Teach People How you Want to be Treated! | Stephanie Lyn Coaching
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Teach People How you Want to be Treated! | Stephanie Lyn Coaching


Hey guys, welcome back to my channel if you are new, my name is Stephanie. I’m a life and relationship coach this week We are talking all about respect and more importantly how to really start commanding respect from others so if you’re watching this video chances are you want some information on what are the things that I can do that will allow the Relationships with people in my life to respect me more now one question I get often from people that are coming out of abusive relationships or even just a really Bad marriage and have gone through a divorce or a breakup is I don’t even often know sometimes when I’m being Disrespected so if you don’t know you haven’t been in a healthy relationship to know, okay? well What does abuse look like what is manipulation look like? And you’re not too familiar with those things the quickest way to know if you’re being disrespected is really how you feel so You feel it inside? You’ll feel it in your intuition when someone says something that just feels a little hurtful or that’s rude or inappropriate So even if you can’t pinpoint something you’ll always be able to know your body will always give you an indication As to when you feel uncomfortable in a certain situation now before we get started if you haven’t already don’t forget to hit the subscribe button down below and don’t forget to click on the Notification bell this will inform you each week when I do upload a new video so you don’t miss a thing So now I want to get into some ways that you can start demanding people respect you more I’m one of the very first things that I always say and it’s something that is kind of common sense And I’m sure you’ve heard a thousand times is no one is going to respect you unless you start respecting yourself So self-respect is really all about knowing who you are So, who are you and what are the things that you need to be in a healthy relationship? What do you need out of relationships in order to be fulfilled? What makes you tick and not just what do you need from other people right to give to you in relationships? But what are the things that you know intuitively you need to start giving yourself, but you’re probably not So is your self-talk really bad, do you not know how to motivate yourself? Do you have low self esteem and self confidence so working on? Okay, where are my wounds what things that I know that I need to work on for me? my self-talk is Always gonna be something that I’m gonna work on the rest of my life because I’m human I have an ego and at times that ego is want is going to want to keep me in fear and stress and self-doubt and so really challenging that ego and learning how to Quiet that ego throughout the course of my life is something that I know I’m gonna always be working on, you know forever So now what are the things that you yourself need to be working on? What are the things that you need to give yourself? So one thing that people often don’t give themselves is learning how to say no So learning to say no is the most self loving self respectful thing that you can do for yourself because what that means is in the moment you chose to put Yourself first and now this is not a black or white situation obvious Obviously there are gonna be times when we say yes to something and we really want to say no but we say yes because someone really needs us someone that we love and care about is Struggling with something and we want to help them out because we love them, but perhaps you know We just worked a 12 hour a day, and we’re completely exhausted So maybe it’s not the thing that we really want to do is to help this person Maybe we really want to get some rest but we know that it’s beneficial towards building this relationship and helping this person because we love and care about this person now, There are other times where where people please are where we’re a fixer where we’re a little codependent and we’re saying yes And yes to things and we don’t even think whether or not we want to actually Do it and that’s something that I struggled with for years was I always would say yes to everything that People asked of me and I never even asked myself do I actually want to do that? so one of the things that I always suggest to people is really When someone asks something of you all you have to do is just take a second and ask yourself Is this something that I really want to do right now? Is this something that is really good for me? Is this person trying to manipulate me, you know? So learning how to kind of stay in touch with yourself and take care of yourself in that way That is self-respect because the problem with saying yes to everything And everyone is you begin to wear yourself really thin and when you wear yourself out and you don’t put yourself first That’s not sulfur expect and the PS no one respects that person So the person that does everything for everyone, you know That’s the person that allows people sometimes to manipulate them and walk all over them And that’s not the person that people will look at and say oh my god. I really want to be this person Right. I want to be her. I want to be him He’s so confident and self respectful and he knows how to take care of himself. That’s Really what people think of with the person that says yes to everything is wow That’s a great girl or yeah, that’s a great guy And that’s a that’s a great thing to have right to have people think that you’re such a nice human being but it also there’s also story I guarantee you that people are saying the back of their head is But they do so much for other people and they never take care of themselves now The next thing is learn to invest in people that invest in you and I’m not talking about Relationships that you’ve had for a long period of time where there’s mutual respect between you two, you know There’s a great healthy give-and-take in the relationship. I’m talking about learning how to invest into Relationships into new relationships as that foundation is being built So this goes for the beginning stages of dating, right? We don’t just start giving everything to this person And we haven’t really gotten a chance to get to know them and built that trust and built built that foundation This also has to do with new friendships right when we meet new people, and we’re just getting to know each other There is a healthy wall that should be up with both people because I’m not gonna give everything I’m not gonna give myself to you if I don’t even know you yet So learn to invest into people and say yes to people When you know that they would say yes to you so one of the most respectful things that you can do for yourself the thing that will allow you to have happiness keep your Vibration intact is learning how to not Emotionally respond to others the next thing that allows you to really work on that Self-respect is learning how to not emotionally react to others. So I talk about this extensively throughout my channel is how to respond not react so when there’s a discussion that’s being had in a relationship or a disagreement or an argument and You can tell someone’s getting really really heated and you engage that or if someone’s using an abusive tactic on you gaslighting manipulation being passive-aggressive giving you the silent treatment and you get so angry and emotionally charged up because of what they’re trying to do and really what they’re Doing is just a defense mechanism or perhaps try to punish you for something That’s going on inside of them You know when we react to it number one, we lower our vibration and we meet that person where they’re at That’s not self loving that’s not self respectful So when we lower our vibration and we meet that person where they’re at what that is telling ourselves is that we haven’t learned how to hold on to ourselves that we haven’t learned how to have self-respect and Not get entangled and everyone else’s business and everyone else’s wounds and everyone else’s defense mechanisms that they’re using, right that we haven’t learned how to properly verbally communicate with others and now we’re going right into my next thing learning how to verbally communicate with others is Literally the most self loving self respectful thing that you can do now We know you’re thinking um, I verbally communicate with people all the time But I’m talking about healthy communication and healthy communication means I’m only going to be responsible for myself So if you’re emotionally getting charged up if you’re you know Dealing with a person who’s really negative and toxic one of the worst things that you can do for yourself is Get entangled in that mess How often have you been in a situation where someone comes in a room and they’re angry, you know, they’re negative they’re trying to put things on you or Project their stuff onto you and you take all of that on and then at the end of the disagreement argument discussion Whatever that person walks away and they feel so much better And they’re actually a little happy now and you’re drained and you’re negative and you’re in a crappy space, you know They transferred their negative energy onto you and you took it you picked it up and you you’re carrying it now That’s not self respect self respect is being able to recognize Is when those things are happening in the midst of an argument in the midst of a discussion in your relationships Knowing when that stuff’s happening right when someone’s starting to project or manipulate or Gaslight or be passive-aggressive and you being able to be a Mature adult and verbally communicate. Oh, I see you’re doing this. You must be going through something right now I’m gonna give you some space. I’m not going to engage with someone who’s being disrespectful or someone who’s being, you know, emotionally abusive or rude or inappropriate and you Disengage from the conversation you remove yourself from that space showing self-love that’s showing that you have control over yourself that you’re not going to just react to every little thing that someone does to you and That’s self respect right there That means that you love yourself enough to not just let your emotions take over and get riled up in a situation that you know how to hold onto yourself create that bubble and leave a situation or a Disagreement or an argument if need be and verbally communicate with that person what it is you’re doing why you’re leaving this situation I get questions often from people that say well if I leave isn’t that given the silent treatment to it isn’t that passive-aggressive? It’s only Passive-aggressive and really giving some someone the silent treatment when you don’t verbally communicate, right? So if you just shut down and all of a sudden the silent treatment happens all of a sudden you’re being passive-aggressive Or you’re trying to like make someone feel guilty for something and being manipulative. That’s completely different But if you tell someone hey, look your behavior I find it to be really rude and inappropriate And I’m not gonna engage with you when you behave like this and then you walk away The next thing is you have to learn how to set boundaries This is something that I know a lot of people struggle with but you have to number one know What’s acceptable and what’s not acceptable behavior in your relationships? And so learning what self respect is? Like I said in the beginning is learning about yourself learning. Who are you? What do you need in relationships? What do you deem disrespectful? So in order to learn how to set boundaries? You have to know like, okay? Well, what do I need out of a relationship? How do I want to feel? What do I think is rude? What do I think is inappropriate behavior? And you have to set that standard and you have to able to verbally communicate that with whoever your partner Coworker friend cousin niece doesn’t really matter now with learning to set boundaries. It’s sometimes it’s not even really setting the boundary it’s learning how to enforce it and I think enforcing boundaries sometimes is really difficult for people because enforcing a boundary basically means that you’re enforcing a consequence that hey I Asked you to do this and I find this rude. I find this disrespectful. I’ve asked you a lot of times I’ve given you chances And not only is this something that you’re not even working on you keep actually doing the thing that really hurts my feelings and so Setting what is the consequence for that behavior? It’s really just like having a child It’s the same, you know, you teach people how to treat you by what you’ll tolerate So if you keep basically saying okay, I’m enforcing boundaries I don’t like this behavior, but you keep putting up with it and you don’t maybe leave a relationship Then you’re basically stating that their behavior is okay because I’m not gonna do anything about it that I’m still dealing with it So if you’re dealing with it, then you’re telling that person Not verbally, but you’re telling that person that their behavior is okay, and that’s not a person that respects themselves so the last thing that I want you to really really consider in this video is Your self-talk is everything the the words that you say to yourself on a day-to-day basis have such a huge impact on every aspect of your life and I sometimes Don’t think that people you know we work so hard in our jobs and we work so hard with our families and our children and we give and give and give To people that learning how to give to yourself and focusing every single day on what is my inner? conversation what are the things that I’m telling myself on a day to day basis and It’s definitely work in the beginning but when you focus on okay? I’m gonna focus everything I have on learning how to really love myself on learning how to have great inner conversations with myself and Not letting that ego kind of run the show for majority of my day at the beginning. It really takes practice It takes dedication But I promise you and I say this often and I real Really Nina the more you do it the easier it gets so every single day focus on like, okay What are the things and I need to be giving myself in order to learn how to have healthy? Inner dialogue and really learning how to create that bubble These are all things that as you start learning this stuff and do this stuff You will just undoubtedly have self-respect because you’ll learn you’re learning how to really love yourself So, I hope that that has helped you guys. If you have any comments or questions, please leave them down below Don’t forget to also like this video and I will see you next time

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100 thoughts on “Teach People How you Want to be Treated! | Stephanie Lyn Coaching

  1. Thank you so much!!! This is life changing💚💚💚💚💚 I came across this video at the right time!!!

  2. Hi Stephanie, I just want to say again how much your videos have helped me. I could almost cry typing this, but I feel like whenever you make these videos I am talking to a friend. Thank you for all you do.

  3. Why in the world was I not subscribed to this woman??? Learning to respond and not react is the little nugget that's going to change my life!! Because I've ALWAYS reacted!! Man this video's content was needed!!

  4. I wish people would ask for subscribers and likes AFTER they present their video…if the content is good, I’ll subscribe and like!

  5. Could you talk more about dealing with discomfort inside when we start to do this? I always cave or just feel really bad because of this feeling even if I teach these lessons at first..

  6. Hi Stephanie, last week I was confronted with the anger of my narc boss. I carried it the whole weekend like a burden, didn't know what to do with it and how I could help myself. You just gave me a clue how to handle this and immediately I felt a big relief in my body and mind. Thank you so much.

  7. Mine is speaking up in the moment.

    I don’t do it because I get angry and have outbursts.

    I’m working on the communication skills of how to say things appropriately.

    With that I think my confidence will build to consistently speak in the moment in a meaningful and respectful manner. Because my goal is not to cut people down but rather to defend my boundaries.

  8. My boss is disrespectful I didn’t even realize it that I had just started yelling at him he went and got another employee😂😂 Like that person was gonna jump me or something please! Now I just ignore his narcissist behind until I find another job. Sometimes the best thing to do is ignore an idiot before you get to the point that you want to 🥊 in the face. Use one word answers when people are trying to make you angry and you give them blank facial expressions no eye contact and one word answers they get the message and go away. Well it works for me anyway.

  9. I don’t like the tittle because you should never focus on teaching others to respect you. Just nee to focus on loving yourself.

  10. Self respect is about figuring out what you will accept and what you won’t. No good reason to accept being dissed on,treated rudely or ignored.

    Set boundaries,enforce them and don’t back down when certain people push back.

  11. It’s an intuition thing. I am like lightning speed when I’m being disrespected. I know immediately because of a past relationship. I address it ASAP! Usually get rid of the person if they do not want to fix this.😊

  12. Ladies remember putting yourself first mans being single much longer than expected! Don’t put up with classless and disrespectful behavior bottom line! Thank you Stephanie. You are very intelligent! 😊

  13. This is such a useful video. I learn a lot from watching this one. But it is difficult to say no and enforce boundaries,

  14. People who have personalitie problem they don’t respect people they only things you can do is stay away from them

  15. Hello Stephanie what's your advice for dealing with aggressive people ? I would like some tips about this please.

  16. Complainers are not always 100% perfect. We should always check ourselves too. In marriages or relationships, its what you give that you will get back, we all are human. Also, women should stop dating under age guys. Under age guys likes cheating and they have no respect or regards. You can't be 50 years or 47 of age and you want to date or marry a boy of 27/30. Your ideology and his can't be the same.

  17. Steph a cool read .exploter trixter family wrecking leo and sagitarious got a triple dose of punk low life treatment with the truth not lies ..look at the chump and the hoe . look at the humiliation i shoved up there asses ..it was important …this application ..i use many and challange u stephanie in a professional way ..i will not strong arm you like the low life punks you employ …i was tought sevral styles. From psycologists for police and fire …my twist is unsound yet the truth brings the truth. ..im so happy to see dope hoes defeated ugly mug that no dollar sign can fix ..ya got that

  18. You are so Pretty, and yes' im sure youve heard that for most of your life but its true.. inside out i believe this to be true xx

  19. Hi 👋🏽 I’m married to a toxic husband. It’s driving me crazy! We are raising our grandkids and I’m too old to go through this with him! It’s like yo-yo! My concern is my grandkids both girls are 5yrs old and I love the school here! He argued over small things and he wants a devorce! He say I’m soo disrespectful and ungrateful. It’s like wat is Wrong with him! He stay gone every day and some days he spend the night! I hate his personality and his ways!!! Help!!!

  20. I've learned nothing from your video
    You're just saying things we all already know
    What we really need is step by step instructions on how to set boundaries how to respond to manipulative ppl etc

  21. I said no to someone who I always say yes to and I stood my ground. I’m so proud of myself. I still at moments feel guilt but I don’t regret saying no. I hate when people don’t take my no as a no. I feel like I have to justify myself every single time. It’s so annoying. I’m starting to say no without reason. Respect the fact that I said no and find new plans.

  22. Hi! Awesome video! I am dealing with an extremely narcissistic mom – who yells when she communicates and never says sorry and when my brother is around is really mean to me and gets jealous of him and I having fun. And she is super hard to deal with when we are all together. Its a vicious pattern. Lots of gaslighting..she does not like my dad and so takes out that resentment on me. She is kind person but can be very toxic for me. What do I do?

  23. Wow Stephanie your so on point. I so appreciate your words of wisdom. I have a family member that perfectly fits the description of a manipulative controlling person that you talk about. I was so desperate in learning how to deal with this person that I searched dealing with manipulation and control and your videos came up. I just want to say that so far I've only watched a few of them but they are all so helpful. Thank you so much for sharing and I look forward to watching more of them.

  24. This is my goal! I am listening to this video on a daily basis, reminding myself of all of your great points. I am starting to feel such a peace inside, knowing that this is my goal, and I can reach it if I just keep coming back to these actions. Thank you.

  25. Some people cannot be taught to respect beacuse some people dont know what respect is, and they dont even respect them self.
    Sometimes the parents dont teach tjem at home what respect is. Analyze and idetify those people early and know that eventualy they will disrespect u. What i do? I identify you as desrespectuful, i will desregard u like u dont exist and i wont even deal with u. U can have respect without trust, but never trust without respect.

  26. Hi first time subscriber stumbled upon this video. Just broke up from 27 yr relationship although we still talk. I have been battling him respecting me and my boundaries and being there for him but again within my acceptable limits. I listen to this video and the things u mentioned I have been trying to get him to understand my limitations. I sent video to him and he listened and now understands me and apologized and realized he has some self control and behavior issues he needs to address. Thank u for doing his video! 🤗

  27. Me::: “ hello there …. I am Gods Queen from hevean …”!!!

    Interviewer:::: so how do we treat U …?????

    Me:::” I am not here to teach u that … !!!!!

  28. Thanks for saying that it’s harder to enforce the boundary than setting it. Just want to say you look so pretty today. I love the colour of your turtleneck against your hair and your matching lip colour.

  29. An adult who values morals does not have to be taught how to respect another. People within a society cause others to be disrespected for their lack of self control and puppeteering.

  30. Abusive people will never give up neither if we enforce the boundaries, as they are too bad and egocentric and ignorant, they are always convinced to be right, ur no will make them even more hungry to us, only If the police of our country can help us, the problem can be solved.

  31. "You teach people how to treat you by what you'll tolerate''
    Well noted
    I will teach people as my children the way I want to be

  32. Again, one of the things I still learning till today is
    if you can respect yourself first, then people will automatically respect you since you knew how to stand up and speak up for yourself

  33. iluvit! Presenting this material is your art form. In other words, you are in your zone while communicating. That is why you have 140K+ subscribers. Your rhetoric on the subject is clear, concise and deftly pointed to make sense and speak to your viewers on more than just an informational level, you are able to reach the heart because you share your ideas with heart. Bravo!

  34. you are smart and hot. some people look better without clothes than with clothes and some people look better with clothes than without clothes and i bet you look better without clothes because you wont let me but i wont see you naked ill just use my imagination.

  35. A good example to teach people to respect you is if you invite people over you should keep your house clean. I know when i get low vibes in life i might lwt my place get messy when im down. If your house is messy your not reapecting yourself and if people come over and your not reapecting youself they probably will think thats a joke and not respect you. Like they will throw garbage anywhere or walk in with their shoes on. If your house is clean than you have more respect for yourself so people will see that and have mpre respect when they come to your house not to be messy.

  36. Thank you Stephanie! Wonderful video — zero emotional reaction is the key along with boundaries ❤️❣️💛❣️

  37. Changing my people pleasing ways is an important part of my healing from abuse both from my own self sabotage and the manipulating romantic partner I've been in a decades long relationship with.
    Boundaries were no longer respected and a loving respectful relationship just a fairy tale.
    Perfect timing has been my friend today. I found this video in my feed and find it to be appropriate information for my current situation.
    I'm grateful to have found it, thank you.

  38. Learning how to be in touch with yourself so you are going to have the self respect furthermore to know who you are and what you really need from the relation. the person who does everything is required from him through the others, with that as if he allows people to manipulate him and walk all over him
    Learn to invest into people as they invest into you, when we meet new people I won't give all myself to you. learn how to avoid react to the others emotionally. Healthy communication means to take care for your own advantages initially. Disengage from the conversation with whoever is emotional abusive. I am not going to engage with you as long as you keep at behaving like so. You teach people how to treat you by accepting thier misbehaviour even it wasn't directly. Having inner conversation with yourself, what is the things do I need to give to my self to learn how to obtain a healthy conversation with people?

  39. What also really helps is being able to explain yourself and your actions. Say, with a boss who, like a lot of bosses, finds things 'wrong', does not gather all the facts, and makes negative assumptions.

  40. Hi Stephanie! This video was great. I sent the link to my daughter via text message. I was wondering how my daughter can communicate to her boss how to treat her. Do you have any videos on that subject?

  41. You have helped me so much. Your love of helping people see their worth, educated advice and empathy are beautiful. You helped me see myself again. Thank you from the bottom of my heart.

    Aaron

  42. me personally leave the job for a better one.. and leave the moron partner for a better one.. gain skills to set boundaries .. it all depends on the person who is disrespecting you. .. had this guy at work so demanding and i just faced hime sucked up and bought donuts hate doing this stuff but it works . i work with people so what can we do but survive suck up and look for better job better people or start your own biz

  43. Thank you. I don’t think I could have learned this in therapy. Please keep posting more videos on settings boundaries. They are very helpful

  44. Any chance you're not attached, looking for a good man and live in Los Angeles? I'd like to buy you coffee. I like a woman with good boundaries. I find this very attractive.

  45. Well I agree with the advice in general. However if you aren't, let's say, entirely straight. Then you have a different verbal approach after which it somestimes feels like people still go like 'nâh I don't care'. Because in my experience you aren't a full person in their (slightly more lower class) eyes whatsoever anyway.

    So, in short, thanks for the advice. But it still isn't entirely helpful. Especially when no ones speaks out except for a girl who actually simply making it worse by traiting you by claiming, in the heat of the moment, that you are biased.

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