My dudes, it’s the last week of school. W E M A D E I T. I still have classes and stuff like that, I still have things due so, it’s not just going to be like a fluffy vlog. I’ve already gotten dressed. I’m looking kinda homeless, but please it’s the last week of school, don’t hold me to any standards (mood). I’ve also already had breakfast. I’m pretty sure that you guys already know that Loblaws was devoid of all tortillas so I’m having to eat avocado toast which is…. ….we’re not going to talk about that. It’s almost time for me to go. It’s raining but I’m determined to walk to school. Let’s get going! The final week… THIS WAS IT. No more would I be a high school student. My senioritis would soon be cured. But don’t fool yourself, I was still suffering from its symptoms. Mother nature seemed to be feeling the same way too, but I wasn’t complaining. It’s been mathematically proved by no one that I have a better day when it’s raining. I swear, when I wake up and it’s just pouring outside I audibly say, “Today’s going to be a good day!” Anyways, I arrived at school after my hike and and was immediately greeted by Jade doing Whatever the heck this is (very impressive). On that note; remember in my prom video when I said that she had a pet raccoon? Well, update on that story, that raccoon had five little children! Jade has a whole army of raccoons in her backyard right now (OMGTHEY’RESOCUTEEEE). And it’s one of the best things I’ve ever seen (same), But as things go, I soon found myself in calculus. Doing my work and having a grand old time crunching numbers like a maniac. Hello my dudes, so we’re now walking home from school. If you can remember from my last school video- I talked about how I only have two courses this semester, so let me give you a quick run down of everything that happened. So in Math, I had to hand in these study notes, the math department at my school makes us write study notes for each unit. They are the most frivolous, unnecessary things ever. You just have to regurgitate the lessons onto a piece of paper and write in size two font to make sure that everything fits on the page . And then I had chemistry, and in chemistry, nothing happened (So, what’s new?) Now we’re going to go home and I’m going to make my lunch. And then I’ll probably go to the gym and then I’ll make dinner. OH! Today on the menu, acorn squash! Let me tell you something, acorn squash is gonna be the death of me. My mom bought me this mandoline slicer and it’s amazing. She also made me wear these stupid, cut proof gloves. so that I don’t chop off my fingers, we’re going to see if they actually work, I highly doubt they will (same). *cronch* *beaver sounds* (Ooh ooh, what did the fish say when he swam into the wall? Dam! Get it? Dam… Beaver dams… Ha ha. *squeak* *YEET* *C O N S U M E C U C U M B E R* * It is 3:45, Tuesday afternoon. And today, today we have something special. My school has an athletic banquet every single year for all the kids who did sports, I did both swimming and cross country for high school, it’s pretty much just a dinner. But, the exciting thing is, you get to dress up (uh, no thank you). And let me tell you something… I’M STEPPING OUT So let me show you what I’m wearing- Okay, stay with me for one second. So I was on the internet the other day, and I saw these boots (that you can probably see from space). and then I thought to myself, these have my name written all over them. I have no use for this, I’m probably gonna use this once and never again But, it’s gonna look good (John Cena is everyone’s spirit avocado). So this is what my feet are wearing. And then, I went to Aritzia and bought this burgundy slip dress. Now actually, okay, I need to endorse Aritzia for like ten minutes here. I owe Aritzia everything (same). Like every single time I don’t know what to wear to an event they have my back They have exactly what I’m looking for (yasss, queen aritzia) So, anyways, now what I’m doing is obviously I’ve washed my hair, I have to wax my legs (MORE WAXING AND RANTING WITH JOHN CENA) and then I’m going to do my nails, and then we’ll get going (nevermind). flash forward a good twenty minutes, my legs were hairless and it was time for my mother to wreak her havoc on my mane of hair. She attacked it with the panache of a bonafide hairdresser. The goal was to make it look like a beautifully woven silk carpet, instead of a cRuStY old rats nest. And she did just that. It was time to paint my cLaWs On the menu, a beautiful black scattered holographic nail polish. Simplynailogical is QUAKING. Now usually I don’t go for such dark colors because they make my fingers look like sausages and I remain correct, they did end up looking like little sausages But it was too late at that point because it was time to go to the venue, I was READY. Those boots were giving me some sort of other wordly power, I was feeling like a majestic unicorn I was on a role, I was bulldozing everything in front of me. I COULD NOT BE STOPPED. DON’T. STOP ME NOOOOOAAW This vipidal hominid was enjoying herself way too much My fashion show did not last long though, (Noooo) because soon enough my mother had thrown me into the backseat and we were driving PHAST My mother was in the fifth, nay, seventh gear and was driving as if no policemen were looking. Not really, but you get the point. Soon enough we had arrived at the venue which shall remain nameless because aliens are real (I am one) and they are waiting for their opportunity to abduct us (yes, we are) Wake up sheeple. The blinding lights that somehow managed to keep the room dark met me as soon as I walked in, maybe it’s those aliens I thought ;)) No, red is not the color of extraterrestrials, I thought to myself It’s the color of… n o. N o. NO, No, NOOOOO (◉͜ʖ◉) We’re getting off topic, aren’t we? (yup) At the end of the day, I still had a lovely time. My friends from the swim team were there, including Erin, with the 117-degree fever (HOW ARE YOU NOT DEAD YET?) Charice with the perfect breaststroke, and Jennifer, she loves to say sister. JAMESCHARLESWHO I mean.. that was all fun and games but we all knew what I was really there for. OKAY MY DUDES, COVER ALL THE EXITS, KEEP YOUR AMMO AT THE READY, BECAUSE THIS FULL COURSE MEAL WAS A TUMMY FULL TO SAY THE LEAST. First up, the rAvIoLi-RaViOlI, tOrTiLlAs and gUaCaMoLe, This stuff was honestly like crack, I’ve never done crack (sure), but I know of many cracks ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) so maybe I am just a felon after all. I was mopping up the plate nonetheless, they wouldn’t even have to clean it when I was done with it. Next up, the Caesar salad, it was good. Except for the fact that they gave me like three leaves of romaine. And finally, the chicken. I have to admit, it was an abomination. It tasted like clay trying to be chicken. It was dry, but strangely moist at the same time (moist, moist, m o i s t.) It was hard to swallow it, the thing tasted like sand. And finally, I got the dinkiest desert ever. It was a bowl of vanilla ice cream, some strawberries, and that GOD-AWFUL RASPBERRY VOMIT. I was doing everything in my power to just eat around it, but it was E V E R Y W H E R E . Flowing around that ball of ice cream like it was trying to drown it. And just like that, the night was over. Mother goose came to pick me up, and we drive off into the sunset~ Now Wednesday (its wednesday, my dudes. aAaaAAAaah) came along and like most Wednesdays do, it was hump day. (teen titans) The day of the week where nothing of interest happens and yet it takes the longest amount of time to pass by. It’s like a fever dream you have at three in the morning, when you wake up you know what happened but you can’t quite put your finger on exactly it was that happened other than that shark boy and lava girl were somehow involved. Actually, I watched that movie one too many times when I was in elementary school. I can remember everything. From the awful CGI to the incompetence of the main character who was played by some Macaulay Culkin knockoff. Actually, while we’re on the topic. Home Alone was played every Christmas when I was a child, nobody cared for the movie, but when it was played everybody’s eyes were drawn to the TV like moths to a flame. I could probably recite it if someone asked me to. Actually, no, yeah, no. That’s just a bold-faced lie, isn’t it? But hey, if a bold faced lie and an entire collection of moldy lipsticks will get you number one on trending Who cares if it’s legit, right? (THE TEAAAAA SISSSS) I bring you this footage from the underside of my umbrella. 🙂 So we’re on our way to school, the penultimate walk of shame is upon us. There isn’t much going on at school to be honest, but I find that, for some odd reason, I get a lot more work done when I’m sitting in class, so I’m going, just so that I can have some good study sessions If you know what I mean (nope). Especially seniors at this point, no one’s going to school, like are you kidding me? A couple of weeks ago, we had senior skip day. I was not invited (aweee) But that’s okay because I have scholarships to uphold ( S N A P P E D) I ate breakfast like ten minutes ago and I’m already hungry. Anyways, I’ll see you guys at school. Now, Thursday was surprisingly eventful for one thing, and one thing only. I was gracefully sitting in chemistry, minding my own gosh-darn business, when a little inch worn decided to show up on my desk. This dude was minuscule. But I could tell that he was a tough nugget, I feel like if I was an inchworm in an alternate universe, I would NOT be friends with him… 🙁 Sorry. Better luck next time, my guy. *smack* *DEVILISH ROARS FROM THE FIREY PITS OF HELL* I hope you guys are doing well, I hope the weather is nice where you are (pffft) I hope the cookies taste good, and I hope the milk isn’t spoiled. Anyways, it’s time for lunch now. I found an eggplant in my fridge this morning, and I thought, “hey maybe I can do something with this.” So I’m going to try to make eggplant chips. I don’t think they’re going to work because I absolutely dEsPiSe eggplant. It’s just so vile. I don’t understand how people can eat that and say… “I’m EnJoYiNg myself.” Then I’m probably going to go to the gym and then do some homework. Spoiler alert: the eggplant was the worst thing that I had ever eaten (I can’t even-). And no, it was not the fact that it was burnt, it’s the taste, it was putrid. A grotesque creation, honestly out to get me. I GAGGED, thrashed, and convulsed, before giving up the effort to shove it down and donating it to my dad, who is one of those weirdos who love eggplant. A couple of hours later it was time for me to go to the gym, but mother nature had other plans. A torrential downpour was going on and I got excited and went for a run instead of going to the gym. Let me tell you something, running in the rain is the best thing ever. And I cannot endorse it enough. You do end up looking like a wet dog but that’s the price you pay. After that, I had these tofu noodles which were beyond scrumptious and a surprisingly flavorful vegan beef patty. I devoured it quickly for the next morning a fateful day lay ahead of me. FINALLLLLLLLLLLLLLYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY. I’m having an existential crisis. It’s finally here. This is the last day I will wake up to go to high school (I’m actually crying, what the hell-) I would like to thank my mom, I would like to thank my dad, I would my left foot but not my right one because it, unfortunately, passed away in a car accident (RIP little guy, you will be missed) Is there going to be anyone at school today? No. But I’m going still because I’m gonna live it up (Yessss) I’m gonna get teh full last day of the high school experience. No more English class, no more Math study notes, this was it. I had finally crossed the finish line. I mean I barely did, but I crossed it nonetheless (so proud :’) ) This day was one of good memories and nightmares. Bright lights, and utter shadows. Gentle waves and fierce tsunamis. As much as I looked forward to what was to come, there was a part of me that could not believe that I was finally finished! And pretty much every single way this is all I’ve ever known. I cried, pooped, peed, ate, and then I was thrown into school. What is life now? I mean, sure I have University next year, but that’s a whole different ball game. Nah, we must not dwell on the future but instead celebrate the past (Yes, my young Einstein). Tonight, my decibels, WE FEASTTTT!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I’ve never eaten this much ice cream in one sitting. But I’m going to now because I deserve it (Yes, yes you do) I have been doing this, for twelve years. If I want to drown myself in carbs, you best believe I’m going to do it. So my dudes, moral of the story is: If you’re out there, and you’re struggling in school, just know that two scoops of cookie dough ice cream on a waffle cone are waiting for you :’) So that’s it. That’s all. See ya later. Bye!