Is Taskmaster the Best Student in the Marvel Universe?
- Articles, Blog

Is Taskmaster the Best Student in the Marvel Universe?


LORRAINE: We’re
headed back to school with the best student in the
Marvel Universe, Taskmaster. LANGSTON: And then we
are tackling Titans and homework with the
Jets offensive lineman, Kelvin Beachum, Jr.! Hey, I’m the Quinjet here
to pick you up for school. I’m Lorraine. And my cowl’s in the mail. I’m Langston. And this is Earth’s
Mightiest Show, and we’re headed back to school. Well, we’re not. We’re adults, but
many people are, so why not kick
off with the best learner in the Marvel Universe? That’s right, Lorraine. There is no better
way to get to know one of my favorite–
absolute favorite characters, comic book origins, and a little
you don’t know, Taskmaster. Go forth and be educated. [SWISH SOUND] LANGSTON (VOICEOVER): You
don’t know Taskmaster? Don’t rack your brains. Instead, get ready for
a deadly education. Taskmaster wasn’t always
a mean, old skull face. As a kid, Tony Masters learned
he had photographic reflexes or, more accurately,
the ability to recreate anyone’s behavior,
movement, or even voice after a single viewing. What a copycat! After seeing one pro game,
he became a star athlete– touchdown. [CHEERS] Sure, he could have
used his powers as a hero or a S.H.I.E.L.D.
agent, which he gave a try. But he wasn’t into
working pro bono, and instead chose to become
a bone-faced criminal. Masters began his
villainous turn by studying the
fighting techniques of heroes and villains. At first, he pulled off
some pretty sweet robberies. But why take money when
you can make money? Chasing the big bucks
training criminals, Tony donned a cowl, skull mask,
and fabulous buccaneer boots. As Taskmaster, he set up
academies across the US under various fronts,
like a circus, an institution for
the criminally insane, and a graveyard. Bone-chilling! You get it. Taskmaster has taught
hundreds of henchpeople to hench and
villains how to vile. But he has also taught heroes
for the 50-State Avenger Initiative. Now, that’s academic diversity. But wait, those rad
reflexes come at a price. Sure, Taskmaster can
learn any sweet skill, but his brain can
only hold so much. And eventually, new skills
pave over old memories. This has made him
forget some, uh, pretty important
stuff, like his bank account number, his childhood,
and, you know, his wife. That’s gonna be a fight. But it’s also helped
him hold his own against the Avengers, Daredevil,
and maybe his greatest rival, Deadpool. Whether he remembers
it or not, Taskmaster will sell his services
to the highest bidder. And he doesn’t care if he’s
impersonating heroes, or trying to take them out, just as
long as the check clears because this villain
means business. And now you do know Taskmaster. You’re welcome. You’re welcome now. There you go. I know– you were so
thrilled the whole time. Also, I’m just curious. What makes him your
favorite character? Because he’s not a nice person. Yeah, well, listen–
he is my favorite Marvel villain hands down– A, because his
powers are awesome, the photographic reflexes. You can do that. But also, he’s got
a shield like Cap. He’s got a sword like
the Black Knight. He’s got buccaneer boots
like my boy Cyclops– [LAUGHS]– back in the ’80s. [LAUGHS] He also has a bow
and arrow like Hawkeye. Like, that’s cool! Like, he can fight other
heroes with their skills, embarrassing them. And he’s– I guess
he’s from Brooklyn, so he’s like, come on! [LAUGHS] Get at ya. Get at me. LANGSTON: [LAUGHS] Get
at you, you clown– yeah. LORRAINE: I like how you
give him, like, a Pesci vibe. [LAUGHS] That’s nice.
LANGSTON: Oh, yeah, I see it. LORRAINE: That’s nice.
LANGSTON: Oh, yeah. Well, he’s not
just a great learner. He’s also a really
great teacher, and that’s important because
we are going back to school. That’s right. We are going back
to school, aye. And what would school
be without some sports? Right?
– Sure. Extracurricular
activities, kids– do them. [LAUGHS] Well, listen. Here’s my chat with a
Jets offensive lineman, Kelvin Beachum, Jr. Enjoy. [SWISH SOUND] All right, everybody. I am here with New York
Jets offensive lineman, Kelvin Beachum, Jr.
Kelvin, welcome. What’s going on, brother? Welcome to– to Marvel. So we’re here at
Earth’s Mightiest Show. KELVIN BEACHUM, JR.: Mm-hmm. We always have a
good origin story, so please tell us, what was
your first Marvel memory? I got to go back to– to
early mornings in grade school, being able to catch X-Men before
I actually went to school. You know, I’m
thinking about Storm. I’m thinking about Wolverine. I’m thinking about Beast. Nice. I notice– I’m a big X-Men
fan, if you can tell. I noticed you
didn’t say Cyclops– my favorite X-Man–
– Uh– –Cyclops. You know, the thing is– is– [LAUGHS] –you know, he had some things
going on in his love life that I just couldn’t get around. LANGSTON: Do you mean Wolverine
trying to ruin his man? KELVIN BEACHUM, JR.:
Well, I wouldn’t say that that was the case. I wouldn’t say that
that was the case. – What– what–
– Aw, come on. Are we really gonna–
– Oh, we can’t– – –go there?
– We have to. – Oh, now.
– Is Jean married to Cyclops? I don’t feel she is. [LAUGHS] You don’t feel? KELVIN BEACHUM, JR.: Well,
she may have loved him, or had a love for him,
but I think she was torn. That’s just my perspective. That was a–
that was a great– My perspective. Did you write that
before you got here? – No, I didn’t write that.
– [LAUGHS] You got that– you got
that hot off the press. You know what?
I’ll go back to my– [LAUGHS] –my yarn on my wall of all– [LAUGHS] For our fans out there that
don’t know, what is the purpose of an offensive lineman? To protect the ball. And the ball– that means
protecting the quarterback, protecting a running
back, providing stability for the team. So a very important
position, to say the least. Now, if you give one
of your teammates– one of your fellow
linemen– the day off, and you get a Marvel
superhero to join you on the field, who do you pick? You think about– Beast– Beast was a brute,
but at the same time, he was very cerebral. He’s strong enough to be able to
handle what we need to handle, but he’s also smart enough
because offensive linemen do need to be smart. LANGSTON: Mm-hmm. So it’s certain
people that need to have multiple abilities. You’ve got to be able to–
to con somebody into– to what you want them to do. You think about Thanos– he’s somebody that has been
able to make a name for himself in many ways.
LANGSTON: I would say so. I mean–
KELVIN BEACHUM, JR.: [LAUGHS] LANGSTON: –because
he’s– he’s out there. He’s on that young
upstart Thanos. I don’t want them to– to–
to mess up the team that we got. And he’s the type
of person, he might just snap away half the people
in the stadium, too, so– LANGSTON: That’s true.
KELVIN BEACHUM, JR.: –you know. You know, you’re losing revenue. You’re losing money. LANGSTON: So can we–
we can cross off Thanos. I also noticed you
didn’t mention Cyclops. Brother! – [LAUGHS]
– Like, how many times– [LAUGHS] I’m sorry. You’re a Cyclops. Cyclops is a quarterback.
– OK. KELVIN BEACHUM, JR.:
He’s a pretty boy. – I’ll take it.
– He’s a pretty boy. He is gorgeous. Aye, you can have that. Well, Kevin, having you
here has been a blast. But would you like
to stick around and play a game real quick? What you got? Well, it’s not football
because I imagine you’d do very, very well. I know, and I don’t think
you would do too well. See–
– He’s right. KELVIN BEACHUM,
JR.: –that’s what– He’s right.
He’s right. [LAUGHS] –but that’s what–
that’s what happen when you bring up Cyclops all the time. Yes! [LAUGHTER] Let’s do it. [DESCENDING ELECTRONIC TONE] All right, Kelvin–
– All right. So the name of the game
is called What’s That Sound? Now, we all know
Marvel’s full of sounds. Mm-hmm. Wolverine’s claws go SNIKT. Spiderman’s webs go THWIP. So we’re gonna show you a
bunch of comic book panels with the sounds– the
written sounds taken out, and we’re gonna write
down what we think those sounds are and
see how they match up with the actual sounds.
– OK. LANGSTON: Sound good?
– Cool. OK, first up– Thor giving a beautiful
“have at thee” to Mangog, and he’s just catching a
hammer across the chin. So what do you think
this sound would be? [CLOCK TICKING] [MUSIC PLAYING]
[BELL DINGS] You looked very enthused
about your answer. GRA!
– [LAUGHS] Underline it. That’s like a nice
little signature, man. Yeah.
[LAUGHTER] I just went with a nice,
tried-and-true “THOOOM!” The reveal is, in fact, THOOM. KELVIN BEACHUM, JR.: So did you
see these before we started? No, I did not. You can’t go wrong with THOOOM.
KELVIN BEACHUM, JR.: OK. Next up. LANGSTON: Ah, oh, Hulk
giving two green fists to the back of The Abomination. KELVIN BEACHUM, JR.:
He’s breaking his spine. LANGSTON: Yeah. You know, we talk about
that in offensive line play– want to be able to break
the spine of our defender. He’s literally doing that. [LAUGHS] It’s true. [CLOCK TICKING] [MUSIC PLAYING]
[BELL DINGS] – I’m gonna just go with CRACK.
– I like that. I actually went
with– little bit– sort of little bit closer–
I even went, CRECCH– CK-CK– CRECHHK. So let’s see what this
sound actually is– THRUNCHH.
KELVIN BEACHUM, JR.: Bro. LANGSTON: THRUNCHH. You’re getting too close,
it seems, to be guessing. I also read a lot of
comic books, and I usually– KELVIN BEACHUM, JR.: What you– –focus on the sounds more
than what’s happening, OK? [LAUGHTER] And next up, The Thing is just
cracking The Hulk with a tree, just letting him have it. [CLOCK TICKING] [MUSIC PLAYING] [BELL DINGS] Reveal your sound, please. CRSSH! LANGSTON: Ooh!
OK. I went with–
[POPPING SOUND] –PAK!
KELVIN BEACHUM, JR.: OK. LANGSTON: Then I’ll
see what it is. BKOOOM. It’s the O-O-O-Ms. Is there a dictionary
behind these– I don’t think. I don’t know. Some of them are set,
like SNIKT, THWIP– I see FWISH a lot with, like,
smoke and stuff like that. All right, here we go. Hercules fighting The Hulk– Hulk on the receiving
end of just such– but it wants, like, a tackle. [CLOCK TICKING] [MUSIC PLAYING]
[BELL DINGS] Kelvin, let’s see it.
– SHABAM. LANGSTON: SHABAM.
– SHABAM. Fun here, and also
in everyday life– KELVIN BEACHUM, JR.: [LAUGHS]
– –fun word to say. [LAUGHTER] FWOOSH! Because he’s flying
through the air. And let’s see what the
sound actually is– KRAKABAKA. [LAUGHS] KRAKABAKA– KRAKABAKA– also
fun to say in life. KELVIN BEACHUM, JR.: Crack-back. LANGSTON: KRAKABAKA
and the Plorgs– my new favorite band. You can make a song
out of that right now. LANGSTON: I know, right?
See? [LAUGHS] Kelvin, thank you so much
for hanging out with us. Yes, sir. LANGSTON: We’ll
be looking forward to seeing you on the field. Now I know so much
more about your job as an offensive lineman.
– Yes, sir. Hopefully, we can
get you to a game. I like that. I would love to– I would love to go– cheer
you on with my visor on. I’ll wear my visor.
[LAUGHS] Don’t do that.
Don’t do that. Hold up a huge
sign– a Cyclops– KELVIN BEACHUM, JR.: [LAUGHS] –sign, and
you’ll know it’s me. Well, good luck this season.
– Yes, sir. Thank you very, very–
– Of course. [SWISHING SOUND] Langston, I’m a little
surprised because I didn’t find him offensive at all. No– well, I mean, his
take on Cyclops is offensive. But, no, he’s an offensive
lineman, you see. What? In the football team, he’s
on the offensive side of the– I can’t go into the–
where’d you get– He’s– wait– what fence? I can’t do this. This can’t be– this
can’t be my– my day. – I don’t know why–
– [LAUGHS] – I took a lot of art classes.
– I know. – OK, wait.
– Boom. Let’s get back to
the Marvel Universe. Dig it. There are a lot of schools
in the Marvel Universe, but which is the best? Well, a shout-out to
our real world schools in Marvel Universe,
like MIT, and Columbia, and PS 20 in New York City. Yeah, those– those–
that’s true, but what about the Xavier School? I mean, it’s probably
the most storied school in the Marvel Universe. All the X-Men have been there. You’re lucky to
survive the experience. LANGSTON: Mm-hmm. LORRAINE: There are
a lot of stories there, when it’s not blowing up. LANGSTON: True, a lot of
money in the plaque budget for the rebuilds for that academy. LORRAINE: True. Now, here is one
of my favorites, The Avengers Academy. Let’s say you’re
not a mutant, right? You can’t go to
the Xavier School, but you want to be a hero–
go to The Avengers Academy. Go sign up for Taskmaster’s
shield-throwing class. It’s a whole lot of fun. But, however, it did end up in
the Murderworld, which is, uh– LORRAINE: Bad. LANGSTON: Mm-mmm. LORRAINE: Yeah. No, that ended bad
with a lot of murder. You could go to the Wakandan
School of Alternative Studies, which, you gotta figure,
because they are the most technologically-advanced
nation in the world, it’s got to be probably
the coolest stuff you could possibly say.
Can you imagine– Yeah, I mean– –the kind of things
you could study? –the best– best at lab. You’ve got electron microscopes,
neutron microscopes, every-tron microscope.
– Flying shoes– Flying– –flying elbow pads, flying– – I was gonna say–
– –belts. –I think you
were going to say, flying elbow drops, and
I was like, I’m sure at some point someone might– [LAUGHS] I’m just sure that
everything flies there. LANGSTON: Yes. And not to be outdone, The
Fantastic Four have a school because, see, they’re
all– they’re all smart, and they all love
the FF combination. The Future Foundation is a
school they took their own kids to, and they went to space. LORRAINE: Yeah, that’s the
most abroad you can get. LANGSTON: [LAUGHS] LORRAINE: Literally,
study in space with aliens– it’s a
great way to, you know, make friends across the galaxy. But let’s not forget some of
the bad ones like The Hellfire Club, or The Red Room. Actually, though–
LANGSTON: Not there. LORRAINE: OK, Hot Take. [GROANS] Your Hot Takes are– I feel like– –a little bit too hot. –I feel like The Red
Room is probably like a really convenient place
to study because they just brainwash you. That’s not–
LORRAINE: And, like, you don’t– LANGSTON: –convenience
and brainwashing– you want– want to get rid of– Lorraine– Lorraine-washed.
[LAUGHS] LORRAINE: Hear it– – Hey, Lorraine-washed!
– Hear me out. We’re in sync. Hear me out. It’s minimal effort,
maximum result. LANGSTON: You’re not
Lorraine-washing me– LORRAINE: It’s– LANGSTON: –Lorraine. LORRAINE: –efficiency. That’s all I am saying. LANGSTON: Don’t sign up. I’m gonna tell you
that right now. You’ll listen to your boy. And don’t sign up
for Lorraine’s– I’m just saying, they teach
you horrible things there, but if they didn’t– think about it. It’s subjective. It’s subjective!
– Fair enough. [LAUGHS] All right, you guys tell us
what you think the best school to attend in the Marvel
Universe might be, and #earthsmightiestshow. Yeah, we might just use
it in a future episode. Yeah, I’m still gonna
say it’s The Red Room. (SINGING) Don’t
get Lorraine-washed. Go to The Avengers Academy,
and Taskmaster, teach me. All right.
Oh boy. That’s the way it sounds.
I don’t know. [LAUGHS]
– Gifts? Yeah. He’s– he’s from Brooklyn.
– Yeah, sure. Yeah.
Well, we’ll see you next time. – I’m Lorraine.
– And I’m Langston. And this is Marvel. Your Universe. [THEME MUSIC] Tasky. [SWISHING SOUNDS]

About James Carlton

Read All Posts By James Carlton

53 thoughts on “Is Taskmaster the Best Student in the Marvel Universe?

  1. Everyone in the comment section is toxic as hell…why? I read marvel comics and watch the movies as well and I bet most of the people in this video also watch the movies!

  2. We need Taskmaster in the MCU, in all his glory, including his classic costume, with the skull mask, hood and cape.

  3. i wanna see him in mcu so bad.he is literally the only reason ill watch black widow.i don't like her but i like taskmaster.unfortunately i can't read comics so mcu is all i get

  4. My first Marvel memory is the original Hulk cartoon then the Amazing Spider-Man and his Amazing friends cartoon. I was scared of death of The Hulk I used to cry 😭 as a kid watching it, and Spider-Man was cool to me.

  5. Taskmaster has been my favorite character since I can remember. Own just about every comic he is in. And still collecting

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *