Dave Chappelle Learned The Care Bear Stare | Netflix Is A Joke
- Articles, Blog

Dave Chappelle Learned The Care Bear Stare | Netflix Is A Joke


– How old are you young man? You. – [Man In Crowd] 24. – 24? You don’t know shit. (audience laughing) You don’t know shit! You gotta Google shit
that I’ve lived through. (audience laughing) See this is why I lock mother
fuckers phones up, seriously. Cause the young kids, you guys look, you need to take a break from that tech, we all need a break just
from that technology. Just for a minute. (audience cheering) (audience cheering) You know, I’m from a
different time, young man, a dark time to you. (audience laughing) I’m from a time that I
didn’t even used to know who was on the phone
until I answered the shit. (audience laughing) Like when tragedy used to strike. I remember when I was 12 years old and the teacher wheeled the television set into the classroom. Remember these days? (audience cheering) And she turned it on to
one of three channels, and she said, class the space shuttle is taking off and we’re all going to watch it take off. Man, that shit was going great for like three to five minutes. That’s right, you remember. It fucking exploded! (audience laughing) Right on television! Everybody on board dead,
immediately presumed dead. It was so bad the teacher
looked at all the kids was like, (audience laughing) you can go home. (audience laughing) It’s a goddamned national tragedy. This was Cold War America. The Russians were laughing at us. My point is for a guy your age wouldn’t even know the pain
because in your generation it’s like the space shuttle
blows up every fucking day. How can you care about anything, when you know every goddamned thing? I’m getting over one cop shooting, and then another one happens, and then another one happens. and another one happens. I’m crying about Paris
and then Brussels happens, I can’t keep track of all this shit, so you just give the fuck up. That’s the hallmark of your generation. And that’s fucked up
because your generation lives in the most difficult
time in human history. This is the age of spin. The age where nobody knows what the fuck they even looking at. Did you know that Planned
Parenthood was for abortions, it’s for people that don’t
plan things out at all. (audience laughing) (audience laughing) That’s right. So a guy your age doesn’t
really know how he feels. Are you pro-choice? Are you anti-consequences? What does it all really mean? (audience laughing) (audience laughing) It’s easier not to care for you, but for us, we were trained to care. We were raised that way. I used to watch a fucking
cartoon when I was growing up, called The Care Bears. (audience laughing) (audience laughing) It was about a fucking
group of teddy bear people. They were like teddy bears,
but they were like people and they were all different colors and they all fucking just
walked around caring. They cared about each
other and everything else. They all had different
designs on their stomachs and the designs told you something about what they might be like inside. (audience laughing) Very, very, loving group of beings. And when shit got real bad, as nice as those teddy bears were, they didn’t get mean faces, they got determined. And the leader would say, come on guys, it’s time for the Care Bear… STARE! Remember that shit? (audience cheering) And them little teddy
bears would lock arms, and stare at the problem, and I’m not even bullshitting, actual love would shoot
out of their chests, (audience laughing) and would dispel anything
that was fucked up. And when we grew up we wanted
to be like those bears. And then we got our hearts
broken because we found out that life wasn’t gonna let us do that. And that it’s impossible to
shoot love out of your chest. However, I have shot love
onto somebody’s chest before. (audience laughing) (audience laughing) I do it all the time. It’s the next best thing. (funky music)

About James Carlton

Read All Posts By James Carlton

100 thoughts on “Dave Chappelle Learned The Care Bear Stare | Netflix Is A Joke

  1. The most difficult time in history? So when a simple scratch could kill you from a bacterial infection was better? When every family had at least one child that died before five, that was better? When so many children died that expected years of life left to live was lower at birth than at age 12. The age of spin? You mean like when Hearst newspapers lied about the explosion of the USS Maine and convinced the country to go to war with Spain in 1898. Planned parenthood, where the majority of service revolve around reproductive health and contraception.

    Pathetic, just pathetic.

  2. I honestly don't think it's that much of a "generational gap" that is making up these different life's …I honestly believe it's more like a "growing up poor and growing up rich "

  3. LMAO.. I got all y'all beat. My teacher brought in a TV so we could watch Nixon resign. She was crying but we were to young to understand what was going on and got scolded for being disrespectful to the president.

  4. I swear they put a mic on the one guy in the front because his clapping sounds close mic'd. He claps at everything and it's annoying that it's so audible and separate from the rest of the audience ambiance.

  5. I guess I'm anti consequence. I'd much prefer irresponsible people have access to safe, ineffective abortion than me having to deal with their poorly raised children.

    Society sucks as it is, let's not make it worse by drowning ourselves in unwanted children raised by resentful parents. Let's build a wall of abortion to keep the unwanted out of our country.

  6. www.instagram.com/lifeunderseige – AGE OF SPIN is so right, and we have become desensitized to exactly this story linked

  7. The space shuttle blew up.
    hahahahaha!
    Everybody presumed dead.
    hahahahaha!
    Teachers and students traumatized.
    hahahahaha!
    Let's make a fucking meme.

  8. This is why, I know, comedians are some of the smartest people alive. He's funny and creative and knows all about current events and spins the topics to make that shit funny.

  9. This is spot on, except for his comment about Planned Parenthood. Planned Parenthood offers a wide range of reproductive and breast health services for women, especially for those who do not have insurance or a regular physician. Abortions are way down the list of the services they offer.

  10. For those of you who are wondering……here is how the Stare and "love shoot from chest" by care bears looks like – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dN_s1EJbIn4

  11. Man he looked absolutely terrible last week on SNL with Murphy. It wasn’t high and it certainly wasn’t drunk. He just looked and sounded confused.

  12. A dude like this, speaking truth, I’m sorta expecting a big “AMEN!” In the background, but nah 😂.

    So I’m gonna do it…AMEN!

  13. Dave just told the world what the biggest problem is, technology has desensitized an entire generation and thats where all the violence is stemming from. Ever read Ted Kaczynski manifesto? He foreseen whats going on now and tried to stop it at the root and everyone thought he was crazy.

  14. That guy on the right at 1:32 who is laughing and looks like a Russian, after Dave said the Russians are laughing at us he stop laughing XD

  15. Idk I just feel like these ones were way better than his latest one.
    The latest one there was like no light to it.
    It was dark as hell and there nothing to actually laugh at. And people try to counter it by saying well comedy involves truth.
    To an extent.
    Sorry not sorry. And I’ve been a fan of his since 04 when the Chappelle‘s show was in its prime. But at some point you have to draw a line and ask yourself after you watched it
    “Is this even comedy or is this social issue Ted talks?”
    Cause that’s definitely how I felt.

  16. What was the green Care Bear? All I can remember is that he had a 4 leaf clover on his belly. Drunken Irish Bear?.. who emits a rainbow of Guinness?

  17. Bruh, being from a "3rd world country", I can relate to all this shit he's talking about AND the newer generations

    I AM HISTORY!

  18. Man, this guy really is something. Over and over again, Dave would give me something new to think about while making me laugh about it. Thank you for being such a great comic.

    Btw TVs never rolled into our classrooms, our teachers never fucking cared 😂

  19. Do NOT mess with the Care Bears, sir. Brave Heart and Funshine bears, they shoot LOVE from their stomachs….😂….gah, I loved the 80's! 😭❤

  20. I remember when the teacher showed us the space shuttle taking off. I think I was in like 2nd or 3rd grade. I remember seeing the explosion on live tv and I remember not giving a shit. 🤣 I was drinking my little cup of orange soda and I had a plate of potato chips and a cup cake. My teacher was horrified and I was sitting there playing airplane with my cupcake. Pretending my cupcake was the space shuttle. 😂

  21. I don't like the notion that younger generations don't care. In fact, when they express care for fixing shit older generations fucked up they get mocked. Just look at Greta Thunberg. A kid started a whole movement dedicated to solving probably the worlds BIGGEST issue, and the president is telling her to "chill out and go watch a movie".

  22. Easy for you talk. I might look dead inside but I still have feelings. I might be the king of the tards, but I still feel the love Jenny. I feel too much and I think too little and I got be the best at being the worse, biggest B and it’s time for you to go but sorry I don’t feel your love or compassion because non-existence. So keep on quacking and my mind will keep on cracking unless I remember to only feel the feelings I want to feel to survive.

  23. Is this funny? Is it comedy? I don't think I heard a single joke, or punchline, or really even a funny realization or funny way of seeing things… He's just talking about things, like explaining stuff, and people are on the floor laughing?

  24. 1:07 Bruh, I remember this. There was a weird silence in the classroom, like was that supposed to happen? The 1st black astronaut didn't make it. Then the joke NASA need another seven astronauts. Damn elementary.

  25. Watching dave, it always feels like he's saying he hasn't figured everything out yet, but he's really trying to. Like this joke, for instance, could have turned into some kind of boomer-esque lecture, but no, it, instead, just points out the differences between generations and how they reacted to shit vs how we react to shit, while, of course, lightheartedly poking fun at how we could work to solve some of the challenges we face now and react to them, etc. Simple in its brilliance, saying a lot with very few words.

  26. You're so very sweet Dave. You always were 👑💜
    I've loved you from day one. Such nice energy. You are one of the VERY few 'celebs' that i would actually like to meet or see live.
    I respect you, Very much 💎. You are and always have been, a diamond in the rough.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *