THE MOST ANNOYING KID IN SCHOOL
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THE MOST ANNOYING KID IN SCHOOL


You got this. Red leather, yellow leather, red leather, yellow leather. Ahhhhh! Teacher: I’m okay with Global Warming. Who likes the winter really? Jordan: Good morning class, or should I say… Hood morning! Teacher: You’re late Jordan take a seat. Jordan: What’s up, my name’s Jordan Schwartz. I’m a Senior at Blanview High School and I’m the Class Clown. Teacher: Jordan, I need you to sit like a normal person. Jordan: It’s not my fault it’s the desks fault. Jordan: Yeah, I’ve been pretty funny all 12 years of school, but this is the last month of Senior year and on Friday, our class votes for Yearbook titles and while most people are going for Best Hair or Best Couple or Best Kiss, I’m definitely gunning for Funniest. Michael: I mean.. I guess Jordan’s funny. He’s not like laugh-out-loud funny. More like I acknowledge that you’re trying to make a joke. Stephanie: I have four classes with that dude. He does that hood thing everyday, even in the afternoon. So a few months ago I was like hey.. You realize it’s 2:30 p.m. right? and he was like “that’s f*cking hilarious” and laughed for a minute straight and now.. He just does that. Teacher: You can use geometry in some cool ways like playing- Jordan: Good afternoon class, or should I say… hood afternoon! Teacher: You’re late. Jordan: I’m pretty confident I’ll win funniest but people only vote based on what they remember. So I really need to step up my game these next few days. Teacher: Who can tell me where on the map the African country Djibouti is? Jordan: Hey, speaking of maps. Why do paper maps always lose poker tournaments? Because they always fold. Keith: Yo, I don’t think you came up with that joke. I’ve heard that before. Jordan: Just don’t- don’t- don’t ruin this for me Jordan: To make sure I stand out I’ve been trying to perform as much as possible. Renting venues can become pretty expensive, but I think it’s worth the investment. Teacher: What? No, Jordan. You can’t pay me for stage time. You know if you want to come in here and tell your jokes, that’s fine. But come in early, okay? Not four minutes late next time. I’m instituting the tardy policy, okay? Jordan: I come in late so there’s a packed house and FYI, you need to do a better job of warming up the crowd. They’ve been stiff as f*ck this week. Teacher: Jordan! Rachael: Honestly, I kind of used to admire the guy. Used to, like, genuinely make me laugh. But it seems like lately he’s been trying really hard to force stuff out, and it’s getting SO cringy. Jordan: Whoah! Michael’s hung. Jordan: I’m trying to just draw a smiley face! It’s a smiley face! Jordan! Teacher: Jordan, no! Jordan: Ew, gross! He grabbed Michael’s penis! Teacher: I guess I didn’t grab anybody’s penis. This is what I haven’t when I tried to sleep with your mom’s Jordan: This is what had happened when I tried to sleep with your moms. Keith: Why are you doing this? Jordan: I think my inspiration would have to be my dad. He used to be the class clown and now he’s the funniest guy in the office. Bob: Hey, Rick. Um.. Bob: How do you make a Kleenex- Rick: What did I tell you about leaning on my desk? Bob: Oh, sorry. Um… How do you make a Kleenex dance? Put a little boogie in it. Bob: Hey, hey Jan. How do you make a Kleenex dance? Teacher: Back to our mains, we really don’t need our lungs as much as people think- Jordan: Hood afternoon. Teacher: Jordan, you’re late again. You better have a good excuse. Jordan: Oh, yeah. You know, I was late for class because I was perfecting my craft. Teacher: Great, great. That’s a warning. One more and that’s detention. Okay, Mr. Cool? Rachael! What’s your excuse? Rachael: I’m sorry. I was late for your class because.. Um.. Perfecting my overdone catchphrase! Teacher: Alright, go sit down. Jordan: Uh.. Wait, she doesn’t get a warning too? Rachael: Well. We don’t get warnings when we have to sit through your overtold jokes. Everyone: Oh! Teacher: Alright, guys. Jordan: What the hell was that? Rachael Mathis slang the room? Listen. I respect a good roast, but Rachael f*cking Mathis!? She hasn’t told a joke in her whole life and suddenly, she’s the king of the school? This better not affect my chances of winning funniest. I mean I’m sure it’ll blow over in a couple days, but still.. Just annoying. Rachael: Perfecting my.. Overdone catchphrase! Jordan: It’s a meme now!? Her joke wouldn’t have even existed if I hadn’t been setting it up for the past year! She ripped me off! She stole my joke and how did she even get that footage anyway? Wait, it was you guys? Are you serious? Why would you do that? I thought we were- Okay. Great, you know what? Cool. Cool. No. No, I’m done. I’m done. Good luck. Good luck with your documentary. I’m out. Intercom: Good morning Blanview High. It’s Friday morning, which means the votes are finally in for the Senior Yearbook titles. For Prettiest, we have Lindsey Copette. For Best Couple, we have Brent Gilmore and Bethany Sholts. For Best Smile, we have Grady Lipton. And for Funniest we have… Rachael Mathis. Rachael: Honestly I could care less. Yeah, those words mean nothing to me. But I would have liked to win something like Best Teeth. Background: Are you thinking of Best Smile? I don’t think there’s a Best Teeth category. Rachael: Well, there should be. You can totally have great teeth even if you don’t smile all the time. I’ve got pretty great teeth. Teacher: You think this may be a circle, but it’s actually a square. You got- Jordan: You’ve all heard the.. overdone catchphrase. But have you heard the Overdone overdone catchphrase? Kieth: What does that even mean? Jordan: Overdone like overcooked. Rachael: You’re not even cooking anything. (Everyone yelling and screaming) (Fire alarm goes off while everyone screams) Jordan: Sure I didn’t win Funniest and I got expelled and arrested, and I’m not allowed to walk at Graduation or graduate. But do I regret any of it? Absolutely not. Rachael Mathis can have the Yearbook because I got the newspaper. See that? Funny kid. Funny kid. This may have been a long journey full of personal and legal repercussions. But if I’ve learned anything.. It’s why be the Class Clown when you can be the City Clown. Because now everyone else is just JAILous. Plus I found my audience. (Voiceover) Hood afternoon! If you’re super stupid, click that box on the right. But if you’re extra dumb, click that box on the left.

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100 thoughts on “THE MOST ANNOYING KID IN SCHOOL

  1. If I was Jordan in this I would feel like everyone is sexist and everyone hates me,I’m in a similar situation right now

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  3. If you wanna be funny don’t do the same thing over and over again and don’t do it non stop look at a meme it’s funny but within a week or 2 then it dies like someone trying to make a joke

  4. The phrase is “I couldn’t care less.” If you say “I could care less,” that means you care to some extent.

  5. Who else realised that they put "funny kid" so he's not really funny and also everybody probably saw that so…. 🙁

  6. Plot twist Jordan was normal and the others are just aliens who don’t get jokes because they are from Area 51

  7. "FUNNY KID" BURNS DOWN SCHOOL

    Jordan Schwarz of Quagmire High School had people in a frenzy last Thursday morning, but it wasn't because of his nauseating comedy routine. The young high school student actually set fire to his fourth period Algebra class for no apparent reason. Jordan was reportedly "pushing the limits of comedy," he told us in an interview 3 days before his court hearing.

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