Teacher of the Year (Mockumentary)
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Teacher of the Year (Mockumentary)


As a high school teacher, I just love my job. I come to work every day just glowing. Alright guys, clear your desks! Pop quiz, NOW. Put your hand down — you can’t go to the bathroom. Sit down, shut up, and be good! The most important thing, for me… if I want my students to respect me, then I need to respect them. And I do that. Every day. Good morning, Mr. Carson! Can’t you see that I am busy grading essays?! I have a big stack right here! The last thing I need is to talk to you right now, alright?! You guys are so rude! Just go away! Just get out of here! (under breath) God. What a lot of people don’t realize, with my job, is that I’m not just a teacher. I’m also a…I guess a life coach. When I know that my students are having problems, not just with their classwork, but with each other, I have to step in. – Girl, if you make fun of my double chin one more time! – I can make fun of your double chin if I freaking want to! (indistinct arguing) Oh, give me the scissors! No, don’t give her the scissors! You better not give her the scissors! (indistinct arguing) As a teacher, I just think it’s very important to really have that one-on-one connection with a student to really get to know… you know, what makes them tick. To step inside their head and walk around a little bit. Mr. Carson, can you look over this essay — Ooooh! Ooh! Aghhh! Why… I’m sorry — are you a student here? Mr. Carson, I’ve had you for four years! (under breath) Four years. I — I don’t want to sound rude. I’ve never seen you before in my life. You’ve talked to me multiple times. (sigh) No. So, as you can see, I just… I love it here.

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