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100 thoughts on “Preschool Teachers Share Darndest Things Kids Have Said

  1. Preschool teacher here. One of my favs… Me (going around the circle) how are you feeling today? Usual answers happy, sad, tired etc. I get to one child and without hesitation he answers Spicy!…

  2. Okay so I volunteer at the school and after a phonics lesson (whilst the teacher was gone to get the fruit) I decided to ask this bunch of 4/5 year olds what their favourite food is. I got the usual 'chicken' and 'banana' and 'everything' but this one little girl turns to me and says 'YOU. I want to eat you'

    Honestly I found it so funny.

  3. The best thing that I was ever told was I was eating a salad at work and I was the coach for little kids. And this little five year old walked up to me and asked me why I was eating a salad. I told him it was because I like it. He proceeded to tell me that "that's good because women over 50 need more vitamin D in their diet" … I was 22

  4. LOL it's so hard not to laugh at the things kids say! I don't want them to think I'm laughing at them. I mean, I am laughing at them, but knowing that would crush their spirits lmao!!

  5. A family friend of mine was adamant that if she wasn’t going to be a vicar when she grows up she was going to be a zebra. Same hun.

  6. The weirdness of kids is universal. I taught kindergarten in Japan and two boys fought till they cried about whether or not it was raining.

  7. In preschool another girl asked to see my hand and then promptly bit it. When the teacher asked her why she said, very matter of factly, "How else would I know how she tasted?" That stuck with me

  8. I work with a guy who's daughter was & still is a hoot. After my coworker enjoyed a #2 potty break at home one morning, his 4 year old daughter peaked in the vacated bathroom whispering "Toilet? Are you OK?" So freaking cute & knowing her dad–valid question😄😄

  9. Kindergarten:
    I was sewing with a few kids at the table and I was taking over a more difficult part for a girl. While I was doing that, I noticed she was bouncing in her seat. Didn't think much of it. Then she mumbles "man, I gotta take a really big dump after this…". I lost it… and she continued with "… and it's gonna be hard too. Aww maaan!". Me=Dead.

  10. I'm a freshman in high school and decided to volunteer to take care of a group of first-graders along with nine other people while their parents were getting some information on the school. The only two guys who volunteered to help out were sent to take the kids from the library back to the classroom where the rest of us were. So, we waited for about ten minutes, and finally, the group of kids came in. All of a sudden, this one little boy screams at the top of his lungs and says, "IT'S ALL GIRLS!!!"
    I just about died laughing, it was so funny xD
    So, not preschoolers, but I guess first-graders have their moments, too LOL

  11. My child says she’s a potatoe 😭😭😭😭🤷🏾‍♀️🤷🏾‍♀️🤷🏾‍♀️🤷🏾‍♀️🤷🏾‍♀️

  12. Kids say the darndest things, but the thing that adults say to kids are just as weird. I nanny young kids and I had to say the words "my fat tummy isn't a hand warmer" and "stop poking your brother's butthole" in the past week.

  13. I was babysitting my 3 year old nephew who is a sweetheart and it was bedtime. So I go up to him say "ok Derrick it's time for bed." He looks at and says "no thank you." And then he walks of to his cars.

  14. I am a teacher too. I ask one time "waths the thing that you feel that hits you on the face when you run?" And a boy says: a banana on the face…

  15. I have a 3 year old, today while at swimming lessons he told me that he was too wet to keep swimming 😂 kids are weird and so funny ahah.

  16. I substitute taught for a couple of preschool classes during my gap year and the funniest memory I had was when this little boy was playing with this plastic stick (from a pretend smores making kit I guess) and he kept waving it around so I told him "please don't wave that stick around. I don't want you to hit anyone" and literally the minute I finished that sentence he immediately whacked himself in the face…it's how you learn I guess haha

  17. Pre-school sub here. I have rosacea and don't wear makeup, so kids ask me a lot, "Why is your face all red" or "What are those dots all over your face?" I don't really mind, but it is a little annoying when kids I've known a while like to ask over and over to see if they get a different answer.

  18. I work with 1 1/2 to 2 y-o and it’s a catholic preschool so we have kids books about Jesus. One of my kids was looking at a book and goes gasp ITS A NAKE-Y PEOPLE!!! She was talking about Adam and Eve, me and my co-teacher were laughing for a good while because she wouldn’t stop saying it lol.

  19. Ok Soooo I'm the only one who was like wtf?! When the teacher said she takes the boys and girls to the bathroom together?? Which then gave the one young female student opportunity to comment on the little boys penis. As a parent I don't know that I would be ok w that nor that, that is common practice

  20. The mom that was like "I say that" that was a whole mood.

    Also the teacher that said the students share bathrooms.. that's a big ass mf no for me dawg.

  21. My favorite interaction happened with my last pre-k class. I was talking with a few of them about how old the different grownups (parents, teachers, aunts, uncles, etc.) in their lives are and which of them have kids. After I gave them my answers to those questions, one girl said, “you’re 28 and don’t have any kids? That’s sad.” I laughed for the rest of outside time.

  22. El ed major here! One of my 5 y/o students told me the other day that she wanted to be a hospital when she grew up.

    I responded with “do you mean doctor?”
    She replies “No Miss Mary, that’s silly. I will be a hospital”.

    Reach for the stars sweetie. 💫

  23. I love kids, but the infants can be tough. The craziest thing I have seen a child do (2.5 or 3 year old boy) was pull his pants down and just could not wait to go to the bathroom.
    😨 Luckily, I was just a volunteer (at the time) and I didn’t have to deal with accidents! 😃

  24. Me: Oh, my lucky boy, I heard you got a new baby brother
    He, a 4 y/o: oh, yeah, Miss Lana, but actually I asked for a chihuahua. Maybe daddy didn't find one and bring home a baby instead

  25. I was sitting close to a kiddie pool which a mom was in with her 2 small children, the boy (about 4 years old, I guess) says loudly that he needs to pee and the mom says that he needs to get out of the pool. She helps him out and is starting to get the girl out and before they even make it out the boy pulls out his penis and lets the stream of pee rip… right into the pool! Perfect aim, too. 😂

  26. I work with 2 year olds. They say the funniest things. I love going into work every day because of kids. So many funny memories 😂

  27. My god daughter is the worst…I was in the bathroom she banged on the door and said you know stink right and she's 2 I was mad but could not stop laughing

  28. If mommy APPROVED 🤷🏽‍♀️

    R. Kelly Married Aaliyah When She Was 15. Now He's Being Charged With A Federal Crime.

  29. We have coed bathrooms in the 2k when they first start potty training, and that bathroom exchange was so relatable xD

  30. These stories are nothing!! I’m a preschool teacher and have seen and heard waaaaay more. I think my worst horror story is at nap times once, a child took off his pants and underwear and straight up pooped on his cot

  31. The first week or so of preschool my 3 year old at the time would continually tell his teacher “I’m soo hungry… I’m really hungry… I’m VERY hungry right now”(literally me) anyways finally one day he tells her “you know if you just gave me my snack when I asked then I won’t say I’m hungry anymore” his teacher thought it was hilarious.. thank you to all the patient and kind teachers out there ❤️

  32. Things that will happen when you teach preschool and kindergarten kids well at least for me ,but it has been ten years so it might not still be applicable.

    “Calling you “Teacher.” I don’t think I was ever called by my name by any student between the ages of four through six, the older kids yes but not the little ones.

    Telling you every aspect of their life and everyone in their family ,(you just asked what they did on the weekend )

    Tattling for minor infractions but to them it’s a major infraction I once had two little girls fight because they both wanted to be Cinderella (no one wanted to be the stepsisters or the stepmom)

    Cussing little kids cuss I remember a four year old used to drop “F” bombs like they were going out of style,

  33. What up fellow preschool teachers?! Who else has baffled on the daily basis by the intellectual variations between a four-year-old and a five-year-old? They're al so different!

  34. I’ve been a preschool teacher for 10 years so I cannot wait to see what they have to say. Yesterday at work one of the kids told me “If you eat a snowman, you will turn into grass and grow into spiderman” lol I tried really hard to understand the logic behind it. Lol

  35. I remember in pre school there was this round room filled with small toilets for kids, and i had my fave toilet so one day i went there and i saw this other child had just finished using it, i looked down and there was some purple ink, i wanted to tell the teachers but i just thought that peeing purple was o.k. 😂

  36. Not too crazy but one little girl said “Ms. Erika you have a big tummy!” 🤣 I just said “yes good observation.” Lol

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