Alternatives To a Standard Relationship
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Alternatives To a Standard Relationship

To a greater extent than we perhaps realise,
when it comes to what sort of relationships we are allowed to have, our societies present
us with a menu with only a single option on it: The Monogamous, Cohabiting Romantic Relationship,
usually served with a Side Order of Children. To be considered remotely normal, we are meant
to develop overwhelming emotional and sexual feelings for one very special person, who
will then become a combination of our best friend, sole sexual partner, co-parent, business
associate, therapist, travel companion, property co-manager, kindergarten teacher and soulmate
– and with whom we will live exclusively in one house, in one bed, for many decades,
in substantial harmony and with an active tolerance for each other’s foibles and ongoing
desire for their evolving appearance, till death do us part.
But what is striking, for an arrangement supposed to be entirely normal, is just how many people
cannot abide by its rules. At least half flunk completely, and a substantial portion muddle
along in quiet desperation. At best, only around 15% of the population admit to being
totally satisfied, a thought-inducingly low figure for a menu option vigorously claiming
universal validity. In our societies, those who can’t get on
with Romantic Monogamous Marriage are quickly diagnosed as suffering from a variety of psychological
disorders: fear of intimacy, clinginess, sexual addiction, frigidity, boundary issues, self-sabotage,
childhood trauma etc. We powerfully imply that someone might be psychologically ill
if they don’t want to keep having sex exclusively with the same partner, or seek to spend every
other weekend apart or want to develop a close friendship elsewhere. But there might be another approach, this
one drawn from the pioneering work of advocates of gay rights, namely that any taste or proclivity
must by definition be acceptable and non-pathological, except in so far as it might hurt the unwilling
or unconsenting. From this perspective, while many ways of life might be different to society’s
presently preferred option, it cannot be right to judge, correct, amend and seek to re-educate
all those attracted to them. With this in mind, the menu of love we should
use starts to look very different. Aside from Romantic Monogamy, all kinds of alternative
ways of living could be devised, including (to kick-start a list):
The Parenting Relationship A union oriented first and foremost towards the well-being
of children, where parents are free to form unions with other parties, once the welfare
and security of off-spring are assured. The Separate Spheres Relationship A union
which understands that no two people should ever be expected to be in total proximity
night after night – and respects the role of certain kinds of privacy in contributing
to emotional well-being and a robust sense of self.
The Yearly Renegotiated Relationship A union which is accepted by both parties as having
only a one-year assured lifespan, after which it must be re-negotiated but without any presumption
that it will necessarily be so or resentment if it is not – a source of insecurity with
surprisingly fruitful and aphrodisiacal side-effects. The Love-or-Sex Union A union which recognises
the difficulty of fusing love and sex in one couple, and makes the possibility of dividing
the two, and seeking fulfilment from alternative sources, non-tragic, unshameful and predictable.
In love, we accept an absence of choice that would be intolerable in other areas of life.
We consent to wearing a uniform that cannot possibly fit our varied shapes, and without
daring to make even minor moves to assemble our own wardrobe. All our collective energies
go into creating astonishing varieties of foods, machines and entertainments, while
the entity that dominates our lives – our relationships – continue in a format more
or less unchanged for the last 250 years. It would be a genuine liberation if, whenever
a new couple came together, it was assumed that they almost certainly would not go along
with the romantic monogamous template, and that the onus was therefore on them to discuss
– up front, in good faith and without insult – the arrangements that would ideally satisfy
their natures. Extra marks would be awarded for innovation and out-of-the-box schemes
– while protestations of satisfaction at the standard model would raise eyebrows.
Once upon a time, male offspring of the European upper classes had only two career options:
to join the army or to join the church. Such narrow-mindedness was eventually dismissed
as evident nonsense and eradicated, and the average citizen of a developed country now
has at least 4,000 job options to choose from. We should strive for a comparable expansion
of our menus of love. We are not so much bad at relationships, as unable – presently
– to understand our needs without shame, to stick up politely for what makes us content,
and to invent practical arrangements that could stand a chance of honouring our complex
emotional reality.

About James Carlton

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100 thoughts on “Alternatives To a Standard Relationship

  1. Broken families and broken relationships can't be fixed by allowing "arrangenents". This is narcissistic and has a detrimental affect on children.

    Children, who are people too, yet this video assumes they're "a side dish".

    How far this channel has fallen…

  2. Whatever you're going to do, I think you should be forced to talk about it. That should be the basic rule. You have to at least ask for what you want, and learn to live with hearing a "no".

  3. I'm still in the ''I don't know what to think about this sh*t'' process… Because I have a fear of intimacy, self-sabotage, childhood issues, and all these funny things… And it affected the way I feel about relationships of course (mainly, bad). I've been more or less identifying with polyamory lately. But, since as a child there was something wrong in what I understood and felt about adult relationships, isn't my current perception somehow wrong as well? If I was truly okay with myself, would I still don't want a monogamous relationship? Can someone relate to that questioning? I feel alone aha

  4. Amazing how close minded viewers of this channel can be, thank you for illustrating this idea and helping validate that at this time I dont have to feel bad for not wanting a standard relationship.

  5. It's funny how there are so many 👎and negative comments ! I truly wonder what triggers that reaction from more people than usual.
    It also makes me sad because some arguments I can read here were or are the same as the ones against same-sex marriage, all over again.

  6. To me, these ignore a very important truth: relationships must be earned. I agree the template for how these relationships are carried out could use closer examination and re-evaluation, but I don’t think the monogamous side is necessarily what needs to change.

  7. People are not logical or rational, nor is any relationship between people. Explaining why these types of relationships will work in a rational vacuum doesn't accurately depict how they'd work in real life.

  8. What passes for Relationship is like 2 parallel lines that never meet.

    The I, the me, the self, the so-called True Self or Higher Self, is an illusion invented from the past conditioning of the brain.

    It invents a sense of division and separation between the me and the not me, which breeds conflict, violence, and suffering in daily life. Therefore, no Relationship.

    There is only what passes for Relationship, which is merely mutual exploitation and mutual self-gratification.

    Total Freedom from this illusion is the beginning of Relationship, Communication, Communion, Connection for the very first time, in each and every moment of daily life.

  9. For all the keyboard warriors out there that love monogamy, these are "alternatives". You don't have to do it if you don't like it. That's what CHOICE is about

  10. I usually like your vids but I feel this one makes it sound like a relationship is a spreadsheet and people can just objectively fill it in however they want. On the one hand you’re right that many people are unsatisfied because their expectations of marriage are unrealistic, on the other hand most people can’t compartmentalise in the way you’re suggesting. Expecting a partner to do so is usually just way of abdicating the responsibility to emotionally support them. Resentment & jealousy don’t have an on/off switch, which I suspect is why monogamy will remain an enduring model for relationships… and why so many poly couples have this creepy gleam in their eye like they want to rip each other’s throats out while they’re smiling and talking about “compersion”. Don’t get me wrong, I want it to work, but usually you could cut the tension with a switchblade lol

  11. Thank you finally for a helpful video. You should point out that these other options are best when the standard arrangement has really and truly failed.

  12. Yeah, ascending to the Nirvana-like state of being cool with your partner fucking other people would be way easier than a monogamous relationship.

  13. It’s taken me 40 years to wake up to the fact that I don’t want to be with or around the same woman all the time for years. I want to explore/experience another woman w/out being called a cheater. I want to be able to see a woman and ask her out while having another woman at the house and do so freely.

  14. To the people disliking, he's not forcing you to do anything or even asking anyone to do anything, he's merely offering people more options. This is literally just more choice, if you're angry at people having more choices, reevaluate your life,

  15. Wow, the comment section is so depressing and toxic 😱 As someone who doesn't want or see that much good in the traditional monoship this is just sad.

  16. This movement has been a very interesting issue here in Argentina. Free love is the most important ideal since it stands for respecting and caring for each others emotions, ways of relating and sexual desires.

  17. The video advocares that monogomy is the only menu. However it never was on the menu this last decade. Its all about poly and ive been growing up trying to find my way in all that

  18. I just started to explore these options… but it’s not easy to stay confident in my curiosity when I am surrounded by society’s only option, and my family starts to worry about me.

  19. So happy someone is finally articulating this. I really wish we would take people at face value and understand that their sex drive, sexual orientation, sexual attraction, etc. are usually within the realm of instinctive, physical or subconscious things that they cannot control. They can withhold or very carefully conceal these needs from us, but they are still going to be there, sipping though every crack, usually in all sorts of twisted behaviour, while causing a lot of inner turmoil and division.

    Whether or not we're willing and able to truly face ourselves and others is for each to decide. I for one seek truth over anything because I am convinced there is a certain magic that can be achieved only when you allow space for the entirety of a person to unfold. I want people to trust that whatever they want to share with me I will be able to take.

    Sometimes I feel the limits of my empathy and understanding stretched in my attempt to accommodate certain aspects of peoples personality, but I always feel enriched and enlightened once I do. It's beautiful. Let's just try that more please.

  20. the reason why people tend to be in monogamous relationships and have children is because that what the majority of the world WANTS TO DO. its not being forced upon us, or expected of us its just what has worked for humanity most efficiently. now if you want to have an alternative relationship then go for it but don't criticize monogamous relationships as if they're outdated and absurd when most people are content this way., I'm sure being in a polyamorous relationship has TONS of problems too.

  21. 0:37 – Just imagine if all of these roles are played by different people…
    I don't know why it wouldn't be good that my soul mate is the mother of my kids and that she is also my best friend and I can just tell anything to her.
    It's not exclusive because of some selfish reason, it's because it's only maintainable if it's just the two of you. I also cannot imagine making a family with anyone whom I don't love. What would be the point?
    Also you can travel with friend and other couples so that doesn't really matter here in my opinion.
    Don't get me wrong you have to have other people in your life but I think it's very very good if you have someone that you can really trust. And if you have that level of trust having kids and spending a lot of time with that person shouldn't be a problem.

  22. Yeah. Forced monogamy and cohabitation can really drain the joy out of a relationship. No doubt about that. There are practical issues, however. It's probably best to sleep with someone, live in the same house as the children and wake up next to each other for the mere fact that it's better time management. Imagine you, your SO and your children all living in separate domiciles? Imagine all the commuting back-and-forth? How would you negotiate work/school/activities? Years of research shows that children do prefer living with their parents, even if the parents aren't thrilled to be together and/or there is a lot of fighting. I'd say there's more wiggle-room for experimentation when children aren't involved.

  23. Looking at the comments people seem to have missed that in the beginning it was stated that “many of us cannot play by the rules”. I think this video is implicitly for those that think about monogamous romantic relationships as “forced” on them, and in the desperate attempt to follow it end up hurting themselves and others (i.e. children and partners). No one said that romantic monogamy is the only option we are given. Instead, it is said that many people see it as their only option. We write “the menu”, and we should “order” what we think is best for us. But to do so, we must accept that we want to insert that extra “dish” in the “menu” that not everyone could like.

  24. I feel like School of life recently has been really pushing relationships with more then one person at a time and I ain’t here for it lol

  25. This channel really is like a secular church, with many of the advantages you'd expect of that (not sarcasm). It's a routine exposure to thought provoking questions and philosophy – for the masses – In this aspect just like church was, but without the often limiting religious worldview.
    I know this is one of the goals for this channel, and i think it's really working, good job everyone.

  26. Yea no. First is an extremely bad IDEA. I have seen plenty of relationships like that and none of them end up good. Many of the kids end up resentful of their parent/a or the other person will have a child as well causing distress on the family. My parents did this, my father took another woman and got her pregnant, they had a child and named him the same name as I. All in all I haven’t seen my father in years and I have no intentions of ever reuniting with my younger brother or that part of the family after all the crap that happened. So the first one is a HUGE NO.

  27. So basically you just justified my ex-girlfriend who wanted me to pay for restaurants and entertain her, and have sex with another boy. I wasn't hurt. I'm not sure if that's good idea to ingest, America.

  28. I'm gonna do the yearly assessment and renewal relationship. I like that option the best because if both parties are really into each other they won't do f*ck sh*t out of fear of not getting renewed next year and if you're someone who is easily bored, you can opt out next year without feeling bad because it's an arrangement. I'm gonna give dating another try after 2 and a half years now.

  29. Issue is "want", in the age of arranged marriages and local unions, relationships were based on commonality of origin and direction, perhaps purpose but hardly just the "being in love" itself nor the "it works for us" type of commitments of today.

  30. Thanks for saying what's best conveniently left unsaid.

    The world may not be ready for this kind of progressive thinking and to hell with the majority cos I AM WILLING to find a place and space for others who arrive at similar conclusions in these times. 🙂

  31. This would work in a world composed of adults (not the teenager-minded society we live in) and without the existence of STDs.
    But that's ideal, not real.
    I've had very different kinds of relationships through my life, and all of them had the same problems the "traditional" relationships have.
    Just multiplied by every person involved…

  32. I see a lot of comments about how bad the alternative ideas given in the video are, when actually I just think we've become so used to the monogamous relationship to ever think outside the box and we think that negotiating about non-monogamous relationships with other people is totally impossible just because they've never tried it. But it is possible, we just have to learn to communicate, be honest, and know ourselves deeply enough to be able to be in one of these alternative relationships successfully!

  33. Men must maintain the frame of a relationship, be a leader, decision maker, and someone that their wife wants to follow and look upto. Removing them from this role by a negotiated, contractual relationship is not going to make a woman happy. Yes, she will have more negotiating power, but a woman would almost always trade that power for a man that inspires her to follow his lead. This is the worst video on your channel, and I am very very disappointed SOL is following the agenda to destroy traditional famlilies. Props to them for thinking out side of the box and recognizing that failure of marriage. The numbers speak for them selves. I just think that your solutions are terrible ideas. Why don't we start with having fewer sexual partners before marriage?? There ya go, that is proven to create more successful marriages.

  34. You could have done a service to describe non monogamy as healthy but you didn't. All you did was paint it in monogamous highlights. Boo to you.

  35. I am no psychologist, but I recall Jordan Peterson saying if we do not have monogamous relationships as a social norm in the west, the incels would rise in number and murder, because alphas would be having sex with most of the women. I'm not entirely sure though, anyone know a good counter argument?

  36. Yuk! 🤢, in those types of relationship that was described, I never be happy because I would never be satisfied. Knowing that my best friend has emotional and sexual intimacy with another is just not me. I want someone that wants me for me and is sure about my worth. I don’t want someone that sees next good thing and forgets about us

  37. This couldn’t have come at a better time in my life. I’d had this idea for an unorthodox partnership / pseudo-relationship. And one of the models you guys presented, explains it really well. Thank you so much for this video.

  38. One of the obstacles in being able to accept this is the social standard dictated by religion. In particular, Christianity (or at least, that's the way it is in my country, the Philippines). It's going to take a long time to upheave the assumption of a monogamous relationship being the natural relationship upheld by "the natural order", as dictated by the religion. And even if people do stop believing that monogamy, as dictated by their religion, is natural, I think that this social norm would still exist in the back of their minds just because of how long it was ingrained into society. Easier said than done, so to speak.

  39. This might work if people actually knew what they wanted. We only THINK we know what we want, until we get it and find we don't want it.

  40. People arrogantly think that they can easily suppress hundreds of thousands of years of evolution in hour genes. Whenever we do that we bring misery to our poor souls.

  41. The idea that any sexual taste or proclivity should be acceptable so long as it doesn't hurt unwilling participants is a dangerous notion. Humans have many self destructive tendencies, not the least of which are sexual, and curbing them is the job of culture and society. That being said I would not outlaw those behaviors, but I would discourage them through cultural means. Yes being in a long term committed relationship is hard work, but that is what makes it rewarding.

  42. My mother and father renegotiated the relationship when I was 4 years old and me and my seven sisters and two brothers suffered for it.

  43. Ummmmm have you lived in the real world!!!!!! In any of those scenario one is considered a FREAK! This video was obviously meant to be a joke! I am not in judgement of anyone BUT society by and large will. even the most liberal of characters…. I’m ostracized for being a confirmed bachelor by most! Serious

  44. Unfortunately what I want is the standard relationship, so I probably won’t be able to keep up with this new generation.

  45. I've just ended an 18 year monogamous relationship. Most of it was good, we managed to build a great business etc because we worked as a solid loving team. The last few years together were excruciatingly difficult, because over the years we evolved into different people and suddenly we just became combative over all sorts of issues. I don't know if I'll ever have the energy for another relationship like what a monogamous arrangement requires. I'd like to have a special, intimate friend, but still live on my own.

  46. GTFO Alain. That is because any other model does not work. Marriage works. People know nothing about increasing their chances for marital success.

  47. Idk why I still follow this channel.
    Quite frankly the self helpism does nothing but blackpill me, and the normalizing at work in this video is especially offputting.
    Traditions are inventions. And we invent things for a reason.

    You deserve each and every dislike.

  48. Before getting into any relationship, you are RESPONSIBLE to ask yourself:

    "What do I need?"
    "What do I want?"
    "What are my limits?"
    "What is a no-go?"
    "What do I have to offer?"
    "What am I willing to negotiate?"
    "What kind of person am I under stress?"
    "What kind of person am I at my best/worst?"
    "What makes me really angry/sad/happy/extraHAPPY?"
    "What do I wish to achieve?"
    "Who am I… really?"
    "Who do I want to become?"
    "How do I take care of my physical/mental/emotional health?"
    "How do I prioritize what is important to me?"
    "How are my relationships with my parents/siblings and other family member?"
    … (and more, much more)

    You are responsible to KNOW YOURSELF so you can better ask those questions to your partner(s). Listen carefully to how they respond as much as the answer itself.

    This sets the expectations and go back to those questions once in a while to stay self-aware of your growth but also aware of your partner(s)'.

    Having said that, what is exactly the "pioneering work of the advocates of the gay right " and how is it related to alternative relationships?

    Those alternative relationships are either open relationships (#1 and #5), monogamous relationship but not under the same roof (#2, ambiguously explained) or dating exclusively with a one year free-trial (#3).

    Also, why the association with gays right advocates? What is their roles? What is their authority in this domain?

    Monogamy is indeed "society's preferred option" as it sustains the test of time and therefore shows stability. It is the norm for that reason.
    Besides, Western societies don't "judge, correct, amend and seek to re-educate all those attracted to them".

    #1 – That's called an open relationship. Why mention the "welfare and security of off-spring are assured"? Wouldn't that be implied and assumed regardless of the nature of a relationship?

    #2 – Monogamous relationship but not under the same roof is not so uncommon. Think of people with hectic jobs (especially night shift workers) or people that travel a lot for business. Again, Why mention the privacy? Everyone needs privacy, people are human and reasonable.

    #3- That's dating exclusively (with a timer on). Wouldn't "that source of insecurity" be "surprisingly fruitful" because you might not get a renewal after that one year free-trial which has you commit better?

    #4 – Open relationship. I wonder if this could be truly fruitful for someone who started as monogamous in their relationship but became incapable to fulfill their partner's sexual need (thinking total body paralysis or extreme handicap)?
    That's what monogamous relationship expect you do it EVERY DAY. No back door , no free-trial. You must be all-in to play that game(figuratively speaking).

    The absence of choice is as valid as too much of it– it isn't it.

    Why comparing monogamous relationship so pejoratively with army uniform to show conformity? This isn't a game of structure with conformity or who is the most original! Ideas are nice but few are practical and intelligent.

    Why has the format unchanged over the last 250 years? That's no coincidence. Monogamy brings stability in a society.

    How about applying advices of proper exchange with honesty and without insults in monogamous relationships FIRST?

    The upper class (a minority) options (army vs church) is a fallacy comparison to monogamous relationships (NOT A MINORITY WITHIN THE WESTERN WORLD). Un vrai sophisme! Bravo monsieur Botton
    1) "Once upon a time". No. What period are you referring to?
    2) Upper class of men: that's a minority. Monogamous relationships are NOT a minority.
    3) Upper class men going from 2 to 4000 jobs options? BITTE. Badly presented…

    We figured thousands years ago the importance of monogamy. If you question it, ask yourself why no other model has SURVIVED and why it's working as EFFICIENTLY and why is it replicated worldwide.

    Lastly, why criticizing monogamous relationship at the end to the point that it might "raise an eyebrow"? That is indeed a dangerous game.

  49. Idk with avoidant attachment I’ve learned I’ve sought out multiple casual partnerships because of my fears and lack of connection. I’ve never been in a completely monogamous relationship and don’t know what it looks like for two adults with normal attachment operate an open long term relationship.

  50. Each and every relationship starts with two individuals – they are unique. A mass movement does only mess up and confuse many people about that. -> Every creative human being should be able to discuss the do´s and don´ts with his or her partner or even stay alone as long as they wish for. Consciously chosen solitude can be a refining or purgatory act.

  51. I feel like these arrangements go against human nature once feelings and children are in the mix. If everyone can agree, communicate effectively and make the right decision every time then fine but most people don't work like that and a lot of people are psychologically ill. Not saying these people shouldn't try to be happy where they can find it but making decisions to make yourself happy in the short term can have worse outcomes later down the line which are harder to resolve/cause more pain.

  52. The amount of negative comments here makes me kinda sad. I'm a big fan of monogamy myself. But that doesn't mean I can't think about other concepts, talk about them with my partner, and staying curious and respectful about other approaches to relationships.

    And I think it's actually beautiful and important for personal growth to reflect on our own emotions and believes. It's totally fine if you say that this way of living isn't your way. But I feel like a lot of interesting questions just start at this point, like "Why do I like those kind of relationships?", "Where do my feelings of jealousy/romance/trust… come from?". And it feels like a lot of people just skip over that part of reflection, even though it just helps to understand yourself better. <3

  53. It is a proven fact that the more options we have on the menu, the less satisfied we will be with the decision we make..

  54. A video rebelling against the notion that it is psychopathological while most examples given are in fact to greater or lesser degree pathological. I'm sure there's a name for that. "I know you'll say (recognize) this is pathological, so I'll quickly say that surely you will say that, so that you can't say it anymore." lol.

  55. The problem here is, the perfection complex. This whole video assumes that, if we were to open up and accept alternatives, that everyone is going to act better, learn more, be more polite. They aren't… Over the last 10 years of my scholarly and personal studies in to psychology and philosophy, humans have NEVER been able to reach such feets, in any subject. We've never been able to accept each other, trust each other, or love each other. There are SO many factors that go in to why a person feels the way they do, and the main problem is, nobody cares about other people as much as we say we do. You've got a select handful who are willing to put aside their thoughts and hear others out, but the main population holds the rule book, titles, and stereotype pens. THEY decide what is and is not acceptable. Just because a small group starts to accept something, doesn't mean other people will.

    I love the videos, and this channel, but I can't see a benefit to this, because I've met so many type A personality people who would just take advantage of things like this, make excuses and hurt people, even worse than they're being hurt right now. I've LITERALLY seen the, "love or sex", plan, backfire SO MANY TIMES, because humans don't know any better…
    It's important to love and learn, but when the mass majority of your species only pretends to understand what is going on, very dangerous circumstances arise. People get hurt, mentally and physically, movements are made to FORCE respect out of people, like a spoiled brat, instead of trying to truly earn it. People become snobs and so self-centered, it's amazing they don't collapse in on themselves and become a black hole.

    I have been struggling for so long to find ANYONE who is willing to give or do something, FOR FUN and FREE. I'm always seen as a value, instead of a person, to them. I haven't found a single person in my life who loves to learn, who wants to love, romantically, sexually, and as friends, even close to the same level as I do. I don't want to be perfect, I just want to be nice and caring, for all types of relationships! But people are making it so difficult by constantly treating me as a means to an end…
    I think in some future time, perhaps the majority of humans will learn to understand each other better, and not just this day-to-day life, wiping away a day to replace it with another, finding true joy and love in the time they spend with those in their lives… Just wish I could be around to see the day we all come together as a species, undivided, but not arrogant or doctorial in how we do it. True peace and understanding that there are so many different kinds of humans, there IS right and wrong when it comes to endangering others, and that words hold less weight than actions.

  56. I like kink. My boyfriend does not to the same extent. I am unfulfilled sexually. I love my boyfriends personality. I wanna do this. But it would break my bfs heart.
    Strange thing is, ever since I was little I have always agreed with polygamy. I am definitely way more open minded than my BFF and that annoys me sometimes.
    Idk what to do.
    I want a good sex life but he can’t give me that (unless I threaten polygamy). I don’t wanna threaten polygamy and have him feel uncomfortable while helping me.
    I just want someone who enjoys what I enjoy.
    But I want to keep my boyfriend. I personally never would have minded if he had wanted to have sex with another girl experimentally as long as I new he needed me emotionally.
    I don’t know what to do, polygamy would break his heart but I feel unfulfilled. I have only hinted at this and usually I’m quite a blunt person but idk what to do.

  57. It's really simple: if you want civilization – you support nuclear family, if you're tired of civilization – you can choose from any of the other options.

  58. As long as we can accept result without being hurt, or at the very least not actively hurt others, life is more or less tolerable

  59. Delusional couples think they are going to be madly in love forever. You have to question what you're going into a relationship for in the first place. You have to look at the big picture otherwise don't go into a relationship.

  60. This is the video society needs. Thank you for all of your hard work and courage to push up against the boundaries of society School Of Life.

  61. Makes a mockery of the last few decades where men have had to hand over 50% of their assets simply for attempting a relationship that is almost fundamentally doomed to fail to some degree. It's called being setup to fail, but as long as women took advantage of that, it's all good. But now that women can earn their own asset base, oh now suddenly that 50% split seems old fashioned and must be changed. Cherry picking does not produce respect.

  62. This video acts as if there is no value from material things, and that relationships are the ultimate goal of life. Both of which are just bullshit. The job/relationship analogy is horrible. This is just like getting a participation medal, just lower the bar until you can pretend to yourself you're in a successful relationship, rather than find the person you actually want to be with.

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