11 Old-School Etiquette Rules UNFAIRLY Considered
Now, some people may consider these old-school rules to be outdated, unfair, even sexist.
Me, I say to hell with the haters. These old-school etiquette rules are needed in today’s day
and age and are still relevant. Starting things off, let’s talk about the
old-school rule of helping a woman to be seated. Now, this rule also applies to children, it
applies to anyone that needs assistance. And I think that’s the key to this rule – anyone
that needs assistance. And, let’s look at the history why women why
are they singled out? Because it used to be especially during the Victorian era, women
actually had difficulty getting around because their clothing was difficult. Not only to
put on to take off, but it was also difficult simply to move around in and around space.
So, a gentleman would always understand that a woman’s clothing, hey, she’s dressing in
a certain way, he would help her to be seated. Now, in today’s day and age, is it practical?
Does a woman need our help to be seated? Of course not. But, why do I still advocate that
a gentleman should help a woman to be seated? For me, it’s a sign of respect. All of us
have mothers. All of us have had women who have sacrificed to help us achieve greatness
in life. I think about my mom working three jobs. I
think about my aunt working two jobs and allowing me to live with her while I was growing up.
I think about my sisters. I think about my wife. I think about my daughters. Setting
the example of how human beings should treat other human beings. And, guys, that’s what
it’s about, it’s simply treating other human beings with respect.
Next up, we’ve got opening doors. Same line of thought here. It’s about showing respect.
So, I think that a man should open doors for women. I think a man should open doors for
other men, for children, for anyone that needs assistance, especially for someone that needs
assistance. When you see someone and they’re maybe a little
bit out of the way they’re ahead of you, but they’ve got their arms full. Be the guy that
goes out of his way to assist. Look out for your fellow human beings. And that’s really
all opening doors whether it be into a building whether it be into a car, just simply do it
out of respect for your fellow human beings. Next up, let’s talk about being honest. Having
the courage to give your honest opinion even when it’s not politically correct. Now, a
lot of people are going to say let’s not ruffle feathers. Let’s not start a fight. Let’s not
offend anyone. And, yeah, you shouldn’t maybe necessarily talk about religion or politics,
that can lead to pretty bad fights. But, if you understand the art of conversation
and you can bring things back. You can dial them down you can dial them up, what you can
have are great conversations. You know social media isn’t the place for conversation. I
think a lot of people they try to have their conversations there and they find that, oh,
people get all riled up, people don’t listen. Of course, they don’t because it’s anonymous
people talking to anonymous people behind their computer screens.
But, when you’re face-to-face at these holiday parties, when you’re engaging with someone
and you’re having a heart-to-heart conversation, what can happen here is it actually you can
get people to think. You can start to think about something and that’s the key is you’ve
got to understand the art of conversation. Being able to punch, to jab, to defend. To
be able to go and be open to what this person has to say and to be able to repeat back to
them and understand their point of view. We do this by being honest, not by hiding behind,
yeah, not wanting to offend. Next up, let’s talk about giving up your seat.
Should a man always give up a seat for a woman? I’m a little bit old-school, I think the answer
is mostly yes, but it depends on the situation. I think men though should be aware of what’s
going on around them and say, hey, you know those kids over there are about to fall over,
I should give up my seat to them. That woman over there could be pregnant, I
should give up my seat to her. That older guy that can barely stand, I should give up
my seat to him. That younger guy that maybe looks like he just had surgery came in on
a walker, I should give up my seat to him. Look around, be observant.
Now, of course, if she’s on the other side of the car, she just came in, you — if you
try to give up your seat on the other side, by the time you let her know and get her over
there, someone’s already going to have taken that seat. So, you got to be aware you got
to be practical. But, I do believe that when men show by example,
we get up and we give our seats up, other men notice this. And this is what it does,
it creates a society in which people are nicer to each other. We lead by example, other people
see it and we change society by first improving and changing ourselves.
Next up, let’s talk about paying for the meal. When a man takes a woman out, should he pay
for the date? My answer is yes. You should pay for the date. A little bit old school,
but here’s the thing is that 80% of women still believe and still use this as a test
to determine if they’re going to go out again with the guy. So, guys, just go ahead, suck
it up that first one. Now do you need to pay the second, third,
fourth, fifth? Well, you could make a judgment call there. Maybe there you want to go Dutch
or maybe it can be like, hey, I will pay for the first date and you pay the second one.
Again, kind of encouraging to go out with her again.
The point is is this is something that, yes, does not logically made — make sense, but
most women are looking at it from, yeah, he should pay for the first date, if he wants
to go out with me again. Again, maybe not fair, but that’s just the way it is.
Now, what about when you’re out with the guys where you got a few families that are together
having a big meal, they give you one check? Well, in this case, ask for the check to be
split or may be look around. If you’re aware that the family you’re with, they’re,
you know, they came out because you invited them, understand that you should probably
foot the bill for this instance. [0:04:58]
If you understand that there’s other people here that they’re going to have trouble paying
the bill. Maybe someone just lost their job, maybe throw a little bit in extra and just
say, hey, no, don’t worry about it, man. You’ll get me next time.
I love it when a man can be generous and that’s what I’m always looking for in friends, people
that give, not necessarily money, but people that give of themselves they give of their
time. Now, I’m not talking about having a whole
bunch of mooches around you that are going to you know take advantage of you, but I am
saying once especially if it’s a one-time get-together, don’t be afraid to actually
take care of it. Next up on this list, asking your girlfriend’s
father for her hand in marriage. Basically, you’re asking permission from your future
in-laws to join the family. And that’s what I view that some people say, oh, it’s sexist
that basically it’s like he is selling her. No, it’s not like that.
For me, it’s simply insurance because I’m going to be stuck with these people. I’m going
to be seeing them at holidays. I’m probably going to stay with them, you know things get
really bad, we may go live with them. Point being is I want these people on my side.
And you genuinely should care for them, get to know them and want to share this big moment,
so they can be part of it. And that’s the thing is it’s just simply about bringing them
in and about building the relationship. Next up, let’s talk about parties with dress
codes. You may read that some people say, yeah, don’t ever throw a party with a dress
code because you don’t want to put someone in an uncomfortable situation if they don’t
have the clothing, they don’t own it. Here’s the thing is by having a dress code,
you’re very clear you actually make it easier for people to know what to wear to the party
especially when it’s a nicer party. In addition, you set the ambience. And, guys, guys can
go out and they can rent clothing. They can borrow from friends. Women, they borrow dresses
all the time. The point is when you have a dress code, you set a mood. And there’s nothing
wrong with having a party with a dress code. Saying a prayer before a meal. Now, you may
be atheist, but if you’re somebody’s guest, if this person is paying the bill, if this
person has invited you to the party, then, yeah, you can actually go through it. Maybe,
you don’t have to, you know, pray – pray, do whatever you want to do meditate. But the
point being is whoever is hosting this, if they want to give a prayer, that’s all on
them. Now, if you were invited and you find that
people here are not very spiritual, they’re not very religious, you don’t want to stop
everything and say, hey, I need to give a prayer. I need to bless this food. That’s
going a little bit beyond. You could may be speak with the hostess or host about it and
see if they would be open to something like that. Point being is you respect the person
that is hosting that party that has put this together.
Bringing the hostess a gift. Now, some people say, oh, what a suck-up. Oh, that’s not necessary.
I think it is necessary. When you’re visiting someone’s home for the first time, find out
you know, okay, do they drink alcohol, maybe bring them a really nice bottle of whiskey.
Bring a wine, put a nice bow on it. And if they’re not into that, then find something
else. Bring flowers. Maybe she’s really into olive oils, maybe there’s something you can
bring from your area. I live in Wisconsin. We’ve got, you know,
really good maple syrup. You find something that you can bring and present to the home
when you’re visiting. This is a small gesture, but an important gesture I think a lot of
people look over and they forget that actually it’s I think it’s pretty important.
Next up, we’ve got walking a woman home, walking her to the bus stop to make sure she gets
on safely, driving her home going out of your way to make sure that she gets to her home
safely. Here’s the thing is, yes, I know that men get attacked, but women get attacked a
lot more. Make sure that you look out for other people especially for the ladies in
your life. The next old-school etiquette rule you need
to follow, don’t interrupt conversations. And guess what? You’re interrupting your
own conversations whenever you’re talking with someone and you feel that phone buzz,
what do you do? You reach in, you pull it out, you check that text message. Guys, stop
it. How to do this? I’ve got you covered in this
video right here. I talk about being addicted to phones, all the issues didn’t we face with
these devices and how to navigate the modern manners men need to know when it comes to
phone etiquette. Check out this video right here. I’ll also link to it down in the description.
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