going to die today, huh? Yep. Now, this is the roundabout, OK? So, you need to make sure you look everywhere. You’re good, now we wait? Brake… I say… no, I got it, I’ve got it, I’ve got it. I’ve got it. Turn… ah, ah. We going to crash, WE GOING TO CRASH! [SHOUTS] Brake, brake, BRAKE! Brake. I need to breathe, I need to breathe. I need to breathe. I’ve had enough of him. I’ve… [CAR STARTS] I’ve had enough. [JJ]: What’s he’s doing? I’ve had enough. What’s he doing? Ah, what are you doing? What are you doing?! [BANGING] WHAT ARE YOU DOING?! HUH, what are you doing?! [MUSIC PLAYS] What are you… STOP THE CAR! STOP THE CAR! Ah! THIS BOY IS TRYING TO KILL ME, GOD what did I do to deserve this? What is this? [BANGING] What is that? That’s an L. I just wanna.., [INTERRUPTS] That’s an L. You are getting so many L’s to day, right now. Huh? You know what that means? Get on your knees. Listen to me, OK? We going to go into this car, I’m going to teach you how to drive. I am the captain now. There’s a… another car coming. I don’t give a FLYING FUCK ABOUT THE CARS COMING, HUH? I DON’T CARE, I don’t care! If you take the piss, one more time,… Yep. I’m going to rip your dick off. What? [DOOR BANGS] [CLEARS THROAT] You didn’t pay me enough for this, huh? You did not pay me enough for this. Sorry. Err… This is difficult, huh? Yep. This is what is like wrong with you? [BANGING] Go to be a little gentle. [MUSIC PLAYS] [SINGS] I’m done. No, no, no, no, please. No, please, please, please, please. No, no, I’m done. It’s over. We done, we done, we done. Fuck. No more, no more, no more. I’m taking this off, huh? How do you, how do you take this off? It’s over, it’s over. No, I’m not taking this. [JJ]: Huh? [Callux]: Jesus Christ. I am running this guy over, I don’t give a fuck. [CAR STARTS] OK. [BEEPS] I’m going to fucking run this guy over. I’m going to run this guy over. AH, AH. No. YOU’RE GOING TO KILL ME! How much this car worth? Like a thousand? Thousand. Yeah. Get out of the car. We… I have just stolen your car. No, no, no, no, no. [ENGINE REVS] No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. No. [LAUGHS] Stupid bastard.