How to Become Pope
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How to Become Pope

Let’s say you want to become pope, head
of the Catholic Church and shepherd to over 1 billion faithful. What requirements must you have for this lofty
position: 1) Be a catholic and 2) Be a man. Which seems a little thin… and, while it’s
technically possible for a regular Sunday Catholic to become pope, the last time this
happened was essentially never because becoming pope isn’t like becoming president, you
can’t just run for office. Selecting the pope is an inside job and the men who do it
are the cardinals, and while in theory they can select any catholic man to become pope,
in practice they prefer to elevate one of their own. The last time a non-cardinal become pope was
more than 600 years ago. So, while it isn’t an official requirement, it’s an unofficial,
official requirement. Thus in order to be pope you’ll first need
to be a cardinal and to do that you’ll need to start climbing the catholic corporate ladder.* Step 1: Become a Priest.
Unlike some churches where you can fill out a form online and – poof – ordained. The
Catholic Church treats becoming a priest as a real, you-need-training profession. So you’re
going to require a lot of education: usually a college degree in Catholic Philosophy and
then a masters in divinity. In addition to your educational qualifications,
you must also be: A man
Unmarried, Willing to remain celibate forever.†
If you meet these requirements, and have been working with the church, then you can be officially
ordained as a priest. Which basically means you get to run a Catholic Church, or work
with another priest who does. But, you want onward and to do that you need
to take the job of the man who just made you a priest. Step 2: Become a Bishop
Bishops are a much more select group: while there are about 400,000 catholic priests world
wide, there are only about 5,000 bishops. While priests get churches, bishops get cathedrals,
from which they oversee a number of local churches. To advance your career you must wait for a
bishop in your area to be forced into retirement at age 75 or die sooner than that – freeing
up space for you. But you can’t just apply, because there’s
already a secret list of potential bishops that’s updated every three years based on
who the current bishops in your area think would make a good replacement for one of their
own. To be on that list, in addition to the obvious
requirement of being a pious person, you should also: Be least 35 years old
Have been priest for at least five years Have a doctorate in theology (or equivalent)
Assuming you’re all these things, your name may, or may not be on the secret list. The
local bishops then give that list to the pope’s ambassador for your country, known as the
Apostolic Nuncio. The Nuncio picks three priests from the list,
does in-depth research on them, conducts interviews and selects the one he thinks is best. But it’s not over, because the Nuncio sends
his report to Vatican City and the congress of bishops who work there reviewing potential
appointments from around the world. If the congress of bishops doesn’t like
any of the three candidates, they can tell the Nuncio to start over: returning to the
list, picking another three candidates – doing more research, more interviews and sending
off the results. When the congress of bishops is happy with
one of the Nuncio’s candidates that name is given to the pope, who can reject the candidate
and start the whole process over. It shouldn’t be a surprise that from a vacancy
to a bishop’s replacement can take months and, on occasion, years. But assuming that a bishop in your area retired
(or died) at the right time and you were on the secret list of good priests and the Nuncio
picked you and you made it through his interview and the congress of bishops approved you and
the pope didn’t veto you – poof now you’re now a bishop. But you’re still not on top. The penultimate
promotion is… Step 3: Become a Cardinal.
Despite the fancy name and snazzy red outfits to match cardinals are not the bosses of bishops,
they are bishops, just with an additional title and additional responsibilities – the
most notable of which is electing the new pope.‡ The only way to become a cardinal is to get
to current pope to appoint you as one – and of the 5,000 bishops, only about 200 are ever
cardinals. But let’s say your ambition doesn’t go
unnoticed by the pope and he makes you a cardinal – now it’s time to play the waiting game
for his death or retirement – and with popes death is vastly more likely. When either happens the cardinals under the
age of 80 are brought to Vatican City where they are isolated from the outside world – presumably
by taking away their cell phones and tablets and carrier pigeons. Once sequestered, the
election of a new pope can begin. These elections are never exactly the same
because the ex-pope leaves instructions on how he wants his replacement to be picked,
but in general it works like this: four times a day the cardinals go to the Sistine Chapel
to vote – to become pope one of them must get a 2/3rds majority. There’s a big dose of musent-be-too-hasty
here as the cardinals don’t just raise their hands, or use a modern preferential voting
system, but instead write down one name on a piece of paper stand before the alter and
say a long latin phrase, before officially casting the ballot. Once all the cardinals have done this, the
votes are counted and then burned. This why TV news stations covering the election
of the pope use super-modern-hd-livestreaming cameras to look at a chimney. If the smoke
is black, no new pope. The high victory threshold, and tediously
slow voting process, is why it takes so long to elect a new pope. It’s usually at least
two weeks of voting four times a day six days a week (with one day a week for prayer) but
the record length is three years. Assuming you, eventually, win the support
of your fellow cardinals, you have one final thing to do before becoming pope: pick yourself
a new name. There is no formal rule, you can name yourself
anything you like but it’s tradition to take the name of a previous pope. Upon your acceptance of the job, the final
ballots are burned clean to make the smoke white and announce to the world that a new
pope has been selected. So that’s the career path: be born into
the right half of the population, become one of a billion catholics, then one of 400,000
priests, then one of 5,000 bishops, then one of 200 cardinals, wait for the current pope
to die or retire, and convince 2/3rds of your fellow cardinals to select you as the one,
the only pope.

About James Carlton

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100 thoughts on “How to Become Pope

  1. Well that's simple. Get into filthy pornography. Pedophilia money laundering, keeping the good people of this world in fear and you're half way there……..Also, worship Satan.

  2. That isn't anythign to do with what cathlicism is. Or rome. Muslims took over and then fight there own children, its the same idiotsthat jsut machetti a 90 year olds face last week. So how the serpent works in linguistic lies and neutering all threats. takes money. if Im and I have been constructing civillisation for a few thousand years, what is really going on… So this thign here is so backwards.. Mithra etc and other groups took over… Rome is ba better cilvisation simply by experience… One should leave a house filled with errors.

  3. This is the video that was recommended to me the most in youtube. I remember it being recommended 4 5 years ago, and then every month it popped up again, until today, when I decided to actually watch it. Nice video

  4. Seniors,while Jews can live in all
    over the world fortunate in their
    beloved birth lands,why Israel invites them to emigrate there and throw Palestinians out of their own?!

  5. Or how to be totally wrong lie and you so far from knowing what you think you know you therising sun worshipping idiots and think you smart it's unbelievable idiot the church and reliogon mostly wrong piece of truth in all . Two become one you know about like you know beyond guilt . You know you lieall you know and isall different exsplanations of one thing as the Dow is ass reliogon are Buddha yet you still guess you k know . Leaves you Injust dishonest lost inself screwing self strangers to self have fun Injust morons . Lie a lieweather you know it or not still al lie . If when don't know you defend lie ass truth is idiot . Ifr refuse to look yet see is lie if can't double check before defending is lies you I just others defending . You clueless about reliogon or the father yet believe that you smart. Go pray the suncomes tomorrow morons you trick yourself into believing they the idiots way you didn't see the rest of the story.

  6. You must get 66.666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666667%of the votes to win

  7. The office
    Bruh so Micheal is a priest
    Jim at one point co priest
    Ryan a bishop
    David Wallace a cardinal
    CEO of Dundee Mifllin pope


  9. We all saw the Tom Hanks movie, but good video anyway. I’m going to resist the urge to pick low hanging fruit and skip the kiddie touching joke.

  10. Papal infallibility is such a hoax.
    1. Some popes were kids, can kids decide what teachings are infallible?
    2. Some popes were murderers and crooks, can you trust these to decide on what doctrines are infallible?
    3. Some popes orgy with 50 naked harlots , castrated his own deacon and murdered his own predecessor, can you trust these to decide on what doctrines are infallible?
    4. Some popes bought their titles. Can you really trust such people to give you doctrines?
    5. If Popes are fallible, so are their doctrines. So its absolutely silly to believe fallible pope to give you infallible doctrines.
    6. Some periods, there were more than one pope at the same time. SO which pope is infallible? One or all?
    There are multiple popes at one time during certain period , who is right?
    Pope 1 says A is right
    Pope 2 says B is right.
    Who is right?

    THis is one silly doctrine of RCC . Same applied to Partriachs of Ortho faith.

    I cant believe Catholics are so gullible!!!
    My toes are laughing!!!

  11. While watching this video, press the number 9 on your keyboard and something creepy yet interesting will happen.

  12. 4:27 who tf named himself "Innocent"?! I'll forgive 'Clement' but "Innocent"?! If I ever met a guy named Innocent I would probably be overwhelmed with an urge to either laugh at his face or punch it. Depends on whether it was given by his parents or HIS own self. (Yea, I'd most likely punch a pope if he had that name.)

  13. Requirements: 1: be a satanist even unwittingly, don’t get me started on how the catholic church removed their congregation from God by placing a man as the direct link to God u must go thro, and has them praying and worshiping men(saints) or angels instead of God. In a certain group of commandments it clearly say have no other god before me. Clearly a system to steal souls from true relationship with God and having them worship man. I’ll stop there. I luv and bless the catholic ppl but the system is designed to divert them from God and our true destiny. Catholic ppl are devout and dedicated, pls assess the road ur told to walk, I hope to rejoice with u all in heaven someday

  14. I have to say that whatever you think of these antichrists is that their system is quite foolproof, the chances of selecting the “wrong” candidate seems very very unlikely

  15. You must know that Jesus Christ could claim he has never looked at a girl or women with lust in his heart. These were the days when most people bathed in public water source. Some say he was gay for a guy back when 2000 years ago. You can't make such a claim without being a homosexual. Jesus Christ spent his time around female prostitutes and that could mean he was gay. Jesus couldn't fix gay. If you were made that way then if you can accept it and not marry for the kingdom of heaven.

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