Cyprien – L’école
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Cyprien – L’école


I don’t hate school, but I’m still happy that I no longer have to go there. Cyprien, you’re in danger of death, you have 2 choices to stay alive. The first choice, I send you back in time with this remote, No no no, not that! The second choice, I make you listen to a little song that I wrote, it’s super cool. No no no, I’ll take the first choice. Too bad for you, it was a great song. Teleportation… It’s been several years since I finished school. However, I can’t forget all of the little things that I hated in school, they’re little things but they all annoyed the hell out of me… The pencil lead that stays in the pencil sharpener… When I smudge a line that I drew with my ruler… Trying to use a glue stick and there’s no glue left… So I have to try and use the little plastic thing to get any glue out… So when you do that often, that means buy a new glue stick. Crumbling my paper when erasing… Putting my hand under the table and touching a piece of gum… Ew! My neighbor who does everything to avoid being copied… Entering the wrong room… Sorry for the… bye! Chewing on someone else’s pen… You’re chewing on my pen dude… Oh pouahh… Emptying my pencil sharpener in my bag… Stabbing myself with the compass point when I put my hand in my bag… Oh damn! (The compass) AHAHAHAHAHAH!!! When the teacher erases the board but leaves a bit… At that moment I really get the urge to take the eraser and scrub that damn board so that it’s totally clean, it’s not that hard to do but I don’t do it, otherwise people will think I’m crazy and I’ll be humiliated for the rest of my school life. Looking at my watch twice in the same minute… Dammit! Getting pen ink on my fingers while putting on the cap… So I try to get it off with an eraser but my fingers stink afterwards. When the teacher wants to call on someone. So who’s gonna do this problem? Here, the technique is to avoid all eye contact with the teacher. Cyprien! Damn… But what annoys me the most in school, is when the teacher is absent… So it’s been 15 minutes… should we leave? (Everyone) Yeah, yeah… Sorry for being late, get out your books and turn to page 43. Crap! But not everything about school is bad There are even some small moments of joy, it’s not very often but I love it. (substitute) the teacher is absent. YES! (substitute) We’re going to watch a movie today. YES! (substitute) There’s a protest going on. YES! (substitute) What exactly are we protesting? Who cares! My worst enemy at school, I remember like it was yesterday… *BOREDOM* When I was getting bored in class, I could do whatever I wanted, but no matter what, nothing was more interesting than the class in progress… The non-exhaustive list of what I would do when I was bored in class: Making squares in graph paper. Putting my finger in between the binder rings to see if it hurt. And I can say that it hurt a little but not much. Now I know. The girls would write SOLEIL (sun) with their calculators. The guys would write ELLE BAISE (she bangs) with their calculators. Taking out shards of paper from spiral notebooks. In the category of drawing: The rabbit behind the wall, The “S”with the weird shape, The flowers with the compass and filling in the squares on graph paper. Collecting the beads inside ink cartridges… I admit, there was no point to that. But if ever needed some, I would’ve had them… Building a blowpipe with an eraser. Making holes in an eraser. I made plenty of those, I don’t know why. Bouncing my pen. That was pointless, but I did it anyway. Playing with the cap of my pen until it was bent… Listening to music with a headphone in my sleeve… That was smart. Building a missile with an empty pen, paper and glue… Straight into the ceiling. Of course when I was bored, I talked to my neighbor, but be careful, you can’t get caught by the teacher, and as a result I developed some super skills. I was the best at “red light, green light”. Very interesting, please continue sir. Don’t get me wrong though, I worked hard at school. A bit… A tiny little bit… A teeny tiny little bit… What do you think of school? Leave a comment, make yourself at home! Subtities by pianoman898 🙂
Sous-titrage par pianoman598 🙂

About James Carlton

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100 thoughts on “Cyprien – L’école

  1. Ce qui est le plus chiant à l'école c'est quand le prof croit que tu n'écoute pas le cour en te denant 1000 avertissement alors que si!!!!😠😠

  2. 2:00 alors la prof elle a poser une question personne a lever la main et y a moi le p'tit con qui regarde la prif esg qui se interroger

  3. 1:56 moi je fais semblant d'écrire, comme ça il se dit "oh bah elle travaille, je ne vais pas la déranger… Thomas, au tableau !" 😜

  4. MOI je hais l école et malheureusement j y suis encore 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

  5. Moi aussi sa m'énerve quand la prof efface et qu'il reste un bout d'écriture sur le tableau😡oui je regarde en 2019

  6. Perso, je viens de finir le primaire et maintenant que j'ai commencé le secondaire (je suis au Canada), je trouve un SEUL problème : la prof de math qui me fait dormir à minuit 😅

  7. le mec qui lui dzmande l'ecole ou le ruc atrose bas ses cyprien mes avec un monos sourcile et oui aussi je DETESTE L'ECOLE

  8. Ça me manque les musiques comme ça, simple, trucs qui se passent vraiment dans la vie💛😔 Cyprien, reviens😘

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