Brewstew – School Lunch
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Brewstew – School Lunch

Alright, school lunch Nothing better than lunch time
to break up the school day Gives you a nice litte break
from learning about social studies Or.. erosion Goddamn isosceles triangles,
I don’t know You sit there with your asshole friends,
everybody’s showing off their sweet lunch boxes I got Angry Beavers I got The Herculoids I got this sweet-ass Tootie lunch box You know, from The Facts of Life Anybody? God damn it, am I the only one that watches
TV Land in this bitch, or what And you’d sit there
and you’d eat your stupid little lunch Your peanut butter and jelly,
a fruit roll-up piss-warm kool-aid that you kept in your
Jefferson’s thermos My friend Michael would always have
the shittiest food in his lunch That he’d try to auction off,
trade away to some poor bastard “I’ll trade you this dirty rhubarb
for your fruit roll-up” “Nobody wants your stupid-ass rhubarb,
Michael, Jesus Christ!” “It’s not my fault your mom packs
your lunch like we’re on the Great Depression” Of course we could always buy
a school lunch from our manly-ass lunch ladies Lunch ladies, that look like they bounce
nightclubs on the side The got like stubble and dirt mustaches That would any thirteen-year-old boy
going through puberty pretty jealous (in low raucous voice):
“A dollar and fourty, please. Thank you” Yeah, I went to public school So I didn’t get any of those
fancy-pants private school lunches All you rich kids had
your fucking filet mignon and your caviar No, hell no! Fucking hot ham and cheese,
in a bag, condensation on the inside Nice and soggy,
tastes like it’s been sitting in a hot car on a summer day for a few hours And that’s your lunch, that’s what
we were having for lunch on mondays Now the shit’s disgusting,
you fucking pack on Mondays Now, Tuesdays, they were okay
Tuesday was burrito day It tasted pretty good, but you pay the price
right about time the gym class kicks in Your stomach is all like: *Blurrgulhug* *blows the whistle* “What’s the matter our there,
why are you playing the kickball?” – There’s a buttload of shit in my pants
– Alright, get a hall pass, fucking Tuesdays Then Wednesdays,
that was mac and cheese with a side of peas Why peas, I don’t know,
nobody ate that shit Maybe because it rhymes and it sounded nice
I don’t know. Mac N’ Cheese N’ Peas Fucking Licorice N’ Tuna Fish Spicy Pickles N’ A Goddamn Jar of Nickels Delicious And then there was Thursdays Thursdays were the best days
when it came to school lunch Because Thursday was pizza day And you were a dumbass that accidentally
packed a lunch on pizza day Well, get ready to be made fun of
for the rest of your life Oh, you packed on pizza day?
Do you know what you look like? A person that makes shitty decisions! Now get away from me
before you fuck up my life! The pizza was so damn good Even today, as an adult I’d be like sitting in traffic somewhere
and I’d just think about that pizza, like God damn, that was a good-ass pizza! It was like the most precious thing that
you could have when you were nine-years-old It was valuable, you could trade
anything you wanted for it! I’ve seen a kid shove a dime up his nose
and then cough it out on the table All for an extra piece of pizza Like dude,you gonna give yourself
sepsis for Christ’s sake All for a bag of Tony’s pizza And no matter what day it was,
lunch time would always end the same way for the last 10 minutes of lunch
the man-ladies would turn off the lights Which meant everybody
had to shut the fuck up You are caught talking? One of these
linebacker women would make you stand up And standing up was a bad thing! I don’t know,
we just didn’t want to stand up, I guess Sometimes the lunch ladies would appoint
a fellow classmate to be their little deputy And walk around,
make sure you weren’t talking You’d always have that one asshole,
who’d let all that power go to his head – Stand up, you’re talking!
– Fuck you, Michael, I’m not standing up! “We’re supposed to be on the same team,
you goddamn traitor!” “Well, you didn’t trade your goddamn fruit
roll-up to me, so stand up!” I swear to God, Michael, I’m gonna
Stone Cold Stunner you as soon as we leave here “I am the Law!” So you just stand there, have everybody
blame you until it was time to leave “Ah, mah, he looks like such an idiot!” “Look at him standing up and everybody
else is sitting down, what a stupid idiot!” Then your teacher would come
and you would go off That was it Michael would get Stone Cold Stunner
for his bullshit shenaningans And everything was right in the world! Give me a Hell Yeah Special thanks to:
Geno1906 Special thanks to:
Ryan Earles Special thanks to:
Steven Meekel Thanks for watching this shit

About James Carlton

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100 thoughts on “Brewstew – School Lunch

  1. I've never had a packed lunch

    I thought I was in heaven when I got one of those sugar free cookies that tasted like wallpaper

    And I found at least 10-12 hairs in there some of that stuffs expired
    If you're in Oklahoma you got it the worst

    Goddam prisoner singular use up 16000$

    While a second grade student uses 8000$
    Fucking prisoners are in better luxury then say a seven year that just wants to go home

  2. My school had pizza every day but it was a scam because it was just a 5$ little ceasers pizza that'd they sell for 2.50 a slice..

  3. My had the spongiest most disgusting chicken sandwich’s you could put together. You’d bit down into it and you whole jaw would just bounce back off of it

  4. Normal schools (people at my school says it's like this) have lunch then recess
    My school has recess THEN LUNCH
    I hate it cause I will always be starving for recess. I don't like bringing snacks

  5. our school lunch

    1 chicken burger
    2 hamburger
    3 rice
    4 pizza
    5 pasta
    6 fries
    7 poutine(fries covered in cheese Kurd and nice and hot gravy that melts the cheese Kurds (a Canadian masterpiece)
    8 in another room there was the student run cafeteria they had new menus every week

  6. Petition to get brewstew to make a diss track on the all Storytime Animators he can get his stick figure hands on.

  7. I remember i would have a shitty ham and cheese sandwhich with potato chips in ziploc bags in my lnchbox, but the stupid ice pack was right next to it, so when you open the damn thing, the fucking bread and chips are soggy as hell. i fucking hated it.

  8. The best day for lunch at school was Wednesday cuz that's when we had popcorn chicken Fridays are pretty good

  9. don’t ever go to Thomas Page they have the worst lunch food ever never go there it’s fucking soggy pizza fucking rotten burgers with maggots in them fucking chicken noodle soup with fucking rotten vegetables in them and fuck him the worst macaroni ever

  10. At my school pizza day was thursday too.. the laat five minutes of lunch was silence or youll get yelled at and detention

  11. Imagine u.s kids going to Europe and eating Italien pizza lmao “OMG THIS PIZZA IS BETTER THEN ALL THE FAST FOOD I HAVE EVER EATEN”

  12. I went to private school for middle school and it is not as good as people make it out to be, it’s a small ass school, you had to deal with the same exact people all day. Got someone you absolutely hate? You get to deal with their asses all day. The lunches weren’t so great either. I honestly prefer public school, even if the pizza tastes like shit

  13. U see

    I went to public

    But in a rich district of town

    So we got shitty meals

    But good ones
    On wensday we got Pizza Hut pizza

    And I always got 2 slices

  14. Apparently, when my grandad was at school, he HAD to eat all his food and for dessert, he had custard. But he didn’t like custard. So he put it in his pocket.

  15. I just pack because the school lunches are like that they got left overs from a dumpster from the back of the most disgusting store

  16. But at my school they always serve SunButter it's supposed to be a peanut butter sandwich but with no peanuts

  17. My School (Private arab school)

    1. Chicken masala (Rice and chicken with cury)
    2. Shawarma (A tortilla with chicken garlic sauce and fries in the inside)
    3. Hamburger /w fries
    4. Saleeg (Rice that has a lot of moisture)
    5. Pizza

  18. At my old school if u didn’t pack a lunch and had no money, they would literally force u to eat this monstrosity of a sandwich that had wheat bread and a fuckin piece of cold cheese.

  19. They tried that end of lunch b.s. at my school half way through the year… Yupp everyone ignore it and continued there conversations as normal even after threats of detention lmao

  20. I was offered a private school scholarship for football I passed it up because the food was worse off then my public school and the fact that they didn't have another sport that I wanted to be on

  21. Well back at one of my old schools cafeteria had a huge boombox and when the Music played it meant be quite and the Music was What a wonderful world by Louis Armstrong

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