Here’s my marksheet
and here’s my transfer certificate. Give me a second, ma’am.
I need to take this call. Yes, Babu. I’ve booked the corner seats.
Sorry… Yes, Babu.
I’ll buy you popcorn and nachos. With my hands? Aren’t you going a little overboard, Baburao? Did I tell you to cut your finger
while chopping onions? Yeah, I’ll get there.
Okay, bye. Hey, listen? Didn’t you study at the
Sitakunj Mahavidyalaya? – Yes, yes, sir. Tejas Maheshwari. – I don’t remember your name, but how can anyone forget this body? You had participated in an obstacle race
in probably the 8th grade? – Well…
– Yes, yes… You were the final obstacle
for the participants. – No one won the race that year.
– Yes, sir. – What?
– What? – Who’s going to say ‘Shubhmadhyanam’? Sorry sir, Shubhamadhya… Never mind. Can you fill this form for me? I forgot to bring my glasses. – Sure…
– It’s a bank deposit form. This one is the Demat account form. This one is the final settlement form. – Name?
– Tejas Maheshwari, sir. I’d told you. My name. Write it in the form. There is some ink left. Did you forget my name? Sir, we actually never called you
by your name. Everyone in school also called you
crazy sir.. They called you the ‘Sanskrit Sir’.
So… You use ‘dad’ to address your father
at home, right? Do you remember his name? – I do, sir.
– Write! Hasan Ali. – Sir, age 55?
– 45. – Do I look that old to you?
– No, sir… Listen, I watch all the shows online. – Okay, sir. Do you have a picture?
– Absolutely! Look at this. This is a picture of me watching
Game of Thrones. This one of me watching Narcos. This is 13 reasons why. Here’s Big Boss. Not this, sir! Do you have
a passport size photo for the form? Why didn’t you say so? You look quite young in this, sir.
Do you have a recent picture? What are you doing these days? Nothing much, sir. I did corporate
internship after my B.tech. But I didn’t like it so I quit. – Even I’m tired of teaching Sanskrit.
– That was bound to happen, sir. But I’m not unemployed. It’s winter and hence a season
for weddings. I’m a part-time priest. What are you doing
after quitting your job? I’m currently getting coached at home
for CAT. This is the biggest problem of your
generation. You want coaching for everything! First you need coaching for school,
then for college admission. Now I’m sure you’re getting coached
even for your MBA somewhere outside. Not outside, sir.
I do it online. I attend video lectures
from the Unacademy app. Does anyone study through the phone? Your studies will go down the drain
if your phone stops working. You can start and end your lectures
anytime. You can pause and restart it anytime. It’s more convenient to study
on the app compared to a teacher. Are you serious? An entire classroom
is on a phone now? It’s not sanskrit, sir.
It’s science. Nothing, sir. Hello? How did you get here so soon?
It said 2 minutes. Wrong? How could you enter
a no entry zone? Okay, okay, sorry. I’ll come in a bit.
Okay, sorry. I’ll be there in 5 minutes. Sir, my cab is here. Can you quickly tell me a nominee’s name
who’ll get your money after you go? Where am I going? – It’s possible that I leave before you.
– Of course it is. Write my son’s name- Ashfaq Ali. – What does he do?
– He chews my brain, that’s what. I meant occupation, sir.
What do I fill in the form? He runs own kitchen. A house husband, which means
he’s unemployed… He has a Youtube channel
called ‘Own Kitchen’. He puts up videos of new recipes. I let him get spoilt, ’cause he’s a child
with no mother. I’m so sorry to hear that, but I didn’t
know that your wife… She’s not dead.
She’s in the merchant navy. She stays out for 8 months.
Why are you after killing us? Is this what you learnt at school? Who was your class teaccher?
I’m going to call him right now! – It was Divedi sir.
– That Divedi is the biggest nut! This is the result of being taught by him. Sir, my cab’s arrived. Can you please
tell me your Aadhar number? – Aadhar number?
– Yes, sir. Aadhar number? Aadhar, Aadhar… – I forgot to bring my Aadhar card.
– Didn’t you remember to? Is an Aadhar card my wedding anniversary
to remember it? Hold on. How many Sanskrit shloks
did I teach you? Except that one. Hello? Robert? Take a look at my Aadhar card that’s in
my cupboard and give me the number. Make it quick. Haseena Ali is his mom. Can’t you see the picture
and recognise? Yes, both have boy cut hair,
but only I have beard. Look, this is too confusing. Message me. It’s here. Yes sir, tell me? Here, 8334 It’s done sir. – Sign here, sir.
– Where? – Here, sir.
– Up or down? – Do it anywhere, sir.
– I can’t see where I need to sign. Sir, give me your ID card.
I’ll copy your signature and do it. Is this what you’ve learnt?
To copy? I’m sure you only signed your report cards
instead of your father. Yes, sir. I only did! I did.
Now can you please sign? – Where?
– Here. – Here?
– Yes, sir. Here. – Hold that properly.
– How will you sign then? Here it is, mam. Here are the forms. Hello? Yes, yes. I’m right there. Where are you going?
I’ll give you 5 stars. Okay, I’ll even tip you.
I’ll be right there. Okay, sir. I’ll get going.
My cab guy has come. It was nice meeting you, sir. – Ok ok.
– Thank you, sir. – Tejas.
– Yes, sir. Son, they’re asking me to get
3 photocopies of each of these forms. 2 sets each.
Both sides. Go, run along and get them done.
He’ll just get them done. He just looks heavy,
but he’s quick.