English subtitles provided by Alex Shaw of the RJCTT # PWN ZWN THEME PLAYS # Step your muffins and slam your scone zoners It’s time for a PWN Zone brunch break Brought to you by Brunchables Brunch crunch cereal Whether for breakfast or lunch, munch on a bunch of brunch crunch. Brunchables punch up your brunch Our top story Crunch went Brian D’s underdog dreams as the one shot wonder of VGHS was completely o’bruncherated in yesterday’s FPS scrimmage by The Law. Peep this replay of him going “eggs Benedict Arnold”
on teammate Jenny Matrix. Brian! Check it! Ki invented a brunch pizza! She calls it – get this – a “Ki-sche” (quiche) I already told you, it’s just a coincidence. Isn’t she amazing, dude? You guys are great together. You would never betray one another. Aww, man! I suck. You still beaten up over that Jenny Matrix thing? Nah hah hah I’m over it. That’s the ‘tude dude, It’s a new day… “carpe diem”! Carpe diem! Carpe diem! Let’s get to class. That last pun felt a little half-baked Shotbot, but one thing’s for sure: Anyway you slice this melon, Brian D’s chances of making JV at tryouts are over. Easy. I’m Scott Slanders, and I’m *brff*… #DINGS, KICKS AND GRUNTS# #SHOBOT LAUGHS# Ki, that’s quite an interesting 4000 hit combo there K.O. ! I helped my parents design this game. Let’s play again! No! No! No! No, I’ve had quite enough. You’ve already made me quite the Brian D. #LAUGHTER# Let’s play again. FIGHT! Brian D… more like Brian Z… The last letter in the alphabet! OOH! Yeah! Don’t even listen to him dude. Ted, please, I don’t even know what that means. Z’s the laa… You know what, I don’t even have time to explain how sick of a burn that waa… Woaahhh… #CAR DRIFT SOUNDS# Ted! TED! Huh!? Huh. What happened? You okay!? You passed out for like twenty seven minutes! I’m fine Just… You’ve seen them, haven’t you Theodore!? Hi Drift King. *beep* The visions, What are they? Merely a side effect, Of drift fever! You’ve got the bug Ted! You can’t escape this now! Cast off that silly little plastic guitar, and grip the steering wheel of destiny! Forget it, DK! Us Wong’s are bred to shred. I’m signing up for rhythm gaming and there’s nothing you can do to stop me! Confounded! Why must you Brian D your future away on this dying sport!? Look at me in the eye, And tell me that hammer-ons and pull-offs can possibly compare… to the g-force of an A plus J-turn! The thrum of a rumble chair as you careen past the chequered flag. The churning in your chest as you hear those three magical words: New. Lap. Record. Got a class… I gotta go to class. Yoga class, let’s go. That’s on Thursday! I don’t care, let’s go. OK! Ted! Even a man as fast as you can’t run away from himself forever! Hey buddy look, I got your- oh. Ah, my thanks, Ted’s vassal. “Original potato” Though, in the future, I’d prefer sour cream and onion. Who are you? Huh! #CHATTER AS BELL RINGS# Hey there, champ! How you holding up? Erm, uh, great, great, yeah it’s all going great Yeah, this is nothing compared to our old school, those guys really knew highs. Really? Well I guess we’ll just have to step it up a notch then. JK! I’m just Rowling you bro! Oh, hah hah hah – hah. So erm, you good? Good? Yeah, no, I’m great! You know, It’s erm… Totally great, you’re great, I’m great, you’re with The Law, that’s great, by the way. Erm, I’m by myself but that’s great. So yeah, no, everything’s great. Good! Um, I have to go setup for practice but I’m glad that you’re- Doing great! OK Catch you later, babe. I really am- Gah! #CRASH# Ooh! Brian D! My office! Now! The school took a risk on you Brian. You let us down. Have a seat, kid. Sir, Sir, I know I screwed up at scrimmage but I figure with tryouts just around the corner I- VGHS tryouts? are streamed across the world. And you’re one point away from expulsion. Administration doesn’t like those odds. So what are you saying? I’m saying you’re circling the drain. We don’t need some kid Brian D’ing all over our reputation. That new catchphrase is the exact reason why administration is asking you to rage quit on your accord. We’re asking you to… We’re asking you to leave VGHS. Hey! Kick back the hoverball! Tough day, Brian? Oh hey Games! What do you want? Just wondering if you dropped this. How did you get that? Well it’s a funny story. “I told you, stick with the Games. I’m totally a catch.” That’s my favorite game! No baby, that’s our favorite game. Great, well, enjoy the game. Oh I will. Not as much as Jenny will enjoy your cute little “I like you but I don’t have the balls to say so” note. But per chance The Law will succumb to your ‘Don Juan-te’ marksmanship. Are you kidding me? This place is ridiculous! It’s my time in the spotlight, Brian, and you’re standing in my way. It’s games time! Ohohoho! It’s games time! That’s cute. You got yourself a little brand! I like that! You know what, Games? You want the spotlight? You can have it! But first here’s what we’re gonna do. Alright, we’re gonna throw down, and I’m gonna stomp your face, and I’m gonna make you cry in front of your two… Stupid friends whose names I don’t even wanna know. You see Games, I’m one point away from expulsion. And I’m gonna use that point on all three of you noobs. I figured you’d say something like that. Assault rifles? Aww, let’s get an SMG in there. Your funeral. Best of three? First of five. Game’s on. #GUN SHOTS# “Oooh, tough” Ohohoho! See ya! I’m destroying you! What are you doing here? Saving your ass. Yeah, well It’s a little late for that. Brian, what the hell are you doing? I’m leaving on my own accord. Yeah, I set you up. But you know what? You wanted to be in that game and you screwed it up. So you can blame me, you can the whole damn school, but right here, right now, it is all on you. Let’s dance. VICTORY But… but… it was Games Time… This isn’t over, Brian D. Cronies, let’s roll. Thanks for the assist Erm Yeah, you’re welcome. You should play like that more often See you at sign-ups tommorrow Well, you can kiss your high scores goodbye! Yeah, good luck with that captain Hey Jenny, Thanks for giving me a shot. And no matter how cool you are, you better practise those five star songs if you plan on taking me on! Brian.