Crazy Substitute Teachers
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Crazy Substitute Teachers


yo, wassup HOMESICLES. I’m gonna talk about substitute teachers! I wanna say for the most part, we all like having subs. You like, walk into the classroom, expecting it to be a normal day, and you glance over at the teacher, and BOOM, it’s a sub! YES! Don’t have to try today. Most subs are pretty cool, they don’t really care too much either. and everyone just ends up having a nice easy break day. They have this attitude like: “OK, so I’m just gonna pop in a movie or something… do whatever you want, I’m just here to make sure you don’t all go miley cyrus wild and poke some kid’s eye out with a ruler. But sometimes they don’t care too much and it gets kinda weird… Like once, I had a Math sub, where we were just doing a worksheet or something, and this girl behind me was eating carrots. But all of a sudden, she started choking on one of her carrots and was like gasping and gagging and stuff. And everyone turned around and was mortified. wut. what do we do!? We all looked over at the sub for help and guidance or… something because of all people, he should have a plan. And he was just… looking at her, not doing anything, I’m sure, if the girl could’ve spoke at that time, she would’ve said: “FREAKIN’, I’M CHOKING ON A CARROT HERE!” “WHAT ARE YOU LOOKING AT?!” “DO SOMETHING, YOU BUFFOON! AAGH!” So for a small period of time, everyone was just helplessly looking at this poor girl choking on a carrot. No one knew what to do! FINALLY, one guy got up and did the choking Heimlich Procedure they teach us. It was so legit! He even did the “are you choking” question like they say you have to. If you haven’t heard of the technique, or… for some reason they’ve changed it, The steps are: Approach the person and ask “are you choking?” Do not proceed if they are not choking. *laugh* it actually says that.. Get behind the person and wrap your arms around their waist. Be ready to support them if they faint. Take your fist and place the thumbside against their belly, just above their belly button. Grab the fist with the other hand, and thrust into the belly. And the final step is: repeat thrusts until the object pops out, or until the person faints. So… the girl didn’t faint, he actually got the carrot out of her throat. and everyone was… relieved. And after all that hollabalu, we all kinda looked over to see what the sub had to say about the situation, and.. nothing! :O He just watched the situation with a blank-slate look on his face! Like, what the heck! What are you? I’ve never seen less of a reaction from such a big situation from anyone in my entire life. he should make a reaction channel, come to think of it… He’d blend in with most of the people on YouTube doing it already. Anyway, enough with Mr. Blank-Slate. I remember when I was in high school, we had kinda a main group of substitutes that were common to have when a teacher called in sick or something. And there was this one old man guy, that everyone knew, *pause* and absolutely HATED. And before you say something like: “Oh Jaiden, that’s kind of rude to say.” In our defense, he hated us too. Whenever a person walked in and saw him sitting behind the teacher’s desk, the immediate thought would be: “oh ffff- crap, it’s gonna be a rough day today.” No one had to say it… but we were all thinking it. “OK Jaiden, so what was he like?” Oh, stand up, so you can sit down because I’m gettin’- getting started. Take the strictest person you know… ..and throw them out the window because this guy is now that person. I think he saw himself as a military instructor leading juvenile delinquents because he wanted every child to be behaving: Perfectly. To a T. No funny business. and… yeah, that’s not gonna happen in a high school, sooooo there’s problem one… He would start every class with the same lecture: “Alright, sit down and zip up because we’re taking attendance. If I hear any talking, you’re being written up. I don’t tolerate jokesters in my classroom.” “I’m going to call out your last name, followed by your first name. And if I don’t hear you say “Present” then you’re being marked “Absent”. You should be paying attention because you only have one chance. and I’m not calling names twice.. if I pronounce your name wrong, CORRECT ME. Alright, here we go.” He says that exact paragraph every time he starts a class, and I know it because I’ve had him enough times to have it power-washed into my head. I kinda wanna believe he has it written down in frame somewhere in his house, so he can proudly look at it before he goes to bed every night. And he actually gets mad if you don’t correct him if he pronounces your name wrong. *lol* I know from experience. I don’t care when people pronounce my name wrong, it happens all the time. I’ve gotten used to it. So I thought I wouldn’t make a big deal out of it. “Aneemations…” “Jai-aiden.” “Here.” “Did I say that correctly?” “it’s close enough.” “CORRECT ME NEXT TIME!” uh- sorry? *lols* He reminds me of, if like Oscar the Grouch had a pet lemon, but the lemon was expired by 2 months and he keeps forgetting to throw it away. Like, “Aww crap, the lemon!” “ahh, I’ll do it tomorrow.” And he doesn’t do it tomorrow… So.. I’ll call him Mr. YetToBeThrownOutLemon. just for simplicity. I truly don’t know why Mr. YetToBeThrownOutLemon worked as a substitute teacher. Because you could just SEE the child hatred in his eyes. Somehow, he made everyone in the class feel uncomfortable just by existing. So lemme tell u a STORY about Mr. YetToBeThrownOutLemon. We had him in a Biology class once. and… we were just gonna work on a paper he had to pass out. “Alright, we’re going to be doing a worksheet today. If I hear any talking, YOU’RE BEING WRITTEN UP. This is an individual worksheet, so there’s absolutely no reason to talk to ANYONE at all during this hour.” “Everyone, come up to the front of the room right now and grab a paper. “Umm, Mrs. Grapes does it so each person at a table has a number and she calls out a random number, and that person just gets up and gets the paper for the rest of the table so it’s easier to-” “I WILL NOT HAVE SLAVES IN MY CLASSROOM!” WHAT DID HE JUST SAY?! *lols* This man just compared picking up papers for other classmates to SLAVERY. SLAVERY!!! Good god! I dee- auHH So we did it his way, the 34 of us all got up at the same time, and shuffled to the front of the room, awkwardly squishing together, to grab a paper from the one pile he made for us.” You. are. a fruitcake. A did a lot of other weird, over-the-top things, but this was by far the best thing I’ve ever witnessed from him. Oh, Mr. YetToBeThrownOutLemon. You’re a real piece of work. “No talking.” “I’m going to call out your last name, followed by BLUEEGH BLUEEGHP.” “This is an individual worksheet to su- buffa vullafins reasons.” “I will not have sclaffles in my classroom.” i don’t know what those are. “This is an individual worksheet to sol the jump puffs LA TE EARF.” WEEH *coughing* HA HAHG. *zombie sounds???* metal gear… “Jaiden, is there a Jaiden here… Ja-aiden… a Jaiden.” “ani… anim.. animations of jaiden. is there a ANIMATIONS JAIDEN. JA-JAIDEN. WHAT THE FFFU-”

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100 thoughts on “Crazy Substitute Teachers

  1. Once the sub made my class stay in at lunch cuz shes an idiot so she picked kids to got have lunch i was one of the last so i snuck out and in my head i imagined punching her

  2. My subs get a list of instructions by our teachers, and they also get confused a lot. They never, ever play movies, and apparently a sub teacher NEVER let kids go to the bathroom, and they got fired (I think) because a few kids had accidents when the sub didn’t let them go. I only like a few subs I get

  3. One time we had a sub for Choir (no I can't sing, don't ask questions) and… She couldn't even introduce herself to us let alone take attendence. You know what she did? Made all 34 of us shuffle up to the teachers desk to check our names off the one sheet of paper the class had just to get yelled at because you don't know where the heck your name was and because you didn't have even a split second to get a flipping pencil! On top of all that, she took a good ten minutes to find the classroom. Which might've sucked for the janitors because the kids who had small water bottles got bored a dumped some of the water down the ramp. Lots of kids slipped and fell that day. We even danced in the water lol

  4. Mr Yetobethrownoutlemon got nothing on our most hated sub. Shes so hated she even got the name, Coach Die because she made everyone want to die and cause they wanted her to die. Shes blow a whistle in your ear if you stepped out of line, scream across the classroom and actually would ask another student to verbally abuse any student who broke the rules cause teachers arent allowed to curse. Talking isnt allowed at all, you talk? She yell over you then pick up a paper ball or something and throw it near the student. No other rules are tolerated, she immediately writes you up after all her screaming and blowing whistles in your ear

  5. mr.yetobethrownoutlemon:
    who the frik is there

    mr.yettobethrownoutlemon

    did i say that correctly

    close eno-

    CORRECT ME NEXT TIME

    o-

    NO TALKING

    (oof them)

  6. So, one of my subs, let’s call her mrs e, had this thing where she would count to 3 and if she got to 3 we would all get like a 0 for that day. So, she decided to let us sit at other desks. I was on the opposite side of the class room from my desk. We were watching a video and were allowed to discuss the answers bcuz they went by super fast. The sub counted to one while we were discussing answers and we then stopped. After the video she told us to go to our original desks. This woman said 2..3 in the span of 2 milliseconds! She was like okay, stand up, hug the person next to you. (we hug????) She’s like okay, now do y’all wanna kiss? And our savior let’s call her Miranda, is like it’s time to leave and we bolted

  7. I remember one particular substitute teacher I had. I had him twice that I can remember. He was an older white guy, grey hair and I remember the first time he was very nice, extremely soft spoken and told cool stories about when he was in africa and how the kids thought he had something on his skin cause they hadn't seen a white person before and I thought it was pretty cool.

    The second time, I'm hoping he was just having a rough day or something, because he looked really upset, like dead glassy eyes. Didn't talk to the class much and I just remember him looking miserable and thinking, "Did being a sub beat him down that bad already?"

  8. Girl: starts choking
    Sub:…
    Everyone: screams & panics
    Sub:…
    Kid:Dose choking procedure
    Sub:…
    Jaiden:This man is the most zoned out person in this situation I've ever seen in my ENTIRE life.💤😴

    This last one was not wrote word for word.
    Date plagerisim👮🚓

  9. I had a sub On my bus and if you stuck your foot in the aisle with your bags you get written up seem if you talked I wanted to drop kick this boy in his face

  10. 0:05 in my school theres one sub that we only have AND SHE SUCKS! one time i had to call my mom and she didnt let me but she was also very rude probs because she was a 5th grade teacher idk

  11. We had a similar sheet thing in my school except there were 3 rows and she called out a row (1, 2, 3) and you got 3, one for each person in the column, I don't even know why I'm commenting this.

  12. I had this weird substitute teacher no matter the subject she would sneak in World war 2 with no exceptions. Every time after they played the national anthem she would go off into a rant for half an hour.

  13. I had a sub recently who, when we got back from 7th hour, the door was locked and the lights were off. We knocked on the door and nothing happened. We stood in the hall for 20 minutes and she unlocked the door and walked out and left.

  14. Mr.Yettobethrownoutlemon reminds me of a substitute I have named mr.Ireland(I think, I one time called him Mr. Irish)

  15. "Take the strict person you know and throw them out of the window" me: no because he is less strict then the most strict I know! (My mom)

  16. One time in 5th grade we had a sub cause our teacher was running the spelling bee so she was up on the front running it and we were in the audience when a kid started crying and then we found out the teacher HIT HIM upside the head for TYING HIS SHOE she claimed he was “not paying attention and playing with his shoe” then she lied to our teacher about hitting him but that teacher could tell so that sub is banned from teaching at that school

    (Sorry this was long and you probably don’t care)

  17. Did that math sub even hear of child abuse BC im pretty sure that girl could have died what would her mom even say, just ….. wow!

  18. Not all subs are like this…
    I had a sub who is pretty much an actual teacher, sort-of.
    the sub actually had us do WORK and do WORK well.
    XD

  19. I don’t know if that teacher is worse than a teacher that I had in elementary school so because I had her in elementary school there were no periods she yelled at me and said she was going to call my parents because I forgot to say good morning she and so many other things

  20. A sub at my school got fired for harassing students, leaving class randomly and even sexually harassing a male student.
    She was insane

  21. 5:31 I would’ve went Out the door if any of my teachers will say that in the future when I’m in college because I’m only in school not in college yet

  22. 5:33 .. I dont think he meant picking up papers as slavery, I think he meant the number assigning as slavery, usually during war or sth when people are taken as slaves they don't use their names, they will be assigned numbers. I'm pretty sure he meant that

  23. i had a sub once and she was HORBBBBBBBAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! she was acickley the worst!!!! She sent me down to the office when we were having our valentines party when i was doing the same thing everyone else was doing. she is freakn gay!!!!!!!!!!!!

  24. I have a sub like that he acts exactly like Mr.yet to be thrown out lemon his name is mr. wireman and he has the worst hearing ever. One time a kid yelled to him “hey Mr.Wireman your mom gay” and he didn’t hear a thing

  25. This happened to my friend at camp and the German teacher showed up. I forgot the teachers name so I yelled GERMANS randomly. She was and was like could you please be quiet? ( it's night time) my friend is legit dying and she just walks out. The friend had to go to a different teacher and for the rest of the night we would just yell GERMANS.

  26. My school has a sub that called my class stupid and deaf TO OUR FACES and then procedid to yell at me for being annoyed at a 60 something man calling me and my classmates the exact thing he was! But apparently to everyone was the perfect human being! AND HES STILL WORKING AT MY SCHOOL

  27. Anyone who has fun subs are frickin lucky because at my school the subs yell at u most of the time and they frickin leave a report kinda for the teacher when u have the teacher again and it sucks because the teacher frickin will get on to you if the sub exaggerates or says u were bad and one of my subs said that my whole class failed a lockdown practice which is not even possible at my school 😤😤😱😤😤 all because one of my friends had started laughing quietly which isn’t her fault because she stopped and tried to keep her self a little quieter but couldn’t 😬😬 but in conclusion the subs at my school are such jerks 😢😤😤

  28. I can relate to the mispronunciation(yes I use Grammarly) of Jaiden's name. people always call me Austin instead of August

  29. Clicks on video Yo What's up Homesicles? Uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

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