This has been a good week. Right? I was actually going
to the school, ’cause my son was actually
getting bullied, right? So I go up to the school,
and the craziest thing happened. I get up there,
and the kid’s father’s there. And, um, his father bullied me! You know what I mean? And I remembered this dude. Like, you remember
your school bully? Like, we all do. Like, this dude
beat me up so bad, right, like, his brother jump in
and help me fight him, right? And I’m scared of this dude. And I don’t know
what it is, right? Black parents especially —
my mother was like this. This was her rule. “You be scared of God and me.
Nobody else.” I don’t know
how my mother found out that I was scared
of Joseph Ward. Soon as I come home,
she’s like, “Unh-unh, unh-unh,
unh-unh, unh-unh. We going back to the school.”
And I’m like, “For what?” “No, you gonna fight
Joseph Ward.” And I’m like, “Ma, he real deal. He’s, uh, he a boy-man, Ma. This dude, he crazy!” What’d Ma say?
“He ain’t that crazy.” I’m like, “Ma, please don’t
let me fight this dude. I’m nervous, Ma, please. He beat up
the whole school, Ma.” My mother take me
down to the school, and she gonna have
this little hype talk, right? “Let me tell you something,
Mike Troy. You gonna fight Joseph Ward. ‘Cause if you don’t fight him,
you gonna have to fight me.” Right?
Don’t they scare you with that? And then she ended with this,
“And you don’t wanna fight me!” My mother was wrong, ’cause
I beat the hell out of her. “I’m not fighting him!
He’s a boy-man!” I was like, “Joseph,
hold my bookbag.” I was like, “Hold my bookbag.” I’m not fighting him. You shouldn’t put
that pressure on me! I’m scared!
I don’t wanna fight this dude! So the next day,
Joseph Mother Ward came up to me, right? I’m a minor.
I’m a minor. She did this.
She did this to me. And I was like,
“Oh, Ms. Ward? Wait here.
I’m gonna get crazy. My mother is gonna have
to beat on you!” You know, you get hyped
when you know your mom’s in it. “I’m doing it.
Wait right here. It’s gonna be on.” I get home, I tell my Ma, “Ma, Joseph Mama Ward
did this,” right? My mother lost it. She’s “What?!”
I was like, “Yeah, Ma. I tried to tell her,
don’t mess with Janet baby! I tried to tell her!” We going on down
to the school, right? They taking bets on the fight. Yo, my mom’s a gimme,
gimme, gimme, right? My mother’s stretching. We all there, “Yeah, whatever. She don’t want it, right?”
I’m like, “Yeah, Ma. Calm down, crazy.” Out of nowhere,
Joseph Ward Mother come. You hear this — [thumping] My mother a little woman, right? She’s like, “Yo, who that? Who the — Who the dragon lady
over there… blocking the sun? Who is that?” I’m like,
“That’s Joseph Ward Mother. Get crazy, Ma! Get crazy!” My mother knew her! She turn around,
“Olga, is that you? Olga Ward?” Then she turn right back to me. “Mike, let me
ask you a question. Do I send you
to school to fight? Do I send you?
Do I?” And I’m like, “No.” “I’m sorry, Olga.
Let’s go.” [ Laughter ] [ Cheers and applause ]