Student Suicide | Real Stories
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Student Suicide | Real Stories

My heart was pounding, like… It was like I had been electrocuted
or something. I was so tense. They told me to smash the door down
and get in there. And then it got really scary. When I got the inkling that
something was wrong, I just tried to call her, and call
her, and call her, and call her. I must have called her about
50 times. He says, “Are you the biological
mother of Stefan James Osgood?” “I don’t know how to tell you this, “but your brother isn’t alive
any more.” “I’m sorry to tell you,
but Lucy’s dead.” Andrew was my role model
more than you were. Sorry, Ryan! He was pretty much everything
I wanted to be. I literally thought I was going
to be the brother of the future best scientist or…
Some Nobel Prize winner. He would do something amazing, yeah. I did actually think he would win
a Nobel Prize. He probably would have. He might have done. Telling my children that their
brother was dead was horrendous. My boys, my two boys are always
going to be children whose brother
killed themselves. That’s hard. I met Andrew on my first day
of school. Once we were in sixth form, he was
probably my closest friend by then. He was always up for having
a good laugh, coming up with pretty ridiculous
things to say, which you wouldn’t expect
when you first meet him. He was completely unassuming,
he had no ego to him. But you could tell just from
speaking to him that he was extremely intelligent. Around 335,000 teenagers in England, Wales and Northern Ireland have been
getting their results today. Oh, my God! I can remember A-level results day
ridiculously well. Actually, we were being filmed
that day for a news programme. Oh, I’m so proud of you! The year before us at school, no-one
had gone to Oxford or Cambridge. I saw Andrew for about
three seconds, and we both just nodded at each
other, like, yep, we did it! No low grades for Andrew Kirkham – he got four A-stars,
and seemed stunned. I don’t know,
I haven’t really taken in all these words on this paper yet! Yeah. And where is it you want to go
and what do you want to do? Physics and philosophy, at Oxford. Andrew and his friend Effie both arrived at Oxford University
in autumn of 2012. When he had his matriculation,
he looked so smart. And I remember seeing the picture
and just laughing because I’d never seen him look
that smart before. But, yeah, he was sending me
messages like, “I’ve been looking on YouTube “how to tie this bowtie
for half-an-hour, “I’ve lost my shoes.” “Can you help me?” basically,
“I’m in trouble.” So, yeah, he was enjoying it. I did see Andrew in the first week outside a club,
which just blew my mind, because I’d never seen him clubbing
before in my entire life. I was Andrew’s first girlfriend. I actually felt that he was
my soul mate. I loved to brag and tell them, tell people that I had a boyfriend
who went to Oxford. I still do that sometimes, actually. The first thing he said to me where
I was like, “Whoa, that’s not OK,” was when he said he’d done
two all-nighters in a row. I was like,
that’s sleep deprivation, you’re going to feel really bad and it’s going to really mess
with your head. I think he was under a new level
of pressure that he wasn’t able
to completely overcome. And I think that was like
the first time he was, like, I don’t know if I’m at this level, I don’t know if I’m good enough to carry on doing this
and succeed at it. It’s amazing how quickly Andrew
went down, it really is. And I don’t know when it began
to fall apart, but it seems that it happened
very quickly. Unknown to Andrew, his friend Effie was also struggling
with university life. Once you get into somewhere
like Oxford, admitting that you don’t want
to be there, and leaving, is the most horrendous
thing in the entire world. There was this pressure from
the university, from, you know, society as a whole, to stay there. And I got myself into such a panic
and such a state over it. I remember saying to my mum, “I can’t do this any more,
I need to go home.” We’ve got a missing diary! And 2013, which is really
interesting, is…, that big. That’s all it is, because it was
such a bad time for me. And literally, this is how bad
I thought it was. “I’ve fucked up my life,” um, “It doesn’t mean I have
to continue like that.” And that was in June. I actually haven’t read this back
in a long, long time. Andrew returned home that summer, determined to continue
with his studies. When we came back in the summer
for summer holidays, our family and his family had
a big barbecue at theirs. He was happy that he’d finished his
first year of university. But he wasn’t quite as enthusiastic
about his exams, certainly. I think he felt to himself, anyway, he hadn’t done as well as he thought
he might have done. When do you go from being sad
to depressed? And, to this day, I have no idea
when that point is. It’s not like you can pick out
people from a line and say, well, these ones are going to commit
suicide in their lifetime. It could happen to
literally anybody. OK, um, this is my ALS
ice bucket challenge. ALS, also known as motor neurone
disease in the UK. He said, “I want to go to
Aberystwyth University.” I think it was the surfer culture
that he wanted to be a part of. Anyway, he was brilliant at
snowboarding, brilliant at surfing, brilliant at skateboarding,
and I think he just thought Aberystwyth would be
a massive party, and surf party, that’s what
I thought he thought. Cool. Let’s go. Stefan did have a lot of
friends, yeah. Stefan just knew a stupid number
of people. He was just really funny. He just was a big character. He was my best friend. Every single night out with him
was brilliant and hilarious. He’d just do random stuff. Dance crazily than everyone else. He’d be more up for doing
that mad shot challenge that everyone was trying. He would always, always be the one pushing for people to have more fun
than they were having. So, this is a cheeky little
recorded message for Flopsy. He turned into my friend
more because he was honest with me. I just want you to know that you
suck, and I hate you, like, loads! Any time that I was feeling like
I had no energy, he’d bring all of his energy. I actually love you
and this is all just hate! We’d become, yeah, very close. Huh? Fist bump to the camera! Ooh! Ha-ha. There were two sides to Stefan.
There was the happy-go-lucky side… And then there was
the very intense side of him where he was very serious
about things and very quiet, and very introspective. He told me he had a history
of depression. He had quite a lot of scars
on his arms. And I remember… I noticed them
and never wanted to ask. And then, I think he brought it up
and I said, “Oh, I didn’t notice,” which was a bit of a lie,
because I had noticed. But, um, and so he told me then. When he was about 14, 15, it started
with anxiety attacks. He would withdraw
and go into himself, and he wouldn’t talk about it. Um, and then it would pass
and he’d move on. In March 2016, Stefan was approaching
his final exams at Aberystwyth. I think he was worried that he
wasn’t going to pass his degree, he wasn’t going to pass his finals,
and they were impending. He’d also spent all his rent. He got a letter saying
that, you know, action was going to have to be taken
if it didn’t get sorted out soon. I think uncertainty bothered Stefan
massively. And I think he was also tired
of his depressions, and tired of carrying them and
hiding them and not showing anybody. So, I think… ..a mixture of uncertainty,
fear of failure, and… he just didn’t did want to be
a burden. On the night of Stefan’s death, Clarissa dialled in for their usual
evening Skype. I spoke to Stefan for probably about four hours on Skype. We were watching House at the time. We’d each have Netflix up
and have each other on Skype, and we’d order Chinese
at the same time, and see whose would arrive first. Me and Stefan were just
having a normal catch-up, as far as I was concerned,
and that’s what it seemed like. Stefan and Clarissa had been
planning to move in together once his exams were over. I was talking about, um… ..when Stefan was moving
to Bristol, er… and about work, and stuff like that. And he said, “Oh, don’t worry,
everything’s going to be OK.” I think at the point where we had
that conversation, Stefan already knew what he was
going to do. I don’t know whether, at that point, he knew he was going to do it
that night. Um, but I think he knew
he was going to do it. Stefan sent me a message on Facebook at about four o’clock in the morning
saying, um… ..”I love you and I always will,
and I’m sorry.” As far as I’m aware, it happened some time
fairly soon after that conversation. At about nine o’clock
in the morning, there’s a knock at the door. And there’s a policeman. And he says… God, those words. ..”Are you the biological mother
of Stefan James Osgood?” I just, oh, shot to my feet,
and I said, “Yes, why? “Why? Is he all right,
is he all right?” I don’t know whether I felt it
straightaway, but I had a horrible feeling,
and I thought, “Oh, God.” And he said, “I’m so sorry
to tell you “that he’s passed away
this morning.” I put down the phone and went and sat on my bed,
and looked at the floor. Um… And then I think I cried
for about… ..five hours. Um… Yeah, I couldn’t stop. I don’t know why, I really…
I don’t know why he didn’t… ..didn’t tell me. It crosses my mind almost every day
why Stefan did what he did. He was feeling awful about a million
and one different things, and that drove him to what
he was going to do, he was going to take his life, and it’s not OK, because now we can’t fix it. I’m not saying it’s the ultimate
fix, but talking about it… Is a great start.
..helps, yeah, exactly. It’s the best start. And people just don’t want to.
No. This was the night where
she walked into the pub, and everyone just turned around
and was like, “Who’s that?” Because she is, like, the most
beautiful person ever. I remember loads of boys looking at
her, like, coming up to her and, “Who are you?” Trying to chat her up.
She was like, “Get away!” She used to look like
Dora the Explorer. When we were small, we were actually
like worst enemies. I guess I was quite jealous of her
coming into the world and taking all my limelight away. So, it was only really when we got
older that we became best friends. Aah-ha-ha! In September 2015, Lucy began
studying for her nursing degree. Lucy was so excited to do nursing. She was excited to look after
people. Because Lucy, she never really cared
about herself, she cared more about other people. She started the course in September, and she went to a Halloween ball
at one of the clubs, and she met a junior doctor. And they became serious
really quickly. If she got a boyfriend, it was
always something very serious. It would be all or nothing. They were talking about marriage,
they’d gone on holidays together. They were planning on moving in
together. She felt that she’d got her life
planned out. MOBILE PHONE RINGS Lucy was paying her own way
through university, working two jobs to pay the bills. Lucy would do 12 hours at the ward
at the hospital, what she loved. But then she would have to go and do
a shift at a restaurant. Like, really long shifts, six in
the evening until about 11.30, 12 at night. She was just on
a 12-hour shift. That’s not healthy for anyone. She did tell me that she was
struggling. There was just a lot of weight on
her shoulders and a lot of pressure, and there wasn’t much she could do
about it, really. In the spring term of
her second year, Lucy and her boyfriend split up. She was distraught. I’ve never seen anything like it. Because I think she thought she’d
met her dream person, like, they would spend the rest of
their life together. It just broke her. And I think that’s where it all
started to go downhill. I feel like, on top of all
the other pressures, that was the straw that broke
the camel’s back, really. On the day of Lucy’s death,
she met up with a few friends. She’d been socialising
a few hours earlier, and her friends certainly didn’t
think there was anything wrong. There were no warning signals. I think it was something
that happened quite suddenly. I think she went in a dark place. In the final hours before her death,
Lucy sent a text. When I got the inkling
that something was wrong, I just tried to call her, and call
her, and call her, and call her. I must have called her about 50 times without her answering,
frantically. I got a call from my mum’s number,
but it wasn’t my mum, it was a police officer. I decided not to wait for them
to have to break it to me. I just said to them, “Just tell me,
is she dead?” And they said, “Yes.” I just screamed. You know, she did call me and she
did say that she was depressed. So, yeah, I always said, “You can
talk to me about anything.” And she did, and she did. I guess, just, maybe, I don’t know,
I just couldn’t, I don’t know, I just couldn’t save her, I guess. Yeah. I don’t think anyone should have
to go through this feeling, because it’s a dark, dark feeling
of losing your best friend. Especially to suicide. Especially not at this age. How do you cope? Like, what do you do?
You don’t know what to do. In October 2013, Andrew returned to
Oxford to begin his second year. But his friend Effie didn’t return
with him. Here you go. I started seeing doctors and things
over the summer. I basically decided I didn’t want
to go back. I wish Andrew had known about me. I was feeling like this, and Andrew
was feeling like this, and I could have at any point just
gone, “You know what, Andrew? “I’m dropping out of university.
I think I’m depressed.” And that sort of sharing of stuff. If I’d have just done that, maybe
it would have changed things. Still struggling, Andrew only shared
his feelings with one person, his girlfriend Clarissa,
at home in Brazil. He told me that he felt like a fake, and that he was falling short of
the image that people had of him. And he told me he hadn’t been going
to his lectures, and skipping his tutorials,
and he hadn’t been doing any work, and he was just staying in his bed
all day and crying. And he didn’t want to tell
anyone else about his depression because he felt really ashamed. By November, Andrew was falling
seriously behind with his work. His tutor asked a local GP
to see him. His demeanour was neutral
and pleasant. He was not visibly distressed. He didn’t give much away
emotionally at all. I suggested he might want to talk to
the counselling service about it, but he was completely against that. I strongly encouraged him to share
it with his parents, which he, again, flatly refused to do so. Anyone over the age of 18
has the right to say that they don’t want their
parents to be informed. We always ask people about self-harm
thoughts, and I did with Andrew. He said he had
some fleeting thoughts, but would never act on them, and if someone says they will never
act on them, and you check on that, what else can you believe? Andrew was prescribed
antidepressants, and asked to come back for
another appointment. He told me that he really, really
wanted to die, and he didn’t even know any more
if he wanted to get better. Andrew made it very clear that he
didn’t want me to tell anyone. I was afraid that at the moment
I told someone, he would just… ..commit suicide, you know,
that he would feel so ashamed. The night of Andrew’s 20th birthday would be the last time he’d speak
to Clarissa. We laughed and we had, like,
a funny conversation, and we were talking about his friend
who’d come to see me in Brazil. I think we both thought that
when he came to Brazil, after he had spent a month with me,
he would feel better, and he would be ready to go back
to uni and do his work. We said we loved each other. Actually, I think it was the last
message he ever sent me was to say he loved me back. The next day, Andrew was called
to a meeting with his tutor, where it was suggested
he should consider taking a year’s medical leave. It would have been devastating,
absolutely devastating. His dream had crashed. I had an e-mail
from the college dean, saying that he was still worried
about Andrew, and that his tutor had said
that he seemed very distressed. I wish that Andrew
and I had met again, because it’s possible that he may
have been in a frame of mind to reveal his true intent. He had a train ticket
on Monday morning. He’d washed all his clothes. His birthday cards
were on his shelf. It was his birthday on
the Wednesday. He was given this news
on the Thursday. And on Friday, he bought the rest of the things he needed
to kill himself. I hadn’t heard from him
on Sunday morning. And he was going to Brazil
on Monday morning. I sent a text that said
something like, “You’re really worrying me now. “If I don’t hear from you by 12,
I’m just going to come.” I actually at that point
still thought maybe he was asleep on somebody
else’s floor after a party. But as I left the house here, and drove up the motorway, I was… Something felt wrong. Because I got there and there was
nobody at the house. I had a phone call from the dean, who told me to smash the door down
and get in there. And then it got really scary. And then the policeman was looking
at stuff, and then… ..and then we found a package that
had been delivered to Andrew that was actually still just inside,
downstairs. And I said to the policeman,
“What is that for?” And he said people use it
to harm themselves. And then the policeman got this call
on his walkie-talkie. And the message that he’d got was that they’d found a body
in Port Meadow. So they then asked for a photograph. And then, within about 20 minutes, the policeman told me
that he was dead. A student from Oxford University’s
Balliol College has been found dead at a local beauty spot. The area at Port Meadow was sealed
off for much of yesterday… I was sitting in the living room,
she called George in. And then she sat down
on this little bean bag, I was sat down on the sofa, and she said, and I remember
the words exactly, she said, “I don’t know how to tell you this, “but your brother isn’t alive
any more.” The worst part is imagining what you would say to him
and what he would say back. I mean, knowing that he’s not going
to be able to say those things. For me, that’s the worst. Andrew’s brothers, Ryan and George, are leaving to return to university. After Andrew died, one of the major
things that shifted in my whole view of the whole thing was, I should go
to university and everything I do at university should just be
the stuff that I enjoy. See you in… Christmas.
Uh-huh. A successful life isn’t a life where
you’re winning Nobel Prizes and getting hundreds of thousands
of pounds. A successful life is a life
you’re enjoying. Have a lovely year, and enjoy it. Enjoy Freshers. We’re trying to tell people
a little bit about the Stefan’s Socks
campaign today. Stefan used to fence in two pink
socks, and it was his trademark. We wear pink socks because it’s
our way of remembering Stefan and our way of raising money to make sure nothing like this
ever happens again. One of our students tragically died,
died by suicide. It started a massive campaign of
raising awareness for mental health, and it’s about knowing that it’s OK
to not be OK. I think Stefan was very much of the
mind-set that it wouldn’t be very blokey or manly or appropriate
to admit you’re depressed. She thought that she couldn’t
reach out to anyone else, because no-one would be there
for her. I just wish that she knew there were
so many people there who would have been there
for her in, like, two seconds. If you are going through depression,
you just need to tell somebody. I just wish I could talk to her
one more time. You know, look into her face and
see her looking back, really, you know, just living and breathing, even if it was just for
five minutes.

About James Carlton

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100 thoughts on “Student Suicide | Real Stories

  1. The same reason (hurting my loved ones) stopped me, I've actually improved a lot since that low point. Had the rope around the neck and couldn't figure out the best place to tie it to. That was literally 3 days ago so trust me you can weather the storm, and get help, try to find joy in the little things in life. We're lucky to be alive, find peace within yourself and on the other side of the double edged sword unlucky to be burdened with such pain.

    Once you get past your suicidal episode, there is a newfound appreciation, passion and empowerment that I felt came with mine. I really felt like time shouldn't stop for me, I just gotta lay down the path, do the right things, keep fighting. It's hard out here guys. Anxiety/depression can cripple your soul but don't let it consume you completely, try to hang in there and keep fighting, most of all SPEAK TO SOMEONE!!! It's very easy for your mind to play tricks on you, and make your situation feel worse than it actually is, especially the walls closing in on you around you, they're a myth. The mind can be a crazy place sometimes, but honestly you are here for YOU and you only. You need to love yourself and believe in yourself. I believe in you.

  2. One boy at school committed suicide due to bullying. Kids tried to inform about the bullying but they didn't see nothing so they didn't believe it.
    The boy later blew his brain out with apparently his fathers shotgun. Once the school found out the teachers they informed sagged their head in temptation.

  3. Something does not add up regarding Stefan's reason for suicide. I think a few of these people saw red flags earlier on and he seemed to have rather intermate relations with all his friends than his family or girlfriend.

  4. We all need to bring down the importance of 'Grades' & getting into 'Top Universities.' We are turning normal happy people into maniacs.

  5. Idk why ppl say it's ok to not be ok or it's ok to be deprived. Because it's not ok, it's not ok to be depressed this is how ppl kill themselves

  6. When you tell them, they think your in a phase, or melodramatic. Its until you do it, when they start to care…

  7. Anyone that commits suicide will NEVER see paradise. The will fall into the eternal hell committing the exact suicide act. Ungrateful people

  8. Something could have been done to prevent these people from committing suicide! Check on your friends, check on your kids!!! STOP claiming “there were no signs” when i recognized ALL the signs leading to their death! THERE ARE ALWAYS SIGNS!!!! and PLEASEEE check on your happiest acting friends- sometimes they are the one’s fighting the biggest battles within themselves!

  9. I've told my husband multiple times about my depression and suicidal thoughts…he told me to think happier thoughts and to look around at what I have and be grateful.

  10. after my best friend committed suicide over 100 people on Tiktok ( at the time) had commented acting like they was her friend and acted like they cared…It’s not fair on those who have ended their lives for them to feel like no ones there to everyone caring when it’s to late.So many children including people my age are ending their lives because of so not’s horrible.

  11. People just think your a weener until something serious happens
    My friends stopped supporting me
    They stopped telling me certain things they stopped laughing at my jokes started disagreeing on my opinions stopped respecting me stopped respecting my opinions

    Everyone starts saying it's your fault cause you act different
    And I always think why has this to happen to me…

  12. I dont want to die but i also dont wanna live in this world…no ones there to understand me ,my pain. m totally lonely here far away from my home.I came here with my husband but he tortures me everyday,theres no any day i havent cried after my marriage.He kills me everyday by his words which makes me feel like its better to die once rather than dying everyday.My life is full of tears after marriage 😭😭I was a lady who used to say that suicide is done by cowards who cant deal with the things that happen in life but now i come to realise that there comes a stage in life where u have no any other option to do and this thinking dont come all of a sudden but after being broken for so many times.Attempted to do so but always see my mothers face and quit this thinking but its getting so heavy that i cant think of anything else except this😭😭

  13. Death means money. Get to it! More news, more news, more news! More money, more money, MORE MONEY!!!!!!!

  14. It's the constant pressure put on young people – from the first day on, everyone competes with each other. I've been trained to be fearful of failure to a point where the only emotion in my world was fear, failure was unavoidable and the feeling of being a failure made me a depressed, anxious broken ghost of a person. Anxiety was the only thing making me get up in the morning, because I was scared of letting go enough to risk sleeping in, missing classes, being a failure, until i stopped sleeping for days on end. In the end I collapsed. I have no memory of those last days before graduation, and only know I felt so done with everything I just wanted it all to end. Two years later, I am in constant therapy and can't work. Anxiety makes it hard to leave the house – even with very good medication – and the depression is also medicated. Still, I am overwhelmed by everything and my head feels numb and stuffed with cotton – the fear has left an empty core, and all I want is too rest. It's just different types of pressure now, but the pressure has not stopped and still makes it hard to get up every day. I have been at the point where I wanted to die, and I still think about it sometimes, but I am getting better. I still do feel like a absolute failure for putting so many years into my education and now being too broken in the head to make use of my degree. I am afraid I might not ever be capable of functioning in society again, and I am not the only one. Pressure breaks people, and it never ever stops. I just want to have peace and no pressue so I can actually have some rest and lean to navigate the world without constant fear. I can relate to those people who want to kill themselves – sometimes you don't want to die, but you want things to stop pushing in on you. The pressure in our society never ends, and nowhere is the pressure worse than in school.

  15. I always thought i let my dad down bc he basiclly gets mad at me for no reason Sometimes or something i didnt do…When he was done arguing with me…i go to my room…go to my bed…and cry for a whole Hour…But he loves me so much…dats wat he always says…but i dont believe it…to be honest i hate being yelled at…Not always but i sometimes dont wanna live and just commit suicide…But i dont want to bc…I dont wanna leave my whole family…I dont wanna leave my best friends…Most importantly i dont wanna leave my Little brother and my other little brother who will arrive and da 30 of August…But atleast i live in a family who loves me…

  16. Anglo saxon cultures put so much preasure on kids that are studying both in highschool or university that they can barely put up with it. Its a culture problem. Not educating, not comprehending the kids problems, only putting preasure on them and if they fail then just bear the consecuences. Sad. Lucy's mother is the perfect example of a rigid parent that will put all weight on the kid's shoulders and make them be hard on themselves.

  17. 😔 autiusm and mental health increases it more but crappy austim makes every thing worse SUCCDIDE MATTERE !! 😑😑😑😑💪

  18. I cant do this anymore. The only reason im here is because i dont want to hurt anyone. im so tired of being ignored and pretending im okay. im not.

  19. Depression can look like a pity party so leave comment about what help,into each life a little rain must fall. Most people are as happy as they make up their mind to be. Me,i take St. Johns wort if I get to down another supplement is l~Theanine,melatonin helps when you can not sleep.

  20. suicide brings you faster for a ticket for hell , whatver you come across in life , if you do suicide there is no heaven for you , you have no respect for life what sickniss or depressed you have , you are weak person.

  21. i have a boyfriend who is the absolute love of my life. he treats me like gold. then all of a sudden he broke up with me. we didnt talk for 3 days which was the longest we havent talked. later i say him and we both cried and he said it was the biggest mistake of his life and we got back together and it was the best day of my life. a few days went by and he still hasnt talked to me or anyone. the last thing he sent to me was how he loves me and he is nit leaving and that everything will be ok. i believed him. but then i found out he cheated on me. and since i found that out he hasnt talkrd to anyone. and its like he dissapeared. i cant cope anymore. i havent talked to him in over a week and i dont think i can hold on. i want to kill myself more then anything. i opened up to his friend about how i was feeling and he told me to have fun. i cant hold on anymore.

  22. Stress sad fear
    And your family think you are joking
    So yea 😥😥 rip Lucy
    😓😓😓 Finally I work but when remember school time it was worst time of mine

  23. When people have hard times they try to look for help but never have been given any help and they really do not want to kill themselves something dark on the internet or anything else like blackmailers and everything else even depression and things that add to it they can’t take it anymore because first they looked for help and didn’t receive it and they wouldn’t kill themselves for no reason there’s always a reason for people to commit Suicide and that they can’t take it anymore so they do something that they wouldn’t do until someone pushed them to do until they would do it which would be to commit Suicide from depression and other things it breaks my heart to see families go through it 💔💔🙏🙏😭💔💔😭I had tears the whole time I watched this and other families with kids who did have their own problems too when I watched that to every single one of them I burst down into tears 😭💔💔🙏🙏💔💔

  24. Jesus is a friend who sticks closer than a brother. We need more of Him in our homes, our schools, our businesses, and everyday life. Contrary to what most of the world believes, Jesus is the answer to what ails people and society in general.

  25. I have told as many ppl how I feel as I can and I am getting help soon but what if it doesn't work idk if I can do it anymore

  26. The loneliest people are the kindest, the saddest people smile the brightest, and the most damaged people are the wisest. All because they don't wish to see others suffer like they do." -Anonymous

  27. If only people listened and really observed you maybe just maybe most teens won't kill themselves but sometimes even your mother thinks your being a drama queen and tells you don't make a big deal about it

  28. I once told my mother about how sad and lost I was feeling. I remember how devastated I had felt the last months and how badly I was crying when I told her what's going on in my mind. She said she couldn't do much to make me feel better but gave me the advise to seek professional help. The next day she told me that she had seen something about depressed people on TV and how downright ridoculous she think those people are tauntingly laughing. I just couldn't believe what she just said to me and couldn't find words for how much it hurt. It still does.

  29. I feel depressed because of school there’s so much pressure and the teachers don’t care they just give a bunch of long slides to study and say test in a week

  30. i told my mum im depressed kept it to myself for r 8 years until i couldn't anymore and when i told her she told to me to get a grip or go to a mental institute and every day she mocks me telling me im worthless..

  31. Everyone in here that wants good for them selfs then (ISLAM) is the remedy for that, cuz no matter how you feel you know if you take ur own life is a major sin and that what comes after ur death is a million times worse and ask urself this question: DO YOU THINK YOU WAS CREATED FOR AMUSEMENT AND JUST TO LIVE AND THEN DIE AND THAT'S IT??? no, my dear people read before its too late cuz none of us knows when we will die and return back to our Lord and be judged for everything we did in this worldly life.

  32. Yeah..I wonder why Andrew offed himself?…right here in the video his friends and family are actually explaining why without even knowing it…"Yeah Andrew always was so smart,and looked smart"… "We all where impressed he was going to Oxford",…"We could always ask Andrew for help and he had the answer",..more impressed this and so smart that, and always having the answer here and so much status that…I mean how can they not feel responsible for putting him in that suicidal and stressful position…they surely would of known that they told Andrew all of this and he did not want to let them down and disappoint them so it overwhelmed him….my god..what is wrong with people and this shallow status and position crap?…Im telling you ..its all about the money…and Andrew did not want any part of this emptiness…He should not of killed himself though, because life is precious and worth living….because you will never have this experience ever again..might as well make a good run of it and try to be the change you want to see and experience…be your own dream what makes you happy

  33. Get hope for a better, happier life by watching all of the You Tube channel called Handeeman (he is an electrician, who dropped out of an challenging electrical engineering program in Canada because of the endless math problems). He is now happily married, to 'High Carbs Hannah' (the name of one of her channels, about how she lost about 100 pounds by going on a vegan diet and becomming a a vegan chef teacher). They live off the grid in Arizona and make videos teaching others how to do the same. He has bicycled widely in South Asia and made videos about that experience. Hannah has made videos about how she felt better after she quit drinking, smoking, taking Ritalin, and spending time with people who gossiped, etc.. A common theme in the above video is how sleep deprivation and financial stress were definitely contributing factors. There should be a rule in all college, graduate, trade schools that limit the amount of assignments to allow each student about 12 hours off each day for sleep, meals, exercise, shower, laundry, dishes, socializing, time with pets, to lead a more healthy, balanced life.

  34. August 2019 Everyone should 'Dream a Dream' as the 'housewife' who won 'Scotland's Got Talent' sang. 1. The world's top 10 % richest should be taxed to pay for an automatic life long membership to Planet Fitness, for every human all over the world. Every teenager, and any age beyond, could take courses and take tests, to get trained and hired for a variety of jobs and careers at any Planet Fitness. PF should be located on every street corner, in every city, town, and village, all over the world. This would enable anyone to use a full restroom, with access from the sidewalk. Every entry and exit door should have a security camera to make this safe for EVERYONE, at any hour. Each PF should have a gourmet chef managed cafeteria next door, allowing anyone to get three healthy meals or snacks per day. Any age level could train in professional chef courses, all over the world, to work at a Planet Fitness cafeteria, next door to the gym. Each building should have a library and Skype tutorial center dedicated to the use of the book 'The One World School House,' by Salman Khan. He graduated MIT and admits to skipping classes there (by the advice of successful students) to learn more, faster. He wrote this book out of his experience of helping his neice overcome poor results on a math exam, which would have tracked her into low level courses. Khan tested this book in classrooms in schools in Los Altos, near Google Headquarters in Mountain View, California. He was on 60 Minutes, the USA version. 60 Minutes, the Australia version tends to have better segments, worth watching on You Tube. All of the above should be designed by the trustworthy Richard Gage of 'Architects and Engineers for 9 ll Truth' and 'Firefighters for 9 ll Truth,' to make sure every inch is as safe as possible. Friendly interviews are on You Tube, especially their conference in Switzerland. Thank you for reading this carefully, discussing this with your friends, and if you are wealthy, to help make it happen. This world would be a better place if the above students were still here. These ideas, if they were done in time, might have prevented their deaths. These ideas could definitely help prevent the deaths of millions of students in the decades to come; all over the world.

  35. Andrew. What a beautiful man. I am so sorry. We live in a society where it does not feel safe to talk about all of our personal deep needs and wishes. We live locked up in this prison that society has built for us and at some point it becomes unbearable where we want to get out. I had 2 attempts. The third one will happen after my dog. Right now I live for my dog I have to be here for him.

  36. People that commit suicide are very self centred and selfish leaving everyone else in pain and left to pickup the pieces. And don’t tell me I don’t understand because I have suffered depression all my life and feel like I don’t wanna live, but I take action I pray, meditate and write down all the things I am grateful for each day, and do as much as I can to help others. Then I realise it’s not all about me and things are not that bad. Suicide is the easy way out, and I could never leave everyone around me in pain. Nothing stays the same, e=erything changes including feelings and emotions.

  37. Got 87% in my 12th grade
    My medical test is on 25 aug
    The merit is 90% this year
    I am already failure as i failed 2018 medical test
    And again i only improved to 87%
    I just dont wanna to see that disappointment on my father face !
    If i couldnt make it , i am afraid that before seeing this disappointment again i would rather like to kill mysefl.
    I failed in education, relationships, friendships, in everything .
    This time going to fail in life for last time !!

  38. ugh i hate watching this. i can completely relate with these victims. I went to an elite school and i had one very rough semester that i thought i was giong to fail all my classes and just felt like a complete failure and was contemplating ending my own life. the pressure i felt from society and showing my weakness of not being as smart as people thought i was crushed me and made me go into such a deep hole.

  39. Never know what’s happening behind closed doors.

    One thing you can really do is ask how life is,be curious for one another. I always ask my friends how’s life and how are they even if you know that that person might say the same thing but it’s worth asking. Mostly if your their best friend really. Shows that you care

  40. Most people who commit suicide don’t talk about wanting to commit suicide they just do it it’s sad that a lot of people “attempt “ for attention .. we need to love each other. Every single one of us is one bad day away from losing it!

  41. Somewhere there's someone who dreams of your smile,
    And finds it in your presence, that life is worthwhile,
    So when you’re lonely, remember its true,
    Someone somewhere, is thinking of you.

  42. Big ego. Students focus too much on themselves if stop thinking about themselves and they focused on others they would be happier.

  43. Ah yes are we just here to highlight that only “ students “ with “ real stresses “ should new taken seriously ? I laughed when some goodie two shows overdosed on fent cause she just had to smoke weed cause she was “ stressed “

  44. I remember when my only brother committed suicide, been 1 year and I always visit his his grave and chat for and hour or so, I just miss the little talks we had, the laughs we shared, I hope I see him again,

  45. See this is what people need to understand is that when your alive no one notices the change or how your feeling no one even asks u when u drive to suicide that's when people think they changed a lot or I could have done something I'm trying to say that when u see a dramatic change in someone's attitude in a bad way ask them if they need help or get help for that person it would save loads of lives if we all did this #stopsuicidetoday

  46. i wish i could go to school again and have an easier time,
    now im working 12 hours a day. wake up 4 am. work till 6 pm. and then have to go to sleep again once you get home.

  47. i do not understand suicide hotlines, if they truly want to help people they should remove the thing that makes them want to kill them selves. but all they do is "no dont kill youself mkay, suicide bad mkay you have people that care about you mkay"

  48. I am a physics student in the best university of my country…I have been feeling low for I don't know how many years. I used to do well in school, but I became unable to focus and I can barely get out of bed since I started college. There have been moments this year that I thought I could actually end it because the strain seemed useless. It sucks to see enthusiastic students all around me when I just won't feel passionate about what I am doing. People don’t listen when I say I wanna quit my studies, don't take it seriously. And sometimes I think I still want this degree because I don’t want t be judged and considered inferior or an idiot for dopping out, but some days it's impossible to go on. I am ashamed of that. I have never felt like I can talk to somebody about my feelings and thoughts tho. I can't help wondering if I'll eventually end up like one of these people.

  49. You know you got depression when you wake up everyday and straight away a voice tells you are worthless and go die and you are sad the whole day but you don't show it cause you are afraid of being judged by people, life ain't worth living I only live cause I have to for the people around me but inside I'm dieng everyday again and again wish I can sleep and never wake up and the pain stop but ik it won't stop and I can't do nothing about it 🤧🤧🤧

  50. See, I have been professionally diagnosed with social anxiety, regular anxiety, and severe depression. Both my parents said to the doctor "Those aren't real – it's just something people say for attention." After that day, I heard them talking a lot about me; saying how terrible I was and that they wish I wasn't born and everything of that sort. I also have no friends at my school, which is private and everyone knows everyone and everything that they've done. I haven't done anything wrong, but I was a very good student and my father was a teacher; that made everyone hate me.About a year later I was severely anorexic and all the other mental illnesses on top of that with parents still not believing me and hating me and still no friends. I have tried to take my own life multiple times but it never works. I don't know why I said this because I don't want anybody pitying me, i'm just hoping I can help someone by showing them that they aren't alone.

  51. R.I.P. Andrew Kirkham, Stefan Osgood, and Lucy de Oliveira. May you all get to finally be at peace now. What we as a society failed and i want to say that im sorry. All of you sound like you were amazing individuals who deserved the world and more. I wish i could have met you all and say that its alright and that im here for you. Everyone please know that i, here for you and everybody else in this comment section is too you are never alone and that you and your feelings do in fact matter and they always will. Please keep pushing and kick life in its butt cause i granite that its all worth it in the end

  52. when I was nine my auntie killed herself in my house. I didn't see her but my mum found her and I was there when my mum was screaming. I never knew depressed people usually try to hide it. there are people who say they are depressed but then they just boast about it all the time to get attention and I think that's just so disrespectful. I think people need to talk about it, but with people they trust and when the time is right not just casually say it in passing as a joke cause then it just takes away from that fact that someone actually has a serious illness

  53. Me last year :why are you trying to kill yourself to my friend you don't value your life and you'll get over it.
    Me now its different

  54. Too all the people around I send my love……. 🤗🤗… End of the day we are all fighters….. Let's come above our situation… Yes its hard, we need to crawl to reach sometimes.. But we wil one day…. Let's all keep hope… Let's all be happy and make oeolet around us happy.., no judging, no criticism, no resisting, no condemning…… Let's spread positively, also mKe sure we help people around us with out words Nd actions to our fullest potential 😊🙏😊🙏from India

  55. Fighting depression is like fighting a tiger.. But after u have tamed the tiger… U become the tiger who cN fight anything…..

  56. I've had major depression for over 20 years. It seems to get worse with age. What makes it worse is trying to explain it to those that will never understand. Or having to fight the medical system for benefits. I say those with major depression see it has suicide is the lesser of 2 evils feeling like we will have to battle it for the rest of our lives. And yes….the pain of it IS that bad!

  57. I've had eczema since I was born and It has altered the way i look, i have scars all over me, i scratch so much that i bleed and the wounds get infected sometimes, I got picked on in school for it and it hurt so much, I hated myself so much, I failed my GCSE exams and I did so bad in college, I am an academic failure, I am not good at ANYTHING, I have no future, no motivation to get up in the morning,my parents are super religious too and always say that GOD will make things better, GOD seems to be making everything worse, why would he make me suffer like this, I look like a panda on cocaine, words can't describe my hatred for this planet and myself

  58. You tell someone and they think you're just playing the victim or just saying it to cover up for something. Nobody takes you seriously until somethings happened

  59. People need to be concerned and conscious when it comes to a person whos always hyper and trying to be funny and push push push even worse when they go silent suddenly for a while and be more introverted and its like ups and downs with them this can be a bad sign

  60. Suicide is a natural behavior. Some people are too aware of why life sucks. It's not all positive. It's not all love. It's not always the bright side.

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