Tea Consent (Clean)
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Tea Consent (Clean)

If you’re still struggling with consent,
just imagine instead of initiating sex, you’re making them a cup of tea.
You say “hey, would you like a cup of tea?” and they go “oh my god, I would LOVE a cup of tea! Thank you!” then you know they want a cup of tea.
If you say “hey, would you like a cup of tea?” and they’re like “um I’m not really
sure…” then you can make them a cup of tea or not, but be aware that they might not
drink it, and if they don’t drink it then – then and this is the important part –  don’t
make them drink it. Just because you made it doesn’t mean you are entitled to watch
them drink it. And If they say “No thank you” then don’t
make them tea. At all. Just don’t make them tea, don’t make them drink tea, don’t
get annoyed at them for not wanting tea. They just don’t want tea, ok?
They might say “Yes please, that’s kind of you” and then when the tea arrives they
actually don’t want the tea at all. Sure, that’s kind of annoying as you’ve gone to
all the effort of making the tea, but they remain under no obligation to drink the tea.
They did want tea, now they don’t. Some people change their mind in the time it takes
to boil that kettle, brew the tea and add the milk. And it’s ok for people to change
their mind, and you are still not entitled to watch them drink.
And If they are unconscious, don’t make them tea. Unconscious people don’t want
tea and can’t answer the question “do you want tea” because they’re are unconscious.
Ok, maybe they were conscious when you asked them if they wanted tea, and they said yes,
but in the time it took you to boil that kettle, brew the tea and add the milk they
are now unconscious. You should just put the tea down, make sure the unconscious person
is safe, and this is the important part again – don’t make them drink the tea. They
said yes then, sure, but unconscious people don’t wanttea.
If someone said yes to tea, started drinking it, and then passed out before they’d finished
it, don’t keep on pouring it down their throat. Take the tea away and make sure they
are safe.  Because unconscious people don’t want tea. Trust me on this.
If someone said “yes” to tea around your house last Saturday, that doesn’t mean that
they want you to make them tea all the time. They don’t want you to come around unexpectedly
to their place and make them tea and force them to drink it going “BUT YOU WANTED TEA
LAST WEEK”, or to wake up to find you pouring tea down their throat going “BUT YOU WANTED
TEA LAST NIGHT”. If you can understand how completely ludicrous
it is to force people to have tea when they don’t wanttea, and you are able to understand
when people don’t want tea, then how hard is it to understand it when it comes to sex?
Whether it’s tea or sex, Consent Is Everything. And on that note, I am going to make myself
a cup of tea.

About James Carlton

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100 thoughts on “Tea Consent (Clean)

  1. My best friend and i saw this in class (Health) today. When he mention somethin at the end of video.. We both just died right there XD

  2. I agree this is a great analogy and should be shown several times through out middle and high school.. So many times this has happened and people also to realize that date rape is rape it dont matter that it was someone you have been with before .. and that YES this includes if a wife/husband/girlfriend/boyfriend says NO the husband/wife/boyfriend/girlfriend MUST respect that!!

  3. What if they say they want tea, you make them tea, they happily drink it, then they say you forced them to drink it? WHAT THEN???

  4. The way I see it, anyone who doesn't understand consent, or doesn't even care about it, won't benefit from this. Which is sad, though.

  5. This completely minimizes sexual assault. These are adults and don't need 6 year old analogies. The voice over was so casual; almost lighthearted. Twenty five percent of young women will be assaulted. Let's send a STRONG message to the criminals. If they're unconscious don't make them TEA? THIS is the video you use? I'm horrified.

  6. The one thing this video doesn't address unfortunately is how common it has become to accuse someone of rape AFTER they have given non-alcohol/drug induced, enthusiastic verbal consent, never once changed their mind in the middle, continued all the way to the end with fantastic, satisfied verbal consent….and then "regretted" the consent given the night before and charging someone with rape….the mind-bending femi-nazi agenda classifies this as rape….and if that's the case, the whole "consent" thing is pointless and worthless because it means NO ONE is safe…..ever….even if they get verbal consent….BS!!!!!

  7. it is so much stupid. fuck, this sooo much stupid. okey, how about money from man? about work. about tips. why sex so different and just about girls. so stupid.

  8. It's sad that most people have become so against the concept of abstinence, that a video like this needs to be made to explain, "Yes means yes, and No means no."
    I hope this made things clearer for the people who need it clarified, at least.

  9. Every one going to college should watch this – everyone in high school should have watched this.

  10. Omg! Really? Even if a person asked for tea and was literally begging for tea and going on and on about how bad they wanted and needed tea and then said “you know what? I dont want tea now.” And i made them the best fucking tea ever guess what? THEY ARE FUCKING DRINKING THE TEA! Every last fucking drop of it too!

  11. Also how the fuck did the person become unconscious within the time to make some tea? Was Bill Cosby making the tea or somethung? Because I think this is more important an issue now over whether a person still wants tea or not.

  12. weid analogy. if you dont want tea and I do and I drink my tea is that the same and just masturbating in my living room with friends over?

  13. Yeah, yeah, yeah. This is all so easy to understand. Here's the thing though, when will we start requiring women to provide something beyond just their word when they accuse someone of rape? I mean, can't we at least run women through lie detector tests when they're accusing someone of rape? Because women are fully capable of lying and they lie just as often if not more than men. So someone's word never has and never will be good enough evidence that they were raped.

  14. My sister made applesauce at like 10 pm and tried to make me eat it even though I didn't appleauce nor had I asked for it. So I showed her this video and told her to replace tea with applesauce.

  15. Some nasal-voiced guy with a smug 'funny' tone hiding what is really a preachy moralistic lecture using a silly analogy to sex– and this gets presented in classrooms? How condescending—or I guess how pathetic and panic-stricken about the body we are as a culture.

  16. Saying Yes to the tea, enjoying it when you get it. Later on being regretful because the person made tea for someone else too, doesn’t mean you didn’t want the tea in the first place.

  17. Move that in time a bit.. you make tea, they sip, and spit it out, and now yoy can go to jail because they didnt like the taste. Oh well…

  18. I seriously came here looking for tips on tea etiquette and when I started watching I skipped 7 seconds into the video. It took me longer than it should have for me to realize that this had nothing to do with tea.

  19. hahahahaha. I am dead so please do not pour tea down my throat. I came across this video as I am taking a course in the history of sex, gender, and sexuality in the Unite States. The class is online and it has been really interesting. This video is in fact the very last assignment before my final. If I learned anything from this intense 4 weeks course is that you do not pour tea down people;'s throats,,,,specially unconscious one. hahahahahah

  20. Dumb. There are a lot of reasons why it's dumb, but I'll just point out one that you should know, and it probably has implications for most other permutations of this argument:

    All Analogies Are False.

    Yep. That's the reality. Why? Because no two things, events, thoughts – No two things in the real world are identical. Thus, all analogies are false at least to some extent, and often to a very great extent.

    A thousand years ago, or three thousand, analogies were a mainstay of the teachers, mystics, gurus, charlatans. The common folk could understand well crafted analogies that suited their level of intelligence and education, and hardly anyone was smart enough to know the inherent flaw. But, now that we have advanced a little in the sophistication of our logic, there are better ways to make a point.

    Doesn't stop the manipulators and flim-flam people from using analogies, though.

  21. Doods you are missing the point
    The point is to not force people have sex with you
    Or any other kind of relationship
    They're not teaching you 'bout tea manners

  22. This is crazy, confusing, obfuscating, tedious, repetitive, divisive garbage that ultimately undermines the very concept it purports to advocate.

  23. Also don't have someone pay for your tea knowing full well you won't drink the tea with them. Buy your own tea if that is the case.

  24. If i made tea, and you said you wanted some. but then after i make the tea and you changed your mind, i'm throwing it in your face OwO

  25. Is drinking tea*

    "Imagen tea is like sex"

    Spits out the tea*


  26. We watched this today at school. It was supposed to be a serious discussion about body awareness. The kids and I were laughing hysterically the whole time XD

  27. If someone asked me to make tea, they are drinking the tea regardless as to whether or not they want it anymore.

  28. I love how he used tea to explain how consent work it just makes it so clear. No one can not understand this or say "but"… Well done video!!

  29. Females are playing by a different strategy. It's yes to the tea and Thank-you….Then shortly after they regret drinking the tea. And contract the police saying you made them drink that tea. NO JOKE!!!

  30. I appreciate the effort the makers made into trying to educate people on consent but unfortunately consent is not always as simple or black and white as people make it out to be.

    There are a lot of areas that are gray. For example, there are situations where someone may say yes but their body language tells you a different story. Or on the flip side, they may say no but they're bodylanguage and cues were giving a different message.

    Or when it comes to alcohol, obviously you shouldn't fuck someone that is unconscious because they cannot consent. But what if both people are drunk and they had sex? Is that rape? And if so, who raped who? And is it always rape if you have sex with a drunk person? I mean many people would say yes because their judgment is impaired but you can still suffer impairments to your judgment and body even when your blood alcohol level hasn't exceeded or even reached .08 BAC.

    There's a lot of gray areas that people aren't addressing and teaching consent as something that never has any gray areas will do more harm than good in my opinion.

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